Strange things you have seen on Public transport

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All from the 76 bus from the times I used to get it about 8/9/10 years ago.

Was going over to Tallaght one morning at about 10. The bus was fairly empty. I was going through my “mad lad” phase where I always went down to the back seat upstairs. There was only about five or six people on the top deck. Going past Finches in Neilstown a lad on his own with greased up matted down hair and a serious scowl on his face gets on the bus. I’d say he was about 14 or so. He makes his way purposefully down to the back seat opposite me. He waits about a minute, and then takes out a blade and starts slashing up the seats. I can half understand this sort of stuff if your with a group of mates or whatever - but 10 in the morning on your own? I didn’t argue.

Another time at about 10 in the morning I was on my way over, I was sitting midway up on the top deck this time. This guy about late 30’s early 40’s gets on at Clondalkin village and sits in the seat directly in front of me. He’s obviously stoned out of it. He sits sideways on in the seat and starts making me feel uncomfortable. Next thing he starts singing. He went into a bit oif a medley. First song he sings “If you’ve got the feeling jump up to the ceiling” by 5ive (it’s true they really did go out at the top). Then he turns around and starts singing that song by Aerosmith - I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing - directly into my face. Then by the time the bus had got to the Belgard Road he’d stated into “It’s only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away”. There were a couple of others in there too which I’ve blanked out.

Another time going though Clondalkin village, agin I’m sitting midway upstairs with only a few people up there. Couple of 14 or 15 year old lads down the back on their own. One of thenm takes out a screwdriver and starts poking into the back window. Next thing you know the back windscreen has shattered into a milion pieces but is still standing. The bus driver doiesn’t know this and keeps going. Suddenly the bus has to take that sharp turn at the Laurels and the whole thing comes crashing down on a car following the bus. The bus keeps going.

Once coming home on a very full bus I was sitting downstairs on those seats where you face two passengers. It was a skanger couple, both about about 40. THe mother has a slobbering baby in her arms. I’d say it was about 8 months old. The Da is drinking a can of Dutch Gold. He’s clearly stoned. Then the Da puts the can of Dutch Gold up to the baby’s llips and lets a little of the lager come out onto the baby’s face. Not that much, but just enough to wet the baby’s mouth.

That’s just a taster of what happens on the 76.

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19a

An old drunk got on the bus one evening on O’Connell Street and sat down opposite me on the bottom deck. After a couple of minutes he reached inside his pocket and pulls on a battery powered cd player and starts up with a Bob Marley CD. He stands up and starts belting out Jamming for the whole bus. He’d get about a 1 minute into the song and then he’d skip on to the next song and belt out a bit of that, he was still on the bus and still singing when I got off in Glasnevin.

3

The arguements people used to have on the phone on a bus used always keep me amused. The 13 or 13A were always good for these. Some fella would normally be screeching down the phone at his burd waiting for the bus and then continue to do it the whole way out along for the whole bus to listen to. The birds screaming down the phone was always funnier though. Usually because the fella stuck his knob in their best friend and that type of thing.

4

The worst I ever saw on a bus was a bunch of out and out scum on the 19a one evening. There were 2 blokes, a bird and a young kid sitting a couple of seats up from the back seat upstairs. The three ‘grown ups’ were all out of it completely, one guy and the bird were quite loud and boisterous. The other dude was out of it completely and slumped in his seat. Anyway, this crowd were sitting behing me and every now and again I would glance back to see what was going on. At one stage I saw the bird mount the boisterous bloke and can only guess what was going on. The young kid (obvious the bird’s daughter) asked the bloke that was out of it what her mum was doing. It was fucking pathetic.

Anyway all four got off the bus and the boisterous bloke came running back up the stairs to get the kids’ toy she had left behind and was roaring abuse at the kid. It was shocking to be honest. You would like to think you would interveve in a situation like that but what do you do?

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[quote=“farmerinthecity”]The worst I ever saw on a bus was a bunch of out and out scum on the 19a one evening. There were 2 blokes, a bird and a young kid sitting a couple of seats up from the back seat upstairs. The three ‘grown ups’ were all out of it completely, one guy and the bird were quite loud and boisterous. The other dude was out of it completely and slumped in his seat. Anyway, this crowd were sitting behing me and every now and again I would glance back to see what was going on. At one stage I saw the bird mount the boisterous bloke and can only guess what was going on. The young kid (obvious the bird’s daughter) asked the bloke that was out of it what her mum was doing. It was fucking pathetic.

Anyway all four got off the bus and the boisterous bloke came running back up the stairs to get the kids’ toy she had left behind and was roaring abuse at the kid. It was shocking to be honest. You would like to think you would interveve in a situation like that but what do you do?[/quote]

Fair play to yer man for getting the ride.

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78a

Fairly empty bus off Aston Quay one evening, I take a middle seat upstairs and until a woman got on the bus at Thomas Street I was the only punter on the upper deck. This woman proceeds to crawl under the seats one by one as if she’s searching for something. Sooner than later she comes to my seat and she actually kneels down beside my seat and starts looking around the seat underneath me. I take an earphone out of my left ear and this gives her the opportunity to speak to me: "oh don’t mind me"she says “I’m just searching for some of those bleeding change slips”.

Sitting upstairs on a packed bus one rush hour in James’s Street and an alarm goes off, the bus comes to a halt and the driver walks up the stairs and aproaches the three junkies in the back seats;

"did you open the emergency window lads" the driver asked the junkies.

