Thats some feckin story Sledge
[quote=“Bandage”]Is it not against the law to go abroad and not use them?
cesc4’s story was indeed a belter. His mate was boasting to all the lads about what he did with the skank and proclaimed without a hint of embarrassment that he’d gone down on her. It was almost as if he was proud of it or maybe he thought it was the norm. Anyway, the bunch of lads immediately ripped him to shreds but he still couldn’t see what was wrong with it. Even the thought of it is sick - she’d probably taken a few dozen dicks already that night and yer man’s down there munching away. Scumbag.[/quote]
well fuck you any way bandage you are more or less after robbing my story…bastard…
have another one but not really about a brothel but here it goes…a few of us went to kilkenny on the beer a couple of months ago…after the night club one of them auld romanian ones in her 50s with fuck all teeth came up to my friend selling flowers…chap being a smart fucker full of drink thought it would be funny to ask how much for a blowjob…the romanian replied 60 euro, chap thinking your one was playing along having the craic decided to haggle and offered 20…they settled on 30…so next thing he pulled 30 euro out to call her bluff she grabbed the money out of his and and caught him by the wrist and brought him down an alley way and fulfilled her part of the contract…chap maintains it was the best 30 quid he ever spend(he also maintains that a blowjob by a bird with no teeth is the job too)
Outstanding brothel banter.
i loves it…another friend of mine spent 300 euro in one without getting so much as a wank…a prossie aproached him and as him to buy her a drink…he agreed as it is accepted brothel etiquette…she asked for a baileys…as chap was steamed to the neck he asked the barman how many girls were working he said 8 so chap told him give them all a drink and have one himself…turns out the baileys was around 34 euro a go…
Three lads went to watch some cricket at Old Trafford,they took coolers full of beer in readiness of a good day out,anyway the game was rained off so they proceeded to finish of the beer and realised they were at a loose end for the rest of the day.Someone suggested a massage parlour in Stretford so off they trot.
They arrived at said place and discovered only one brass was on duty so they drew straws to decide the order of entry.Two of the lads had their do on the skank and the last fella went in and asked the bird “Can i go down on you?” She said “But your two mates have just dumped their lump in me!!”
He said “I don’t give a fuck” and started licking.
You dirty tramp Kilduff.
I love the way all these stories are about ‘mates’…
I never, ever, ever realised folk actually went down on brassers. Sick individuals. I’m still aghast at the lad getting a blowie off the old Romanian gypsy woman too. Fooking hell.
For the day that’s in it… not really that funny but a warning to innocents and naive punters like Farmer. Was in Budapest this one time with Cojak and Brother of Appendage. And brother of currently future wife.
Went into this joint called Nirvana for some late pints. Was an incredibly rotten strip joint/brothel type spot. Ignoring this we sat down and ordered a round. Strippers/hookers duly arrived - rotten beyond belief. They started making small talk and we said fook off and send the bill for the drinks. Hungarian equivalent of 200 for 2 Heinos and a coke. We had no money, offered them 20 squid while walking out. They went ballistic so we ended up in a fight with the bouncers and me getting frog marched to the nearest ATM to take out the cash. All the while, Cojak - who had taken some tremendous slaps - was getting indignant and insisting on calling the cops. In fairness head bouncer took out his mobile and rang his crooked cop buddy who arrived, laughed at us and told us to fook off.
Was scared shitless to be fair, swore we’d never go back to strip joint in Budapest. A promise which lasted until the next night.
Thank God those days are over…
A friend of a friend went down on an Asian hooker too over in Taiwan. Dirty fooker. The same lad had a lady of the night in his gaff another night. After ridin the box off of her he sat up in the bed and lit up; asked her to do a dance for him at the end of the bed. When she was throwing the few shapes he started singing “your me private dancer”. True story, laughin away to myself thinking about it.
Spent my Honeymoon in Koi Samui in Thailand, couldn’t get over the sex trade over there. Culture shock to say the least, but that’s some peoples buzz. Met a shopkeeper from my hometown out there. Single guy, 40 something, short, stubby, no bird at home. Over for the hows your father. Why not I suppose. Not my thing but then I’m not going to lecture anyone…
[quote=“Appendage”]For the day that’s in it… not really that funny but a warning to innocents and naive punters like Farmer. Was in Budapest this one time with Cojak and Brother of Appendage. And brother of currently future wife.
Went into this joint called Nirvana for some late pints. Was an incredibly rotten strip joint/brothel type spot. Ignoring this we sat down and ordered a round. Strippers/hookers duly arrived - rotten beyond belief. They started making small talk and we said fook off and send the bill for the drinks. Hungarian equivalent of 200 for 2 Heinos and a coke. We had no money, offered them 20 squid while walking out. They went ballistic so we ended up in a fight with the bouncers and me getting frog marched to the nearest ATM to take out the cash. All the while, Cojak - who had taken some tremendous slaps - was getting indignant and insisting on calling the cops. In fairness head bouncer took out his mobile and rang his crooked cop buddy who arrived, laughed at us and told us to fook off.
