Isolation is truly awful
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That was my initial reaction when I saw funeral notice. And then I went darker and said he had been putting it off until after she passed away but @habanerocat confirmed it was more the broken heart. The poor fella and his family
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I think in future decades we will see a significant increase in isolation and thus an increase in suicide among older people. Marriage break up is more common. Marriage itself is becoming less common. People are having less children.
Rural isolation must be particularly bad. At least in cities you have services, places to go, shops, public transport etc., things which enable connections, interests.
Conversely, the hyper-connected nature of society that technology has heralded also leads to an increase in isolation, and I think particularly among younger people, and younger peopleās lack of a rounded frame of reference to contextualise the difficulties of life exacerbates isolation. Technology tends to make human bonds shallower and more transient.
For older people, it is the departure of a way of life that brings isolation. For younger people, it is the hyper-connected nature of technology and the disenchantment that leads to, and/or the increased economic barriers to building a life, that leads to failing to build a life, that leads to severely unfulfilled expectations, that leads to isolation. The younger period in life is key. If you fall behind then, you stay fallen behind.
Life is about people. Isolation denies you people.
My belief is that suicide itself is increasingly seen as an option in society in general. General discussion of mental ill-health is largely spoken about in passive terms. This denies agency to the individual. In all cases, the individual has to want to get better and without a wish to get better they will never get better. In most cases, suicide is absolutely not the correct option, especially where the individual still has the time and the health to build a life. But again conversely, suicide may sometimes be the correct option for some people. Sometimes things are just too hard and people are correct to see the future as too difficult, too painful, and too pointless.
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That is just awful. The poor man.
As @balbec said he worked in the hospital and was a well liked outgoing fellow. The mother went into the hospital two weeks ago and he took time off. So it was a huge shock when the news came out. Those two weeks must have taken their toll.
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Nobody can call it from the outside. There are no ācorrectā or āincorrectā calls. What exists are individual lives, all completely unique, that cannot be seen in terms of internal processing.
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The poor divil.
Word on the street is that "accident " at junction 12 this morning was a suicide
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I agree with a lot of that. However, I am very content in my own company. I would rather be on my own than with people for the most part.
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I find it very hard to deal with crowds of people I know. Anything more than four people and I struggle Massively.
On Saturday thereās an event on for all my friends and I havenāt a notion of going.
Itās causing massive issues over Christmas Too with my family as they donāt really understand it. I love my own space and time to myself.
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I wonder if thatās your job in part. You get sick of the sound of your own voice and prefer not to talk
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I agree with a lot of that too.
As I become older & less cynical*, Iām becoming more social democratty/laboury in my outlook. Thriving community-led initiatives & groups, I think, are really important to counteract isolation.
It can be mainstream/traditional stuff like the local GGA club or a church committee or more contemporary yokes but the more outlets for people to interact & find some friendship the better.
I kinda see it in things like parkrun locally, volunteering at the event itself every week followed by a coffee & chat afterwards gets some older sorts out & about & has become a valued part of their week. Thereās also a community garden nearby & thereās usually a group in there pottering around. Those two examples are free things but funding for these type of groups is needed & for stuff that caters for as many ages & interests as possible.
@Little_Lord_Fauntleroy has a very important role to play here too. Iām not sure what a 15-minute city is but Iāve seen & heard the term bandied about. I was reading some stuff in the Irish Times lately (Keith Duggan had an article in the weekend magazine on Ireland being a lonely country for many) & planning & construction was cited as a contributory factor in some follow up letters to the editor.
Sprawling estates on the edges of towns with no ancillary facilities, one off houses on roadsides down the bog etc. We need to build up high in towns & cities (cc @flattythehurdler) & then have all the cafes, playgrounds, community hubs etc around them. Cunts can wander outside their apartment & sit outside having a coffee & next thing it becomes a regular coffee meet up for auld lads etc. We need more of that kind of thing & extra cycle lanes.
*I reserve my cynicism for Ryan Tubridy & the likes.
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Nothing at all wrong with enjoying your own company, doing night security is bliss if you are that way inclined especially after years of retail.
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I hate crowds and noise. Had a panic attack at the last (non-lesbian) wedding I was at and couldnāt leave the room.
I love being on my own for the most part. My favourite holiday destinations are wide open spaces where few other people go.
But I think itās always good to maintain contact with people. When you lose that it can be hard to get it back
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I think thereās a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. As with so much how you internalize it has a real effect, especially health wise. I like a good mix, splendid isolation in beautiful unpopulated countryside (very hard to get in Europe) mixed with the odd social occasion, pints, house party etc. Fuck Iād hate to be a people pleaser. Important to limit access to instagram and the like, less you start thinking avoiding codependency is in someway missing out.
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Good points. I finally got to Utah a month ago, felt 20 years younger after a few days driving and ambling there. Amazing place.
On your second point, itās kinda scary how losing touch can creep up. Lads you used to regularly talk to and all of a sudden two years go by.
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Ya I wouldnāt be the best to stay in contact with a lot of people bar 2 or 3 of my closest friends.
I was up early today for the Japan cup but I simply canāt wait for the nfl, football manager and a few cups of tea tonight.
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Utah is my favourite place on earth. Itās awesome.
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Tea is fucking great.
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It is. I gave up sugar this summer and itās not the same now.