“oh no, I don’t know ohhhhh” one of the junkies makes a half arsed attempt to reply in the English language.

“ah come on now” the driver said while he leaned over to close the window “people are trying to get home”

“so are we for fooooks saaaake” the junkies all stated together

“really?” the surprised driver asked “you actually have homes to go to”!!.

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On my way into Dame Street one evening for a few late night beers, a Niker scummer decides to take a piss down the back of the bus because he couldn’t wait the five minutes until town. He then lied across the back seat and went for a sleep. As the piss rolled down the floor under the seats towards the front of the bus I was about to get off.

While passing two well dressed ladies in high heels on my way off I told them to “lift their legs”.

“The cheek of you” one of them snapped at me,

“oh no I didn’t mean it like that, a chap took a slash down the back and you might end up with pish on your feet if you don’t lift them off the ground!” I infomed them.

“oh right thanks haha” she said “I told you we should have got the luas Jackie”

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On the 51n nitelink one morning some chap actually took the liberty of standing at the stairs asking punters coming up the stairs “smoking or non-smoking?” He directed non-smokers to the front and smokers to the back. I opted for the smoking area!

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Some good stories there Benji.

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Nitelinks :wink:

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on the nitelink out to castleknock one sat night two fellas off their faces harrasing two girls in the seats in front untill one of the fellas pukes over the back of the seat and gets both girls. there was some screaming done.

you just cannot beat the nitelink

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I saw a bus driver have a massive fight with a tramp on a bus in Leeds once. All the young aisan (paki) gangsta type lads loved it and got fierce brave once your man had been kicked off the bus. It was only about eight o clock in the evening as well.

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Was on a Bus Eireann bus home years ago when I was in college and the lad next to me in the back seat proceeded to vomit the entire journey home into a plastic bag. He completely filled it and hung it up from one of the window handles. He then takes a secong plastic bag out of his coat pocket and tried his best to fill that one too.
I was absoloutely dying from a hangover myself and between the heat and the smell, it took enormous effort not to spray all over the bus myself.

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The amount of times I’ve been close to puking on buses isn’t funny. Got off the bus and puked against one of the cement slabs at the Central Bank one morning, had only had one hour sleep and had to be in work in Sandyford for 7am, wasn’t good at all.

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I had to get off 15miles away from home once and puke all over the road. I then had to thumb home in the rain, I think half the time it’s just all in your head that you are going to spray which in turn causes you to panic as there’s no toilet onboard.

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I’ve been on the Nitelinks where it’s turned out to be the highlight of the night. Nothing like a good bitch fight where two tarts get their claws stuck into each other. Seen a good few over the years.

Was drinking outside the Gingerman pub down near Merrion Square last year with a few lads. We’d bought a load of cans between us (about 15) as there was supposed to be a house party somewhere later on. We were drinking outside the pub - there’s a bit of a smoking area out the front. We stashed the cans under a traffic cone within eyeshot. One of the lads then gets into a scrap with a scumbag who was also drinking there and a couple of the lads milled in. Anyway the house party plan was called off and the rest of the lads said they were going home instead. None of them seemed to care about the cans or else they’d forgotten about them.

So there’s about 15 cans still sitting under a traffic cone. There was an orange bucket lying in a stairwell beside the pub so I got the bucket and put all the cans into it and just walked to Westmoreland St and got on the Nitelink with the bucket with the cans overflowing from it, no problems at all. I was so pissed that it was only the next morning that I realised there was blood all over the cans. The lad who was in the fight had been handling them but just put the cone down on them again and left.

15

I was on the bus there. Fella beside me munching away on a big bag of cheese and onion. So far so disgusting. Then he finished them all and folded the bag neatly and put it into his pocket. He then proceeded to suck every finger on his hand to get the last of the cheese and onion off his flesh. Having done that he then proceeded to pick his teeth with his fingers.

He then pressed the stop button with the hand he had sucked and grabbed every pole (ie yellow pole not Pole) on the way off the bus.

Is it any reason people drive everywhere when you have animals like this on the bus.

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16

You sound like a fellow sufferer

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A good dusty packet of crisps is hard bet. This fella would do awful things with a bag of Monster Munch.

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Sure you hardly expect the man to walk around with crispy fingers?

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I was on finglands (affectionately known as filthy finglands) no. 42 one fine Saturday evening about 15 years ago, though it seems less. I was headed into Manchester along Oxford Road which, at the time, was apparently the busiest bus route in Europe as there were no controls on buses. The general pecking order from first class to steerage was
Stagecoach
First
Bullicks
Magic bus (the budget manky arm of stagecoach)
Filthy finglands.

Stagecoach was £1.25 right down to 50 p for any journey on finglands.
People generally got whichever bus came first, which would drive you mental, as invariably the three or four after would overtake, but I digress.
So, one Saturday fine summers everning, I was headed into town at about 1845 or so, and the only other passengers on the top deck were a group of five pretty, youngish (early 20s at a guess), well dressed and well spoken young ladies. About halfway into town, one of them stood up, hoiked up her skirt and pulled down her knickers, half squatted in the aisle, took a long relaxed piss, and rearranged her clothing before sitting back down and continuing her conversation like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I was mesmerised.
With it being finglands, I’d say it was rattling around the top dexk til they went out of business.

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Did you fail the bag @Fagan_ODowd

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