Suicide

[Malarkey]

@Thornhill

I just found my best friend tonight. Don’t know why he did it. Just stunned and devastated. Spend the evening in his home with the guards and emergency services but he was dead with a couple of days. Just back from the mortuary now. I was there with his dad and mam. I’ll never forget seeing him. I suppose the only thing about it was I found him and not his poor father.
Just sitting here in the kitchen now with my wife and we are in bits over him. We loved him so much. I have a letter here from him that I don’t know can I ever read.
I am just all over the place over him.

So sorry to read such a tragic story. Keep as well as you can.

He clearly thought an enormous amount of you. Hence the letter. I hope that element provides a sliver of comfort in time.

[Corksfinedtboy]

It’s v hard to come to terms with,friend of old rang me last night and informed me that there were 6 drug related deaths(suicides mostly) in recent weeks in Bishopstown Cork,
A leafy suburb where you’d think all was ok looking in,no one knows,
My friend who was paramedic both in Cork and Dublin and who’s brother still at it here says not a week goes by locally that there’s not at least 1 suicide,
Be it mental health,drugs , relationship break ups, financial strain,family court etc etc etc
List is endless,
It’s just sooooo bloody sad

[TheUlteriorMotive]

Really sorry to hear this. Horrible for you. Mind yourself and maybe chat to somebody when you feel able.

[FatChops]

Whatever road you take in life, lads, keep your head up. We make mistakes. We fuck things up. No matter.

Put your two feet under you, pay no mind to the drama of others and you’re well on your way.

[Onthesod]

That’s horrific lad. My condolences to you, the demons (whatever they were) that tormented his soul are now gone, may he eternally RIP

[iron_mike]

Just catching up on this now. So sorry for your loss

[wexico14]

@Thornhill Sorry to hear that lad.

[Thornhill]

Thanks very much for all the reply’s and messages. It hasn’t gone unnoticed. And I do greatly appreciate every one of them.

This coming weekend will be his months mind.

[BruidheanChaorthainn]

I hope you’re doing ok boss.

[Thornhill]

Ah I am and I am not. Keeping busy sorting out his stuff and house to make sure it’s ok. Once the death certificate comes through I will help with sorting out his banking, mortgage and stuff like that. Need to find out had he a will (I don’t think he did), or even a solicitor. Half the time I’d say I am away with the fairies or in denial or other times in ribbons.

[Julio_Geordio]

@Thornhill

Ah I am and I am not. Keeping busy sorting out his stuff and house to make sure it’s ok. Once the death certificate comes through I will help with sorting out his banking, mortgage and stuff like that. Need to find out had he a will (I don’t think he did), or even a solicitor. Half the time I’d say I am away with the fairies or in denial or other times in ribbons.

Very sorry for what you are going through mate.

If he had a will it is most likely with the solicitor who sorted the mortgage for him. They will generally recommend you write a will once you’ve bought a house. Someone might know who looked after that, or it might be on documents about the house

[caulifloweredneanderthal]

If you get a chance at some stage, maybe talk to a professional? That seems an awful lot to carry. Hope you’ve got people around you looking out for you as well. You can’t deal with it all on your own.

[maurice_brown]

@Thornhill good advice here. Adrenaline, love, duty and your own soundness is keeping you going right now but this is a situation forced upon you, nobody expects or is prepared for what you are doing. So just take a hour or so out of the week for yourself. You deserve it

[TheUlteriorMotive]

[Thornhill]

Yesterday was 3 months to the date. Every day still I break down over him. Several times a day to be honest. You’d miss him so much. Weekends are a killer, the worst tbh. That’s when we were always together, either going for breakfast, a walk, a match or mostly the few pints. We were lucky as the wife’s and partners left us off as we were doing it too long to bother changing us.
I’ve lost other friends and family before but this is by far and a long way the toughest. It’s the toughest thing I have ever done. I have stopped going to his house every day now because I know he is no longer there. All his stuff is moved or gone. His soul is gone out of the place. We have must of the stuff from our end sorted with his affairs for his parents, so at least that’s a weight off their minds.
I need to pull myself together now and start getting back into things. But I can’t motivate myself at all. I have put on over a stone weight. From eating rubbish and comfort eating I suppose. I thought I’d lose weight tbh as I don’t go out much at all anymore. I can’t drink now anyway as I get too emotional and while everyone is unreal and understanding there is only so much of a fella whinging away you can inflict on people. Stupid things set me off. I was older than him for the first time ever a few weeks ago. For some reason that small little thing really hit me.
I think I am actually grand over what he did, how he did it how I found him. It’s just I cannot get over not having around. It’s 3 months so it’s not that long and everyone tells me it will get easier or you will cope better as time goes by.

[gilgamboa]

Sounds like an unbelievable friendship you had. No wonder you’re hurting. Don’t be too hard on yourself

[Massey]

That’s tough lad.And it’s going to be tough for a long time unfortunately.I had the same kind of relationship with poor old @Atticus_Finch .It was actually his anniversary the other day,14 years gone.I still think about him all the time.His nephew and my young lad are on the same hurling/football/soccer teams.What I wouldn’t give for us to be standing on the sidelines watching them play together.Time is the only healer here unfortunately.You cam PM me if you want if you need a chat.Mind yourself.

[Mac]

Everything you’re going through is completely normal. Everyone deals with situations like this in different ways. The fact you’re willing to tell a load of lads you’ve never met or know, how you feel is a sign you’re doing better than you probably realize.

My advice would be go and chat with someone who is professionally qualified to help you. You’ll get tonnes of advice and well wishes from all of us here but it’s merely based on what we think from our own experience and what we’ve lived through.

[Smark]

I think you said at the time he left you a letter, not trying to intrude or find out the contents but did you draw any small bit of comfort from that? You had some friendship with him from the descriptions you’ve put forward.