By the time I got home he was asleep in the bath. He had the dinner in the bath and then went straight to the bed. Mattys right hand man rang me to say heād worked really hard and they were really pleased. āand you know me, Iād not have bothered ringing you if it wasnāt trueā
A great result really. His ma is delighted. Just hope he can stick at it.
And thanks for asking.
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Jesus flatly heās the head of you 
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Aboy flatty og
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I hope he doesnāt
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Youāll have to hook him up with my lass flatty. Shes been on the buildings for 2 weeks now and is snoring by 9 every night
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Perfect. I told them both they had to marry Irish.
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She building Ferraro towers in dunnes?
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Nah, said wed start her off with the building site first. Wouldnāt trust her yet to do the Ferrero builds.
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You couldāve started her off easy on the Nutella displays
No. Glass jars. Any bit of a lean at all and the solicitors letter would be through the door.
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Fair play, a stint on the sites is a great grounding for any young man. I have to best and the worst of memories of those summersā¦
A few storiesā¦
I used to get a lift with a fella in Kilcolgan most mornings. On mondays the fella driving would reach over and shove his left hand into my face āsmell that a mhaceen, I rode the hole off herself last nightā
The ould fella was a foreman on other sites for same company. Heād never place me on same site as himself. Anyway he made enemies with a fat cunt of a blocklayer at some stage on another site and that same cunt made my life hell for a summer and I only 15. Things came to a head one day and I made a poor attempt at giving him the handle of the mixer across the side of the head and the cunt knocked me and sat on me and nearly suffocated me. A lad from Abbey layed him out and a big roar out of him āHES ONLY A FUCKING YOUNGLADā
Same fella from Abbey was asked to get rid of rubbish on the site before houses were handed over to clients. The mad cunt brought all the rubbish into a lawn at the back of one house and started a fire. Smoke off the fire blackened the walls of the house which needed repainting and left a big black hole some poor cunts lawn.
Ah shtop. Heāll have plenty memories after it anyway. Iād sleep all the way home every evening, youād be fucking wrecked.
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Matty seems a decent sort. Heāll probably bung the lad a few quid Friday and theyāll all be good to go Monday morning. Matty will then possibly introduce him to the ritual of Friday evening post work pints at the end of next week. Matty donāt mean any harm, itās a rite of passage thatās probably best explained to his Mam in the middle of next week.
The ladāll be the finest, tāisnt all about Pythagoras theorems and algebraic bullshit, itās about honest graft, punctuality, adaptability and camaraderie.
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Ā£50 a day in hand is the wage.
Matty has a close knit core group of lads whoāve worked for him a while. They all have a few pints but donāt go mad. I said to herself that hopefully itāll show him that a couple of pints is grand but no need for the top shelf, and to drink steady. All good. I was out the door this morning before he was awake. The next week and pacing it is the big thing now.
He said he was going to buy himself some ānice shoesā with his wages. āNice ones dad, like a hundred quidā. I said Iād buy them for him. āno I want to buy them myself with my own moneyā, so, miserable old bastard Iāve become, I said to remember how hard heād worked for the money, and if he saw a pair he really liked, think about waiting til the sale as it might mean saving a day or twos wages. Ah Iām delighted so far. Still a bit anxious it goes ok, but like falling off a skyscraper, so far, so good.
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Shmell that a mhaicin 
And you trying to open a brickies head with a mixer handle at the age of 15. Thereās fight in the dog. Remind me never to spill your latte.
I remember some right cunt of a Dublin ganger telling me about his wifeās knickers when I was in London as a teenager.
Iād a lovely ganger from athenry in London for a while. I canāt remember his name. We used fuck about with shotguns and shot an odd pheasant (we just bought one second hand, no licence. Mental when you think of it now). I was telling him this, and big tough man that he was, he said āwhy would you be doing that?, Thereās no luck in it. Theyāre beautiful birdsā. I never picked up a gun again.
I ended up putting a lad in his 50s in hospital in my first week on site
We had put a big bale of bricks on the trolley and was lifting it back, it began to swell out in the middle so I thought Iād help him by giving it a bit of a kick to put it back in place, only to dismantle the whole load weād put together. Anyway he got pretty furious, went to go for me, tripped over a brick and landed down on another pile of them. Think he cracked a few ribs and cut his head.
His nickname was actually Clown Feet as it wasnāt the first time he had ended up in hospital due to tripping over something on the site.
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I never forget the days labouring as a gosun. The abiding memory is not to judge a book by itās cover. There was an old hand from Leitrim, a low sized, stocky man, he was the salt of the earth, I was labouring with his crew, myself, him, and 2 Dubs, who were absolute pricks. Anyway, we were pretty much always on the same job, the old hand from Leitrim had spent his life labouring, between here and London, as nice a man you could meet and genuinely funny, he was seen as a soft touch because he was nice and funny and had a few quirks. Anyway, long story short, he had got a new car and spent the whole day boasting about it, proud as punch, as if it was a baby, a lovely sky blue kind of a car, brand new, plastic taken off the seats. The two Dubs slipped out during the day and put glue, cement and other things in the door handles, the cunts. Clocking out time comes and the four of us are walking out to the car park, there is a bit of an audience around Tomās car, he thinks itās because of the car, the cunt Dubs are laughing already. He goes to open the door and you can see the pain on his face. I was thinking the cunts, so was Tom, he hit the nearest man to him, one of the culprits with a box, now that man had a foot at least and some weight on Tom but he folded like a cheap tent. Gone, the second man went down, Gone, 2 more men were put away before they controlled him. 4 cunt Dubs gone in about 10 seconds of fury. Heād have killed one of them if he wasnāt surrounded.
Never judge a book by itās cover
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What the fuck does be wrong with people doing that to a car?
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big hard men making a joke of the culchie, two of them werenāt seen for a few weeks.
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Has the young lad been sent out for the bucket of steam yet.
Thereās a word for lads like that Flatty and it begins with a C and ends with unts
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