Iâm sorry brian. Iâm gay and suicidal and I donât know what to do. Can you advise me please?
:rolleyes:
Better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfiedâŚ
There is a difference between being thick and ill-informed or uneducated.
[quote=âElvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 884265, member: 1624â]Just back online ( and Iâve had a drop) but some excellent observations made here by @farmerinthecity[/USER] @[USER=183]Sidney[/USER] and @[USER=179]artfoley.
Great value in the piece posted by @Mark Renton also.
Itâs refreshing to see this discussion being treated in a constructive manner. (I know, cue the inevitable idiot reply)
The material thing is very interesting and may well be a far greater factor in mental health issues in this country than is currently recognised. Iâd have a slightly different angle thoughâŚ
I donât think itâs a question of envy, craving or attainment. Materialism and apparent well-being has become the lowest common denominator in the established perception of oneâs status in Ireland. As has been correctly pointed out, attainment in itself can be a greater curse than blessing, in that one is now grouped with the âsuccessfulâ and in that particular stratum a major issue can arise.
Iâm blessed to say that I want for little. I have a wife and children I adore but I donât compare myself to anybody. In fact, most of my peers, or those who would class themselves as same, utterly irritate me. Most have little in common with me, as Iâm basically a very simple chap, but the emphasis that others place on materialism really gets to me. It can be down to small things like them talking about family events and holidays, new gadgets or possessions. Everything seems to be a competition or comparison as to how theirs was/is better. A better deal, a better gizmo, a better experience.
We all have good days and bad days. We all get lucky sometimes and all get screwed sometimes. We all play the hero and the martyr.
I just donât think we should be imposing values on others. It has consequences far beyond comprehension.
You guys mentioned at the top are doing good. Keep doing it.[/quote]
Outstanding post. You have some of the things I want though, but not in a jealous way, the wife and the kids. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have no doubt Iâll marry, but the irony of being with her is it shows me how unhappy I was at other times in the past with other people.
Btw, do you really dislike any of your mates girlfriends/wives? And how do you deal with that. I find quite a few of my friends female partners as sneaky materialistic fake idiots, how do you or anyone approach that?
Thatâs not what you were saying a while back.
Ah Jesus.
[quote=âcaoimhaoin, post: 884349, member: 273â]Outstanding post. You have some of the things I want though, but not in a jealous way, the wife and the kids. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have no doubt Iâll marry, but the irony of being with her is it shows me how unhappy I was at other times in the past with other people.
Btw, do you really dislike any of your mates girlfriends/wives? And how do you deal with that. I find quite a few of my friends female partners as sneaky materialistic fake idiots, how do you or anyone approach that?[/quote]
Is the problem spending time with them or youâre worried your mates will get stuck with them?
Them being there. Itâs too late on most fronts of my mates being with them. Itâs actually a hang up I have about going home. I can see one or two acting the cunt with my lady friend too. Thatâs probably my main concern. They have always been there, but I just ignore them generally. Apparently itâs pretty obvious I have no time for one or two, but thatâs not fair either, on my mates.
[quote=âfarmerinthecity, post: 884353, member: 24â]Thatâs not what you were saying a while back.
:D[/quote]
Wahay!
It was supposed to be a joke
Bitch about them behind their backs to your other mates.
Then have a few pints.
Thatâs the Irish way.
Sure all you can do is carry on as you are. If you catch them acting the cunt with your lady friend then call it. Otherwise do your best to stay in touch with your friends, theyâll either respond or youâll lose touch with them. Circle of life. One of my best friends was going out with an awful cunt for a long time who isolated him from a lot of his friends but luckily sheâs gone now the cunt. He knew we didnât get on but what can you do, just avoid socialising with the wife or girlfriend.
Well I didnât hear anybody laughing. Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom. Beep. Honk. Honk. Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze.
[quote=âcaoimhaoin, post: 884349, member: 273â]Outstanding post. You have some of the things I want though, but not in a jealous way, the wife and the kids. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have no doubt Iâll marry, but the irony of being with her is it shows me how unhappy I was at other times in the past with other people.
