Spiders and Insects

Just looking at a big fook off Daddy Longlegedius, to give it its Latin name, crawling up my front room wall as I sit in an insomniac state on my laptop.

Anyways, myself and Flano were having a discussion on insects and the like in the Cherry Tree a few weeks ago. Basically if the spider was on Flano’s wall right now he’d be dead, as Flano likes to kill the poor harmless feckers. I’m of the opinion that spiders are good for any house as they play a part in keeping the dreaded bluebottle and housefly population down.

The only insect I fear is a cockroach as I had a horrible experience with these huge fookers on a holiday from hell in Lanzarote when I was a young fella. Anything that gets cut in half and can still survive for days is a freak and deserves to die.

The question is, insects, do you kill 'em or leave 'em?

Generally i leave them alone unless they are the real sick looking fooks like cockroaches and beetles. I always try to tango with any smart-ass fly that dare venture into my living space, opting for the rolled up paper method of attack. I had a penchant for torturing of bee’s when i was a young wipper-snapper but i leave these boyos alone these days.

Ah yeah, the aul jam jar with the holes in the lid and all the flower heads cut off all the neighbours flowers in the hunt for the biggest bumble bee, those were the days!

One place where flies cannot be touched is in the Bachelor Inn, the locals look opon them as “part of the furniture”. It’s amazing how they fly around your glass, but they never venture into your pint!

Kill the fookers. Id do the same to humans, dogs, cats etc problem is with these bigger things they would leave an awful mess. I’d probably get some sort of prison sentence too if anyone found out.

Wasps are the fookers that need killing,them and moths.

Nothing more annoying than a moth head butting the lightbulb for hours on end the numb twats.

Wasps are just pure evil that exterminating.

The bluebottle is the only insect which I will swing a rolled up newspaper at and throughly enjoy it. I fcukin hate the dirty bastards.

The wasp may get it from time to time. Only if I feel threatened tho

Wasps I hate (not the White Anglo Saxon Prod types, although they annoy me as well), and flies I hate, the rest I can take or leave.

[quote=“BenShermin”]

…myself and Flano were having a discussion on insects and the like in the Cherry Tree a few weeks ago. Basically if the spider was on Flano’s wall right now he’d be dead, as Flano likes to kill the poor harmless feckers. [/quote]

Sometimes I just viciously assault the fookers and send them off to tell their friends it would be best to stay away.

Hate every single one of them. The only things I’m not afraid of are moths but I’m still unprepared to sleep with one in my room. Any sort of crawling or buzzing object is my mortal enemy. But I’m not attacking them myself - I’m way too chicken to do that. Have humane spider catchers at home but I’m not prepared to use them - if I see a spider I’m out of the room.

Once dropped two crates of beer in Prague when one of the lads pretended there was a wasp behind me. There were three of us carrying 2 crates but I was bravely occupying the middle spot in the carrying scheme when I was spooked by the phantom wasp. Lost loads of beer at a time when we could ill-afford it.

The spider I was talking about this morning crawled up the wall and rested on the ceiling. He is still in the exact same position, do they not get bored!

He’s waiting to lay a big steaming turd on your head while you sleep.
I won’t go to sleep if one of them spiders is hanging about on the ceiling,i have a fear it might crawl in my ear like them bugs in Star Trek III:The Wrath of Khan.

Jaysus yeah. I remember those things from Star Trek but it was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, not III http://www.thefreekick.com/vbforum/images/icons/icon11.gif.

Anyone ever hoover them up? I remember one night I fell asleep and woke up at approx 7.00am to hear a buzzing noise in my room. I awoke to find my light left on and about 6-7 swarming wasps around it. I ran down the stairs and hoovered the fookers. One got away though and I didn’t see where it went which forced me to grab my quilt and sleep on the sofa. Bastards http://www.thefreekick.com/board/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mad.gif

Classic Flano: “What the fuck am I going to do with this”

Oh yeah. Well remembered there Ben http://www.thefreekick.com/vbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

Exactly my view. Wasps are horrible creatures - would liken them to rats.

Saw a David Attenborough show a few years back where a butterfly had laid an egg or whatever and a wasp came along (don’t ask how they did it) and inserted their young into the egg killing the caterpillar in there. The Butterfly didn’t know any better and was flying around it protecting it. It then showed the moment the egg hatched and this big dirty wasp came out. Fooking disgusting it was. Ever since then I have made it my business to kill the fookers when I see them.

I have no problem with spiders. When I say that I mean the lads that you see in the bathroom not those big crazy motherfuckers…

Anybody have silverfish in their homes?

Anyone else suffering from an invasion of massive fucking spiders in the last few weeks? Must be the fourth one I’ve ‘Dealt with’ this week. Missus is freaked out.

1 Like

Time of the year chief. Every cunt looking for somewhere warm for the winter

Fair enough, it’s just that they’re alot bigger than normal.

I think this is the time of the year that they come out looking for their hole. They are, I believe, a class of a funnell web spider whose main method of hunting is ambush.
This time of the year they are compelled by their nature to abandon their hidey holes in the pursuit of flange.
The horny bastards.

4 Likes