TFK International Business Travel Thread

[anon67715551]

The Teachers Union of Ireland have an airline now !!! @Fulvio_From_Aughnacloy will explode when he hears this.
Hopefully the date is going awimmingly and he’s not aware of this bombshell.

[flattythehurdler]

They’re badly organised (ironically)
They need a few Christian brothers on the check in desk.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@flattythehurdler

PS, for those in the olive oil industry like myself, non extra virgin olive oil is made out of this brown sludge fucked out the back of the factory by a tractor.

Sure it’ll be grand.

[TheUlteriorMotive]

[flattythehurdler]

Ok, people will derive childish pleasure from this, but here we go.
Having had THE most stressful arrival to departure experience on a plane I can ever recall, we arrived safely ahead of schedule. Passed through passport control using egates in seconds. So far so great. Unfortunately, the entire plane’s bags went missing til, after waiting for an hour from 1130pm til 1230 am, they were located and loaded onto a different carousel at the far end of the airport. Taxi home was a wait at the rank, but uneventful as these things go.
The lady who helps keep the house clean had been staying over to mind the cat. Bizarrely, she prefers to sleep on a sofa in the kitchen rather than in a bedroom made up for her (I know, I know). Anyhow, herself had the kids warned under pain of death not to make any noise and wake her up, so we snuck in, left the bags by the door and away upstairs, shower and bed. At some point around 0215, I got elbowed awake by herself.
“There’s someone in the house, there’s someone in the house”
“It’ll be fxxxxx” replied.
“No it’s a man’s voice”
Half asleep I went halfway down the stairs, and heard fxxxxx talking to someone who sounded very like my lad.
So I went back to bed, told herself it was just Mick and fxxxx chatting, and went straight back to sleep.
A few minutes later
“There’s someone in the garden”
So out of bed I got, and there were loud voices in the garden. I flung open the shutters and doors and was on the way out onto the balcony thing to see what on earth was going on, when I heard herself say “there’s someone on the landing”
She opened the bedroom door, and screamed at the top of her lungs.
I ran out to be greeted by several policemen and women, at least one of whom was armed, and three other people, two lads and a (very pretty) girl on the stairs.
To cut a long story short, poor fxxxx had woken up to hear noise upstairs, and thought the house was being broken into. She saw my black holdall at the bottom of the stairs and thought it was a burglars one. She’d been so terrified,she hid in the kitchen and texted her son over in Stretford to call 911. The police had rung her and she’d been absolutely petrified, and whispering into the phone that there were intruders. He had stopped to pick his brother up, and driven over like a lunatic
The police, it transpired, arrived as a full squad shortly before her sons and girlfriend. Her elder son (an airline pilot) told me later that they were quite literally about to break the door down with one of those battering ram things as fxxxxx was too scared to answer the phone, or to go to the door, and they thought she’d been assaulted/murdered.
The son managed to stop them, and get her to open the door, and they’d then charged up the stairs to where she heard the noise (our bedroom).
The police were absolutely first class, calm and pleasant, and highly entertained by the whole affair once they realised, and had a good laugh (probably nervous tension released) at the thought that she’d thought burglars were having a shower.
Herself said when she’d opened the bedroom door, all she could see was a big man dressed in all black who was shining a light in her eyes, hence the scream.
Bizarre yet not entirely unpleasant evening/morning.
Had a chat with the police, then a good chat with her lads, and we all got off to bed at about 0330 am.

[Tassotti]

That’s a fantastic auld yarn

[flattythehurdler]

And 100% true.
I’m still slightly befuddled by the whole incident as I wasn’t rightly awake.

[Tierneevin1979]

If that happened over here there would likely be a few casualties.

[flattythehurdler]

It’s scary but true that.
I think the poor lady had been scared all week on her own, and wasn’t thinking straight but I didn’t quiz her in any depth. Weird day. Spent the afternoon in Herculaneum, which is grand, but to an extent, all Roman ruins look the same after an hour.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@flattythehurdler

Ok, people will derive childish pleasure from this, but here we go.
Having had THE most stressful arrival to departure experience on a plane I can ever recall, we arrived safely ahead of schedule. Passed through passport control using egates in seconds. So far so great. Unfortunately, the entire plane’s bags went missing til, after waiting for an hour from 1130pm til 1230 am, they were located and loaded onto a different carousel at the far end of the airport. Taxi home was a wait at the rank, but uneventful as these things go.
The lady who helps keep the house clean had been staying over to mind the cat. Bizarrely, she prefers to sleep on a sofa in the kitchen rather than in a bedroom made up for her (I know, I know). Anyhow, herself had the kids warned under pain of death not to make any noise and wake her up, so we snuck in, left the bags by the door and away upstairs, shower and bed. At some point around 0215, I got elbowed awake by herself.
“There’s someone in the house, there’s someone in the house”
“It’ll be fxxxxx” replied.
“No it’s a man’s voice”
Half asleep I went halfway down the stairs, and heard fxxxxx talking to someone who sounded very like my lad.
So I went back to bed, told herself it was just Mick and fxxxx chatting, and went straight back to sleep.
A few minutes later
“There’s someone in the garden”
So out of bed I got, and there were loud voices in the garden. I flung open the shutters and doors and was on the way out onto the balcony thing to see what on earth was going on, when I heard herself say “there’s someone on the landing”
She opened the bedroom door, and screamed at the top of her lungs.
I ran out to be greeted by several policemen and women, at least one of whom was armed, and three other people, two lads and a (very pretty) girl on the stairs.
To cut a long story short, poor fxxxx had woken up to hear noise upstairs, and thought the house was being broken into. She saw my black holdall at the bottom of the stairs and thought it was a burglars one. She’d been so terrified,she hid in the kitchen and texted her son over in Stretford to call 911. The police had rung her and she’d been absolutely petrified, and whispering into the phone that there were intruders. He had stopped to pick his brother up, and driven over like a lunatic
The police, it transpired, arrived as a full squad shortly before her sons and girlfriend. Her elder son (an airline pilot) told me later that they were quite literally about to break the door down with one of those battering ram things as fxxxxx was too scared to answer the phone, or to go to the door, and they thought she’d been assaulted/murdered.
The son managed to stop them, and get her to open the door, and they’d then charged up the stairs to where she heard the noise (our bedroom).
The police were absolutely first class, calm and pleasant, and highly entertained by the whole affair once they realised, and had a good laugh (probably nervous tension released) at the thought that she’d thought burglars were having a shower.
Herself said when she’d opened the bedroom door, all she could see was a big man dressed in all black who was shining a light in her eyes, hence the scream.
Bizarre yet not entirely unpleasant evening/morning.
Had a chat with the police, then a good chat with her lads, and we all got off to bed at about 0330 am.

Was there much taken?

[anon67715551]

Whatever you do Flatty don’t ever change.

[flattythehurdler]

Where’s that? It’s beautiful.

[Tank]

This might be the greatest post in TFK history.

You’re lucky you’re not black.

[habanerocat]

Did she not know when ye were due home?

[flattythehurdler]

She did. That’s the strange thing, but. Well herself says she definitely did.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@flattythehurdler

She did. That’s the strange thing, but. Well herself says she definitely did.

Would she be “fond of a drop”

[anon67715551]

Funnily, my first thought……

[Fagan_ODowd]

@anon67715551

Funnily, my first thought……

The old dog for the long road Boxty

[Tierneevin1979]

Orange County.

[flattythehurdler]

No doesn’t drink at all. She’s a lovely dainty lady from the Philippines originally.