The Dating Thread - Part II

Let this be a thread to provide members with support, guidance, encouragement and wise counsel in affairs of the heart.

TFK gives members a broad snapshot of the Irish population and, even though I don’t know everyone’s personal circumstances, I’m aware that we have married members (like Locke and Appendage), engaged members (like Rocko), members in relationships (like Mac and Fran), gay members (like AllChangePlease and Flano), members who prowl around town looking for a bit (like Sledgehammer and Jugs) and members with personal experience of incest (like Farmer banging his Aunty and cesc4 scoring his first cousin). We even have a girl now (Mairegangaire) so I think we have all the bases covered.

But Ireland is a different place now than it was for previous generations. No longer are there showbands, cils, hops and all that scheidt and no longer will you pull your future wife by walking up to her and asking, ‘Would you care for a mineral?’ like the smooth Bandage Senior did all those years ago.

I’ll get the debate going by discussing tactics - should you go for the absolute hottest birds in the club with the aim of getting something on the way down your list or go ugly early to avoid the rush? The temptation is always there to go for the mingbag dogs and fatties straight away in order to avoid a plethora of rejections from the decent birds but more and more I’m coming around to the way of thinking that says you need to be brash, cocky and confident and approach hotties only.

Frankly, there’s nothing worse than some absolute rotten bowler who thinks she’s all that. It’s particularly annoying when you pull a dog and you think it’s a certainty that she’ll put out and be grateful for it but then she decides she’s not that cheap and wants to be respected and brought on dates before she’ll even consider giving you a handjob.

You need to be particularly wary of fatties in such instances as these whales will use the whole ‘I want us to go on a proper date before we do anything’ routine as a rouse merely to get a free dinner out of you. The big fat dykes will then order some appetisers, two starters, a big fillet of steak and then polish off a chocolate brownie and expect you to pay for it. Where’s the equality now Tubby?

Conclusion: All these stupid shows like Sex And The City and crap magazines like Cosmopolitan have made birds, even horrendously ugly messes, believe that they’re outstandingly hot and sassy. As a result, the most obscene munters think they can wrap blokes around their fat, stumpy, little fingers and they might not necessarily put out straight away. Therefore, there’s no point investing time in these rhinos when you could be setting up a bit of pulling and dragging with a hottie. Yes, I’m clear on this now - approaches should be made to hotties first all the time, with fatties only providing a back-up option in extreme emergencies. After all, why would you select Andriy Voronin if Fernando Torres was fit and in form?

Any opinions?

Please feel free to broaden the topic out to any other aspect of the dating game that interests you.

1 Like

You’re a fooking knob jockey

You Wonderful Man

[quote=“Bandage”]Let this be a thread to provide members with support, guidance, encouragement and wise counsel in affairs of the heart.

TFK gives members a broad snapshot of the Irish population and, even though I don’t know everyone’s personal circumstances, I’m aware that we have married members (like Locke and Appendage), engaged members (like Rocko), members in relationships (like Mac and Fran), gay members (like AllChangePlease and Flano), members who prowl around town looking for a bit (like Sledgehammer and Jugs) and members with personal experience of incest (like Farmer banging his Aunty and cesc4 scoring his first cousin). We even have a girl now (Mairegangaire) so I think we have all the bases covered.

But Ireland is a different place now than it was for previous generations. No longer are there showbands, cils, hops and all that scheidt and no longer will you pull your future wife by walking up to her and asking, ‘Would you care for a mineral?’ like the smooth Bandage Senior did all those years ago.

I’ll get the debate going by discussing tactics - should you go for the absolute hottest birds in the club with the aim of getting something on the way down your list or go ugly early to avoid the rush? The temptation is always there to go for the mingbag dogs and fatties straight away in order to avoid a plethora of rejections from the decent birds but more and more I’m coming around to the way of thinking that says you need to be brash, cocky and confident and approach hotties only.

Frankly, there’s nothing worse than some absolute rotten bowler who thinks she’s all that. It’s particularly annoying when you pull a dog and you think it’s a certainty that she’ll put out and be grateful for it but then she decides she’s not that cheap and wants to be respected and brought on dates before she’ll even consider giving you a handjob.

You need to be particularly wary of fatties in such instances as these whales will use the whole ‘I want us to go on a proper date before we do anything’ routine as a rouse merely to get a free dinner out of you. The big fat dykes will then order some appetisers, two starters, a big fillet of steak and then polish off a chocolate brownie and expect you to pay for it. Where’s the equality now Tubby?

Conclusion: All these stupid shows like Sex And The City and crap magazines like Cosmopolitan have made birds, even horrendously ugly messes, believe that they’re outstandingly hot and sassy. As a result, the most obscene munters think they can wrap blokes around their fat, stumpy, little fingers and they might not necessarily put out straight away. Therefore, there’s no point investing time in these rhinos when you could be setting up a bit of pulling and dragging with a hottie. Yes, I’m clear on this now - approaches should be made to hotties first all the time, with fatties only providing a back-up option in extreme emergencies. After all, why would you select Andriy Voronin if Fernando Torres was fit and in form?

Any opinions?

Please feel free to broaden the topic out to any other aspect of the dating game that interests you.[/quote]

Your georgous chisled to perfection face, and toned tanned and lean body haven’t changed you one bit, and you are generous with your vast multiple and self made millions to boot.

Just how have you remained unsainted and single?

Is it because no female is humble enough to match your own giving, or perhaps no female has beauty to match your own?

