a replacement bubble for the spirit level was the best one I heard
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The long standā¦ Sky hooksā¦ Glass hammerā¦ The list is endless
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Skirting board ladder 
The long stand is a cracker
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Young lad on site 20 years ago was digging a hole near the lock up. I asked him what he was at. The lads told me to dig half a hole up here he goes, the lad with me asked him had he a license for the shovel, he said no. He sent him up to the site office to get his licence for itā¦ It caused a lot of confusionā¦ The poor cuntā¦ He was willing if nothing else. He now owns a few hairdressers in Dublin nowā¦
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Left handed screw driver
The funniest one I witnessed was in a hotel bar. We had to do a stock take at the end of this particular night, and there was a new young lad in collecting glasses and doing table service, one of the lads says to him, weāve to do a stock take tonight kid, grand says yer man, youāve to count the ice cubes. No bother says eager beaver.
We did our counts of bottles and measures etc, grand, sitting down to have our after work pints and me man goes, jesus iām after forgetting about the youngfella. Out to the store room and theres the hero with the sleeves rolled up putting ice cubes into a bucket. Arms red raw. How are you getting along kidā¦ Grand says he, but it keeps filling up so Iām losing count
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Giggling pins 
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The Fathers Issues thread has finally become the Old Wives Tales
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Donāt forget about Tartan Paint
The glass hammer.
I remember overloading a forklift with too many pallets of blocks in Manhattan and the load came off sideways right onto the roof of the foremanās parked carā¦and me illegal.
I definitely was not a natural.
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Being sent out for bullets for the lobster gun was a hardy annual in the restaurant trade locally
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I confess to getting caught out by the ālong standā. Seriously. 
Tis working already. He came in just there this evening tired. Had a grand day, said he preferred it to sitting at home on the Xbox. Asked could we get dominoes. We can I said, but think on this, thirty quid in dominos is two thirds of your days wages. He thought for a minute, and then asked would I get him one of the nice pizzas from Aldi instead.
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would you not have stood him the dominoes given hes actually out and working for the first time. reward the behaviour
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Course I would, Iām just trying to show him stuff is hard earned. Iām trying to get him to realise that money is hard worked for by most people. Relative value. Weāll get Domino tomorrow. Iād buy him anything tbh. Thatās not especially good either.
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fair enough, and a good approach.
i thought you were being edgy there for a minute
Fair play to Tom but there is no bating at all in townies the wake junky bastards
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No, not at all. Herself had been going through his bank statements with him last week. Spend Ā£59 one day on Apple pay without really being able to recall on what. About 8x Ā£4.99 amongst other things. He thinks he might have bought lunch for his mates, but couldnāt remember. She asked him was porn Ā£4.99 these days and he legged it sharpish. Id be glad if he did buy lunch for people, but just needs to know what it costs if youāre on the minimum wage.
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We were building the Hurley shed around 35 years ago. The auld boy sent the older brother up into the attic for the skirting ladder and some sky hooks. Brother gone ages, auld boy didnāt flinch or let on a thing. I spent the whole time thinking āhope ta fuck he gets them as I donāt know what the hell they areā. Poor fucker came back down sweating and fretting. It was a good laugh, the relief.
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