Tales from the brothel?

You friends with a Tipp lad Puke?
How’d the row start as I knew one of the lads involved too but can’t seem to get word from him since.

[quote=“Pikeman”]You friends with a Tipp lad Puke?
How’d the row start as I knew one of the lads involved too but can’t seem to get word from him since.[/quote]

sure I am situated on the limerick/tipp/clare border about 6 miles from killaloe…friends with plenty of tipp lads went to school with a good few of them and for the most part they are sound apart from the few dickheads…

in fairness to the lad that started the row he is one of the soundest lads you would meet and he is fair craic…I have gone abroad to a fair few ireland and munster matches with him and he wouldn’t cause trouble…unless you took him up the wrong way…allegedly the row started because he saw a load of staunch tipp lads ahead of him so he decided to start slagging a few of the tipp hurlers and singing my lovely rose of clare (strange considering he is a tipp man wearinga tipp jersey)

The Germans as usual have the right way of doing it. Any visit to Frunkfurt will tell you that all the brothels and strip clubs have cash points in the places. In the turkish part of town the lads told me that a whole office block was taken over by these naughty ladies. Now thats efficiency.

The only time i was in one was in Liverpool. When asked by ‘‘Caprice’’ - How do you want to do this? i replied, ’ Up the ass’. She threw her eyes up to heaven and said ‘What is it with you Irish and the ass, i meant me or you on top’!!

I put her on top and fell asleep twice to be woken with gentle slaps on the face. I quickly sobered up however when she threatend to put an end to the activities.

There must have been about 12 Irish lads in the brothel that night including two huns who were sound out… the Pro’s however were of Wayne Rooney Vintage, nearing retirement. But all in all , far superior to a wank at that hour.

Best Brothel Banter thread I have ever read.

Excellent discussion.

I was in college with a lad who had a fierce gr for prostimitutes. Before he ever frequented a whorehouse he came up with a plan that would stand up to any value for money audit: he decided that he’d try blow his muck as subtely as possible (how I’m not sure) and if his ‘host’ tried to move he’d say ‘hang on just gimme a minute I’m not done’, keeping his Johnson inside and thinking sexy thoughts until he was upright again and ready to complete Transaction Number 2. He claims it worked once.

Another favourite of his was to say at the beginning of the enterprise ‘my cock is gonna puke all over you’

Timeless.

Any activity on this front of late gents?? Puke, Dunph how goes the Railway hotel??

You wouldn’t have bumped this thread back up to page 1 unless there was something gnawing at you, something you want to get off your chest, something you want to tell your internet friends. Spill.

Heading to liverpool tomorrow morning for the weekend for a stag.

If i can’t pull a nice ordinary scouse i think a trip to a brothel could be in order. I would like to think i wouldn lower myself to it but after a feed a drink anything is possible.

yeah what gives CM…is it the old classic ?..man went into brothel looking for a gobbler but got lost in a drunken moment and the heat of passion and chewed the box off a pro??..you’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last…i know its harder to take when it was your mate who was in riding her before you…but a few gargles of detol is the only job for it…:thumbsup:

hope he wears his “cold sore” as a badge of honour

Haven’t been in one since last summer.

I was in the Canaries and decided to indulge on my last night there. Went into one and selected a Cuban (bird, not cigar), which was nice, never having previously had the pleasure of a lady from the CONCACAF administrative division of FIFA before. All mirrored ceilings and piped-in soul music. It was good.

Afterwards we had a beer and a fag in the bar area. That was a mistake as by the time I left I was beginning to feel amorous again and, greedy get that I am, found another whore-pub around the corner. I gave a Colombian* a right old rattle for a solid hour and went home with a gigantic smile on my house and hole in my wallet.

*[SIZE=“1”]([/SIZE][SIZE=“1”]I swapped email addresses with the Colombian and still chat to her occassionally on MSN…)[/SIZE]

[quote=“Thrawneen”]
*[SIZE=“1”]([/SIZE][SIZE=“1”]I swapped email addresses with the Colombian and still chat to her occassionally on MSN…)[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Thinly veiled “only whores will have sex with me” post from Thrawneen there…

[quote=“Thrawneen”]Haven’t been in one since last summer.

I was in the Canaries and decided to indulge on my last night there. Went into one and selected a Cuban (bird, not cigar), which was nice, never having previously had the pleasure of a lady from the CONCACAF administrative division of FIFA before. All mirrored ceilings and piped-in soul music. It was good.

Afterwards we had a beer and a fag in the bar area. That was a mistake as by the time I left I was beginning to feel amorous again and, greedy get that I am, found another whore-pub around the corner. I gave a Colombian* a right old rattle for a solid hour and went home with a gigantic smile on my house and hole in my wallet.

*[SIZE=“1”]([/SIZE][SIZE=“1”]I swapped email addresses with the Colombian and still chat to her occassionally on MSN…)[/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Disappointed Thrawneen
I never thought you’d sink as low as paying for it

The lady tells me I was her favourite customer of the whole year.

And that’s a girl who knows what she’s talking about.

[quote=“W.B. Yeats”]Disappointed Thrawneen
I never thought you’d sink as low as paying for it[/QUOTE]

I don’t see it as sinking low WB. No way.

[quote=“Thrawneen”]The lady tells me I was her favourite customer of the whole year.
[/QUOTE]

I think she loves you.

Anyway - just read the whole thread from the start there. Quality stuff.

[quote=“W.B. Yeats”]Disappointed Thrawneen
I never thought you’d sink as low as paying for it[/QUOTE]

:clap:

prude

prude[/QUOTE]

Exactly. We went into this whore-bar, all the lads. The birds were all over us while we sat there supping beer and smoking. We were loving it, except one lad who sat stony-faced for about two minutes before storming out and home to bed.

Ridiculous stuff.

[quote=“W.B. Yeats”]Disappointed Thrawneen
I never thought you’d sink as low as paying for it[/QUOTE]

retract at once…its actually a sign of respect for women…the pro offers a service that your ordinary woman would not offer…hence by trying out a few new moves on a pro you are actually fine -tuning your performance for when you meet ‘the girl of your dreams’…if of course you still believe there is 'the girl of your dreams’as you lie starfish on the bed after smashing the balloon knot off a busty ebony beauty who has now fcuked off out of your face now she’s been paid…hassle free living…:thumbsup: