The bored thread

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An incomplete list of mysterious (may not be mysterious) fatal small aircraft crashes mostly involving celebrities:

Hansie Cronje - match fixing cricketer - 2002
Emiliano Sala - new Cardiff City signing - n2019
The Mull Of Kintyre helicopter crash 1994
Payne Stewart - golfer - 1999
Paul Wellstone - Democratic US Senator from Minnesota 2002
Mel Carnahan - US Democratic Governor of Missouri 2000
Colin McRae - rally driver - 2007
Bertie Fisher - rally driver - 2001
Yer man Vichai who owned Leicester City - 2018
Matthew Harding - Chelsea owner - 1996
Aaliyah - pop star - 2001
Evgeny Prigozhin - Russian fascist - 2023
That Beaujolais air crash with the 1984 equivalent of people who might have been on the front cover of the Sindo’s Life Magazine
Trump ORGANIZATION helicopter crash - 1989
Michael Connell - Ohio 2004 election fraud witness who received death threats from Karl Rove - 2008
Kobe Bryant - basketball player - 2020
Stevie Ray Vaughan - guitar player - 1990
The entire squad of Harchester United - 1999

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522

What about Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper?

523

What about Patsy Cline?
What about Tony Lema?
What about US Secretary of Defence Ron Brown?

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524

Point of order, Secretary of Commerce Ron Brown

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525

What about Lynryd Skynryd and Randy Rhodes.

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526

21 godforsaken places in the UK we hope to never visit, but which give our lives structure, regulation, framework and meaning.

Forfar
Walsall
Oldham
Burnley
Alloa
Gillingham
Falkirk
Luton
Kilmarnock
Motherwell
Rochdale
Colchester
Rotherham
Accrington
Grimsby
Arbroath
Swindon
Scunthorpe
Hartlepool
Stenhousemuir
Cowdenbeath

527

Twee ideas for names for irreverent, late 1980s English association football style fanzines based on GAA teams, based on hilarious esoteric historical or popular cultural references.

References may be self deprecating or performatively arrogant.

Dublin football: “The Startled Earwig” or “Arseboxing”

Dublin hurling: “Shit Ground, No Fans” or “I’m More Concerned About The Under-21s” or “I Followed The Waterford Supporter Onto the Train”

Down football: “Swagger”

Wicklow football: “Locked In A Car Boot”

Galway hurling: “Should Have Put Granny In Goal”

Kerry football: “Yerra”

Waterford hurling: “I Still Loves Me County”

Kilkenny hurling: " He Tried To Con Me Too"

Tyrone football: “Puke”

Armagh football: “Not Made In Taiwan”

Limerick hurling: “Limited Heartbreak”

Mayo Football: “House Of Pain”

Clare football: “There Won’t Be A Cow Milked”

Tipperary hurling: “Birthright”

Wexford hurling: “No Longer A Hurling County”

Leitrim Football: “There’s A Bomb In The Bag”

Antrim hurling: “We’re Not Scottish”

Cork hurling: “Full Blown Identity Crisis”

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St. Vincent’s: “Mafia” or “Illuminati”

Kilmakud Krokes: “17 A Side” or “Loadsamoney”

Erin’s Isle: “Born To Runner Up”

Ballymun Kickhams: “Shooting Up”

Ballyboden St. Enda’s: “Superclub”

St. Jude’s: “Here, There And Everywhere”

Parnells: “Flying To The Sun”

Lucan Sarsfields: “The Commuting Times” or “A Lonely Suburban Existence”

Crossmaglen Rangers: “Snipers At Work”

Camross: “Hatchet”

Mount Sion: “Fuck You Ya Cunt”

Celbridge: “Fancy Dans”

Kilcoo: “Northern Bank Notes”

James Stephens: “Village Magazine”

Four Masters: “Arnold Palmer”

St. John Bosco: “The Magic Door”

Ramor United: “There’s Only One United”

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POWER RANKINGS of English football title races since 1970:

1 Arsenal v Liverpool 1989
2 Derby v Leeds v Liverpool 1972
3 Liverpool v Everton 1986
4 Manchester United v Newcastle 1996
5 Blackburn Rovers v Manchester United 1995
6 Abu Dhabi v Manchester United 2012
7 Leeds United v Manchester United 1992
8 Manchester United v Arsenal 1999
9 Arsenal v Leeds 1971
10 Liverpool v QPR 1976

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New sub goalkeeper: Jonathan Ransom (Canada)

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531

One of my very favourite genres of goal is Tony Cascarino headed goals for Ireland.

At least 10 of Tony Cascarino’s 19 goals for Ireland were scored with the head (no footage of his second goal against Tunisia in 1988 exists online).

Here are POWER RANKINGS for Tony Cascarino headed goals for Ireland:

1 v Northern Ireland 1989 - a statement goal, one of the most visually impressive headers you’ll ever see, a goal that said WE ARE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP
2 v England 1990 - clutch, a goal of utter relief
3 v Hungary 1989 - he stooped to conquer from six inches, the easiest of the lot but ICONIC
4 v Albania 1993 - a crucial winning goal on the way to the USA
5 v Lithuania 1997 - a generic Cascarino classic
6 v Macedonia 1996 - another generic Cascarino classic
7 v Germany 1994 - he’s done what he’s there for
8 v Romania 1997 - he stooped to notch a nice equaliser in a dead rubber
9 v Liechtenstein 1997 - a beauty of a salmon leap against the mountain shepherds
10 v Liechtenstein 1997 - no footage of this goal exists online but it was a header