Great post, havent copied it if you wish to delete. Very brave thing to say. I think a lot of people have thought about their own funeral, who would be upset, what would peoples reactions be etc. Think that is a world away from making it happen. My first post on this thread P3 or something refers to the alcohol issue that you mention. Doesnt affect you when you are younger because you have less responsibilities, less to worry about effectively. The blues I get from booze now are ridiculous, I literally lie in bed on Sunday nights saying a mantra, its not you its the booze. Every tiny problem is magnified into a major unsolvable issue.
I havent had a drink in a month, was NYE before that, for no particular reason only that the low is lower than the high at this stage and booze will be saved for special occasions from now on. Ever notice the hangover is never as bad after a āgreatā night out like a good friends wedding or a good gig. I think the low kicks in after nights where you drink for the sake of it. Id be the last fella to lecture someone about booze as I was borderline problem for many years in my early twenties, lost years that I now bitterly regret, I was lucky in that I snapped out of it somewhat but in hindsignt I think I would have got where I am now years earlier if I had never drank and that thought is sobering. You ever think of knocking it on its head? Hard in this country I know. But I would say it is a massive contributor in a massive amount of deaths in this country both suicide and road accident and serious illnesses etc.
Keep talking about it mate, things are never as bad once they are out of your mouth. Im sure even if your friends mightnt say it its probably lightening their load too to know they are not the only ones with problems; because no matter what it looks like from the outside EVERYONE has their pressure points and EVERYONE needs help and support at times.
Nobody ever dies of suicide in this country, they die āsuddenlyā. If I ever top myself Iāll leave the death notice written out verbatim so thereāll be no euphemisms and that sort of bullshit. The church denouncing them for years didnāt help on the stigma front either, thereās still a big element of that. Wasnāt poor Seanie in The Field buried on unhallowed ground as he wasnāt allowed to be buried in the church yard. The amount of people topping themselves at the moment is shocking though, I seem to come across one about once a month at least. Never makes the papers of course but if Iām coming across that much in my small circle then whatās happening across the country that we never hear about? As for selfishness, I donāt think successful suicide victims are selfish to be honest, theyāre just taking control of their own fcuked up life and leaving this mortal coil for good. The poor bastards just canāt take it any more and in some instances itās hard to blame them. Once that melancholy madness falls upon you itās very hard to think rationally.
Excellent work there lads, very well explained. Ye are braver than most of the tools on here who like to act like they are real men and have great lives etc etc.
Personally i thank the people involved in GAA who brought me up along for being alive today, or at beast not seriously fucked up and a complete drunk/addict. I could very easily have gone down a bad road in my late teens, but i pulled myself away from it due in the main to having a purpose and people who were going to push me. If i was completely to my own devices at that time iād have been fucked. Looking back some of the lads around me were just as fucked, and then some of them had their head so screwed on its unbelievable.
I used to get very depressed after drink and your problems do become insurmountable, and like Dan i regret a couple of years there where going out was the be all and end all. Iām glad though at the same time i am not like that at all anymore and other things come far higher up the list.
Talking is key as the lads mention. I was very lucky to have a friend, a female, who is a professional in mental health treatment and i would offload an awful lot of stuff to her over the years. It was without doubt a massive help. I think when you get over a certain age and you start thinking about having a family etc things change an awful lot. You are not as self absorbed for one and think more about others and what you do and how your actions will affect them.
Just opened up the Herald from Thursday there on the bog and saw a fella in Tallaght shot himself too this week. Thatās 3 in the papers in a week, that Iāve heard about. Thatās madness.
Fair play to you Sidney, I could probably have written almost the exact same post to be honest with you.
Drink in this country causes terrible damage, Iād say it costs the country way more than the revenue it generates
Have laid off it significantly in the past few months- lifeās too short for the hangovers and the horrors
The volume and frequency of it that we drink here is the main thing- having lived through the excess of the Celtic Tiger I wonder did people drink as much as frequently in the past? People had the money I suppose which alllowed them, the atmosphere around them encouraged it; but it always left you with an empty feeling- like if this was all life was about then it was going to be a fairly empty existence. Combine the pressures of work, trying to keep up with people around you, finances and its not surprising that lads felt alone. Today lads have no jobs, no money and are under real pressure- if you canāt see a way out then suicide is probably an option that they consider. But Iām not certain that there is any one easy cure for this.
