Just obtain and laminate a picture of a super angry Roy Keane and hang it round your neck with a message āLeave me aloneāā¦ Should work.
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At least, and itās only a small comfort, you donāt have all the hassle of timezones to deal with going to Joburg. Did that trip once years ago and if you have it in your head that itās just a journey youāll be fine.
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Yes that is a bonus alright. If it hadnāt been Malawi, Iād just have said I wasnāt going. The colleague Iām travelling with has a BA gold card (Iām only silver) and I just know the cnut will get an upgrade.
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Always have it leaving Dublin. Canāt get Fast Track online for Heathrow at all. Need to apply through your airline I think. First class only or whatever.
When youāve arrived you should tell all the locals in Malawi the hardship youāve just endured on their behalf.
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Thatās if they raise their heads up from sharpening their spearsā¦
(Iāll get me coat)
I will.
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How long is the flight from London to Joburg
They might have a kiosk where you can buy it there. Or just go up the line like a thick Paddy and tell them youāre lost and running late for your flight
12 hours I think
surely at this stage youve enough points for an upgrade?
Iād manage that sitting up no bother. Just zone out. I find looking at the flight location map on the inflight entertainment screen great for that.
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Ah yeah. Itās through the night, so itās not too bad m not good sitting still though.
I use lots of different airlines, so I donāt really have that many BA ones. Iāve only just started collecting them in any case.
The flight out was actually great. I was sat beside a South African lad who was great to talk to, then got a few hours sleep. On the way back I got upgraded to business. There were some right brexity type wankers in the cabin, and I was at the start of getting really ill so it wasnāt pleasant.
Slept for 22hours when I got home. Couldnāt even hold water down. Bit better today.
Africa is absolutely remarkable. I loved it. The people were so lovely and cheerful, though the people we were working with wouldnāt even allow us to walk 200metres in Blantyre one evening.
There was an absolute gent from Kenya there I ran with early in the mornings (he wanted 0530 but managed to talk him down to 0545). It was fair hilly, but great to see out and about. Most folk have nowt, yet we ran through an area that could have been the Hollywood hills, and got thrown off a golf club for trespassing 
.
The Kenyan lad was from the rift valley, but luckily was unfit for him. Climate was perfect. 27 in the day and 16 in the evening.
Hoping to go to Mombasa next year.
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As an aside, we were working with folk from across central, southern and west Africa. They love an oul chinwag, and ābus leaving at 0715ā means anytime before half eight will be grand lads.
But they work really hard when they get down to it. Most of them only have Sunday off, and work late into the evening when needed.
You could learn a lot from them.
They were also extremely talented. Great at IT, could discuss engineering and the like.
Nothing thrown away. The roadside stalls were either vegetables, second hand clothes, second hand shoes, one for coffins, or stalls like junk shops selling stuff that they seemed to have lifted out of a dump. Oul sofas and cupboards youd see abandoned here, and one stall had a speedboat in it 
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Booked my first travel since July, over to London in a couple of weeks for a two day SLT meeting. Suggested a team outing to see West Ham v Anderlecht and everyone agreed! Zoink
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Iām back on the international circuit myself in a few weeks. Malmo is the destination, never been, will see fuck all of it anyway so it makes no odds.
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FYI, I had a nice sandwich in Malmo in 2018.
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Iām expecting big things since their government set up a Swedish food company in Dublin to boast