Was scared shitless to be fair, swore we’d never go back to strip joint in Budapest. A promise which lasted until the next night.
Thank God those days are over…[/quote]
Apparently this happens all the time. Run by the Hungarian mafia. Been over there a few times but have stayed away from such places. Same practice in Prague. Stay well clear…
Nah, the ones in Prague are grand…apparently.
Christ I feel very naive after reading this thread. Some of this lark you’d expect but the one that got me was the Romanian flower seller in Kilkenny.
Great snapshot of this forum at the momen. Top thread is “Tales from the brothel?” and the next thread down is about the cabinet reshuffle. A diverse bunch.
I know of a friend of a friend who went down on a brasser he picked up on Benburb Street. Don’t get much worse than that.
This is really Tinnion’s story but I’m going to tell it anyway. Tinnion’s mate pulled a Welsh slapper (not whore) when he was at the France New Zealand match in the World Cup in Cardiff. Apparently he disappeared with her and after a while another one of the lads went back to the place they were staying, He heard shouting coming from yer mans room so he had a peek. There was yer man on all fours with the bird slapping him on the arse saying ‘Say your name, Say your name’, which he duly obliged. His name was a long horrible name - something like Roger Twilligier which added to the comic effect…
The thought of riding a brasser makes me ill personally when you think of the fookin latchikos that have been in said saddle before you. What kind of depraved fookers go down on one…a lower strata of human being no doubt about it.
Few years ago we were all in Cardiff for a rugby game, lads decided we go to the brassers. I refused point blank and myself and a few other normal not sex deprived fellas went back to the hotel. When the lads came back they were pissing themselves…they had gone in and one of the lads was locked, really locked…they had to bring him to the brothel weekend at bernies style he was so drunk. They plonked him down in the packed waiting room and he was snoring away in the midst of a load of pissed up welsh and irish punters. the ladies brought the capable fellas in the group into another room and while they were waaiting for there birds they were laughing away at the misfortune snoring away outside. A half hour later when they were leaving they went out to pick up the drunk lad and found him in the kitchen of the gaff with a few of the hoors having a cup of tea and a fag. Turned out hed woken up and had no idea where the fook he was, imagine waking up in a small room with a load of pissed up welsh and irish rugby fans with no idea where your mates are gone.
When he woke he got a big round of applause and the randomers in there were takin the piss big time and they wouldnt tell him where he was, he started crying anyways a mixture of fear/shame and the realisation that he had pissed himself whilst snoozing. He wandered around until the brassers found him felt sorry for him and gave him a cup of tea to calm him down, to say he was disorientated doesnt even cover it!!!
Sure when the lads found him they nearly had to ring an ambulance for them they were laughing so much at this misfortune covered in piss tears and snot getting mothered by a bunch of skanks in tacky lingerie. He hasnt been allowed to foreget it and is now known as pimp. As an aside the same fela hasnt come on an away trip since, that was 2005.
Some quality tales on this thread.
[quote=“Locke”]
Met a shopkeeper from my hometown out there. Single guy, 40 something, short, stubby, no bird at home. Over for the hows your father. Why not I suppose. Not my thing but then I’m not going to lecture anyone…[/quote]
Initials J.B. no doubt?
On the money beargrylls. In fairness to the guy, think he was over there with a trade delegation for penny sweets or something…totally legit…
[quote=“The Puke”]well fuck you any way bandage you are more or less after robbing my story…bastard…
have another one but not really about a brothel but here it goes…a few of us went to kilkenny on the beer a couple of months ago…after the night club one of them auld romanian ones in her 50s with fuck all teeth came up to my friend selling flowers…chap being a smart fucker full of drink thought it would be funny to ask how much for a blowjob…the romanian replied 60 euro, chap thinking your one was playing along having the craic decided to haggle and offered 20…they settled on 30…so next thing he pulled 30 euro out to call her bluff she grabbed the money out of his and and caught him by the wrist and brought him down an alley way and fulfilled her part of the contract…chap maintains it was the best 30 quid he ever spend(he also maintains that a blowjob by a bird with no teeth is the job too)[/quote]
found out this evening that the lad from this story was also the same lad that caused the big row above in the tipp tearrace at the munster final sunday…what a fucking legend…
Super thread… Just what i needed to get me through the end of a long night shift…
Who the fuck goes down on a hooker though!! sick bastards need locking up.
Oh he’s a good lad that one, a real fucking keeper!