Btw, do you really dislike any of your mates girlfriends/wives? And how do you deal with that. I find quite a few of my friends female partners as sneaky materialistic fake idiots, how do you or anyone approach that?[/quote]
I suppose I tolerate them Kev. Itâs probably wrong on my part as maybe theyâre genuinely happy but that isnât what annoys me. I honestly donât wish them any ill but I just donât enjoy their company.
Thereâll be a sense of keeping the peace for my wifeâs sake. In fairness, most of them are always nice to me but I know they look on me as an oddball because I donât get excited easily and take pleasure in simple things. I know it intimidates them but thatâs not what Iâm trying to achieve.
Youâre correct in saying that they appear to be materialistic and fake. I usually take relief in letting fly with the odd barbed comment and I know Iâm wrong to do so as a facade built on sand collapses easily.
The materialism thing really gets me though. There seems to be a belief that you should act and attain in a preset manner when youâre successful in your 40âs. Bollocks to that. When I was 22 and hadnât a pot to piss in it didnât bother me in the slightest. Obviously, now that I have a wife and two children depending on me, the perspective changes but the principles remain the same.
[quote=âElvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 884368, member: 1624â]I suppose I tolerate them Kev. Itâs probably wrong on my part as maybe theyâre genuinely happy but that isnât what annoys me. I honestly donât wish them any ill but I just donât enjoy their company.
Thereâll be a sense of keeping the peace for my wifeâs sake. In fairness, most of them are always nice to me but I know they look on me as an oddball because I donât get excited easily and take pleasure in simple things. I know it intimidates them but thatâs not what Iâm trying to achieve.
Youâre correct in saying that they appear to be materialistic and fake. I usually take relief in letting fly with the odd barbed comment and I know Iâm wrong to do so as a facade built on sand collapses easily.
The materialism thing really gets me though. There seems to be a belief that you should act and attain in a preset manner when youâre successful in your 40âs. Bollocks to that. When I was 22 and hadnât a pot to piss in it didnât bother me in the slightest. Obviously, now that I have a wife and two children depending on me, the perspective changes but the principles remain the same.[/quote]
Although I can see him still
The freckled man who goes
To a gray place on a hill
In gray Connemara clothes
At dawn to cast his flies
Itâs long since I began
To call up to the eyes
This wise and simple man.
[quote=âcaoimhaoin, post: 884349, member: 273â]Outstanding post. You have some of the things I want though, but not in a jealous way, the wife and the kids. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I have no doubt Iâll marry, but the irony of being with her is it shows me how unhappy I was at other times in the past with other people.
Btw, do you really dislike any of your mates girlfriends/wives? And how do you deal with that. I find quite a few of my friends female partners as sneaky materialistic fake idiots, how do you or anyone approach that?[/quote]
as someone who is married to a jew id be confident the lads at home would never think this about me
good discussion this, ill throw up a decent post later when i have time as my credit card has just gone missing again
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of â99.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it ⌠the most interesting people I know didnât know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still donât.
Re @caomhaoin 's point: as far as I can tell, thereâs some seriously fucked up women out there. Maybe they were always like that, and it wasnât so apparent, but the onset of social media has drawn them out in huge numbers.
Not just young wans either but women my age (30-35) attention seeking all over Facebook and Twitter with their pouts and tits hanging out in picture after picture. Some post these profound quotes and life messages in one breath and are then obsessing about some reality tv controversy in the next.
Itâs harmless enough in the grand scheme of things but I personally couldnât be dealing with that level of sheer inanity/stupidity. What would you talk about? Iâd have completely no interest in hanging around with them. They just seem to lack intelligence and are insecure or something.
Of course, itâs wrong to say all women are like that. I understand that there are some normal ones out there.
This is kind of office topic now I think about it.
@caoimhaoin - its a fact of life. Your mates will end up with women you donât particularly like but at the end of the day once theyâre happy do you really care? They may think the same about your missus but unless the woman involved is making the fellaâs life hell then is it really a problem? If the woman is pissing off other women then just tell your one to give her a wide berth. Iâm sure sheâll find others who think the same and naturally fit better with them.
Woeful stuff from hooknose, im sure fran, art, gman and gola will be pissed off mac thinks their birds are cunts