Oh dear going down on one doesn’t sound good at all.
A few years ago in Estonia, word reached the lads that two of our number had been to a cracking little place where they don’t charge a whole lot (relatively, I suppose). So the next night we were all pissed up and 2 of the lads bowled up to what was basically someone’s gaff. Knock on the door and some auld lad goes “sex?” and they all answered in the affirmative, so he led them into the living room. It was a huge living room and in the corner was a step up to a jacuzzi. Apparently this is where they expect the punters to “warm up” so our lads whipped off the lot and hopped in. The two birds appeared from another room, two good-looking blonde sorts, but instead of going straight over to the lads and giving them a seeing to, they sat down, lit up, and began watching the Estonian version of Fair City. Being hammered, the lads shrugged their shoulders, and began chatting away about football as you do. The conversation apparently got around to the FA Cup finals of 1988 and 1989, and the lads started arguing over which was Wimbledon’s year. After about 20 minutes of this kind of carry-on a bit of perspective was swiftly brought into the conversation. Sitting in a brothel in the old town in Tallinn, in a jacuzzi, talking about 80s cup finals while the brazers watch the telly, and being charged for the privilege. So the birds were summoned and they led the boys into a room with nothing but two beds and a sink. Cracking away on the saddle having necked half a viagra jelly each, and what does one lad decide to do only carry on the FA Cup final argument. This went on for about 15 minutes, and was swiftly followed by a fit of giggles, which combined with surprising stamina, severely pissed off the prossies, and they demanded the curtain be pulled down on proceedings. One lad had done his bit, the other soldiered on for another 5 minutes but it was no use, the giggles wouldn’t stop. They were unceremoniously kicked out of the gaff and to this day they probably dread the return of the Irish perverts.