The only bit of research that I know of suggests that men are better off in a relationship, they feel happier and live longer and donāt commit suicide
I know of a few cases where the person who was actually committing suicide was not the person who died.
For instance a mate of mine owed money to the IRA and didnāt pay them back. The IRA actually sent a man around to commit suicide on my mate, but he escaped.
WBY, i understand what you are saying about drink causing huge social probalems in ireland but i simply cannot sympathise at all with what you say there.
i have never felt like that after drinking, the worst its ever been with me has been a sore head or a sick stomach but ive always thought that was par for the course after a night out.
a few lads on here now have given accounts of the blues caused by drinking but jesus i have to wonder exactly how much it is you would need to be drinking to get to that stage? yessterday i played a soccer match in the morning and a hurling game an hour later, i went out last night with a few lads to the boozer to watch the waterford match ( just an excuse to go drinking really) , had six pints, 3 marlboro lights and home after that, this morning i woke up and felt a bit wooly allright and in pain from the games but after a cup of tea, a bit of grub and a few bets i was right as rain and sat down to watch the athletics on TV for the afternoon, i certainly didnt feel depressed or self loathing or anything and will probably repeat the same process next weekend, simply because i want to and i love the craic in the pub when theres a game / racing on the box.
does anyone else feel like this?
i always can never understand when i hear lads saying they are going āoffā the drink, FFS by doing this you are only putting it on a pedestal that it is something bad, avoid it at all costs and feel you are doing yourself penance and then do a blowout a few weeks later that lasts for a few daysā¦
if i want to have a few pints i have a few, if i dont i dont bother, its a take it or leave it thing really, i could never imagine been addicted to the stuff, but if i thought it was depressing me i would drop it in a flash
Mickee, not sure anyone is talking about being depressed after drinking 6 pints the night before. In fact Id be grand personally no mater how much I drank, if I was only out one night. But if I went out two nights in a row a dose of the FEAR will definitely be there. Not sure if your taking the piss really because you seem like an intelligent enough fella most of the time, and it is relatively common knowledge I would have thought that alcohol is a depressant.
im not talking the piss Dan at all ( pardon the pun) this is not really a thread for doing that and i know that alchohol is a depressant .
i just never really had the desire to drink huge volume of the stuff really and i cant understand why anyone would if they knew it would result in say 2-3 days of depression.
thats all
Fair enough. You are smarter than most so, because it took me ten years or so to come to that conclusion. Point being, if everyone had as much cop on as you do on the topic neither alcohol nor suicide would be quite the issue they currently are.
Since xmas this year Iāve noticed Iāve been getting more and more depressed after a night on the liquor.
Iād say itās something that comes on as you get older, because I always drank with a group that was 3-5 older than me, and they used to often be on about the depression/paranoia from booze, but it never bothered me until recently.
i went through a rough time a few years back and in the months that followed I dreamt a few times that I had killed myself, but I never actually thought about it when lucid, it only ever happened in my ādreamsā.
People drink to excess as a form of escapism. They me be in a job they hate, having personal problems etc. The depression that is brought on by this drinking coupled with what they are escaping from can be the straw that breaks the camels back for a lot of men and women.
There is a massive correlation between recessions and uptake of fitness. Here people use running to escape their problems and has the positive impact of releashing endorphins. Alcohal has the opposite effect.
If we could get people using positive forms of escapism it would have positive social consequences.
i suppose thats the key thing,
why do we drink at all in the first place?
i drink as i find it relaxing and like the banter but yes i suppuse the ājesus id love a few pints feelingā that i had last night is an escapism of sorts but also something id look forward to after the week.
i suppose ive never felt the need to drink to numb any problems that i have, the girlfriend gets that and she is brilliant, i have no probem saying it on here but last year i had to get a serious operation as a result of repeated sinus infections over the years that almost resulted in me loosing the sight in one of my eyes, thank god it didnt happen and im fine now but i must admit i dont know where id have been if i didnt have herself as there were a few low moments with all the worrying and what-ifs,
i suppose for me the way to get it off my chest was to pick up the phone and call her, i suppose other lads would reach for a bottleā¦