(If you are the age I think you are, girls in your tick box would still be watching the Barbie Diaries and Strawberry Shortcake reruns. SITC is still strictly C18 even it was 5 yrs ago)

What have Combat 18 got to do with anything?

I reckon I’m going to get a serious sniff this weekend, the weekend just has that look about it. Although I am at a 21st tomorrow night, and have no immediate plans for tonight, so opportunities could be limited. Those are often the best weekends for it though.

I just hope though that after all the action I’m going to get over the weekend, that I’ve enough “spare capacity” on Sunday afternoon to wind down the weekend with a few jars watching the Italy-Spain game.

2 replies and 2 feathers ruffled.

A tough game is this dating lark.

[quote=“Bandage”]Therefore, there’s no point investing time in these rhinos when you could be setting up a bit of pulling and dragging with a hottie. Yes, I’m clear on this now - approaches should be made to hotties first all the time, with fatties only providing a back-up option in extreme emergencies. After all, why would you select Andriy Voronin if Fernando Torres was fit and in form?

Any opinions?

[/quote]

You’re dead right lad. As my primary school teacher used to say - aim for the clouds and you’ll land on the ground, aim for the sky and you’ll land on the clouds. Simple really, start with the hot birds and work your way down. Hows your confidence gonna be if you go after a few mules and they send you packing. You dont want to be the lad who went out and got shot down by numerous whales and rhinos.

You gotta take a tactical approach to it. Sort of like an assassin.

First of all you start with the sniper rifle and go for one perfectly aimed shot. You gotta shoot early, cause if you leave it until the last second then you won’t get another shot at your prey.
If that fails then, you still have time to try poisoning (aka a bucket of jagermeister down some young ones throat).
And if that fails you just go for the AK-47 and fire enough bullets around the place that one of them has gotta hit eventually and by the law of averages it’ll probably hit the biggest, least agile target.

Interesting Bandage - which category would you place yourself into?

Can’t imagine myself ever going on a date.

In affairs of the heart I generally sit back and let them come to me, which isn’t very often. Can’t be arsed chatting up birds though. And I fooking detest these yokes in Ireland who are nothing but mediocre and think they’re class - Room 101 ya silly coont.

“Would you like to be buried with my people?” is probably the best chat up line around at the moment. It shows you’re serious about a long term relationship and that you also have the wherewithal to provide with a burial plot, so you’re not a pauper.

What are peoples views on long distance relationships??

I started seeing a young wan a few months back and it was great, nice girl, great fun and the sex was/is top class.

She however is from Cork, me Limerick, and she has finised college totally while i have a bit to go. I know Cork is not a million miles away but we are limited to weekends and of course when shit pops up, like this weekend (Luimneach abu), we may not see each other at all!!

It does not help that i am surrounded by absolutely cracking eastern european birds every day here in dell and i fear one of them is in for a ramming soon.

Thoughts gentlemen?? and Lady ?? can these relationships work ??

Good you explained that there SS as I was going off on mad tangents…

I’m very much of the same ilk as Clarkey but if the bird was deemed hot enough I would put the work in…*

  • would probbaly get knocked back but God loves a trier…

“You can drool on my pillow anytime” is one of my favourites at the moment. But as previously mentioned by Bandage my coupledom has precluded it’s use for a while now.

It also cuts straight to the chase, which may not be the appropriate plan of attack for some girls.

Rohypnol, 60% of the time, it works everytime.

Take a quick scout around for a decent looking bird(not a complete stunner now mind you) and a fatty. Test out the water to see if they’re up for some shitty banter/craic or if they’re just snobby hoors.
Concentrate more on the fatty as the time goes on, chances are the decent bird will get a bit pissed off(as she considers herself the gradeA fanny of the group too) and make more of an effort to chat to you. If this happens you have a reasonable chance of being elected with her and if all fails you still have the fatty as back up. However if the fatty doesn’t give in to ur charms either its a waste of a few hours that you could have been plying yourself and some other heifer with booze to get the ball rolling… it’s a tough old world out there sometimes.

i would play it cool enough myself…would never go out with preconcieved notions like i must pull tonight etc as i find they are the nights you pull fuck all…would normally just try and have the craic with whatever is kinda close to me…very seldom would i work for it…

I got a wear off a bird last night in Flannerys, she was a bit of a ride in fairness to her, but I am struggling to get past the “drunken-snogging-and-groping-on-the-dance-floor-in-full-view-of-the-general-public” phase. :frowning:

[quote=“ChocolateMice”]What are peoples views on long distance relationships??

I started seeing a young wan a few months back and it was great, nice girl, great fun and the sex was/is top class.

She however is from Cork, me Limerick, and she has finised college totally while i have a bit to go. I know Cork is not a million miles away but we are limited to weekends and of course when shit pops up, like this weekend (Luimneach abu), we may not see each other at all!!

It does not help that i am surrounded by absolutely cracking eastern european birds every day here in dell and i fear one of them is in for a ramming soon.

Thoughts gentlemen?? and Lady ?? can these relationships work ??[/quote]

CM, you should never fear piling into some hootie from Eastern Europe. No offence to dancarter but if your missus is from Cork it’s probably enough to see her once every month! You can rattle into the hottie in Dell in the meantime.

I premiered a new chat up line last night, ‘Do you just want to score now or give it 5 or 10 minutes to get to know me?’ Then found out the bird’s name was Mary! What the fook?

Went to a bird on Saturday night “any chance of a ride”, total non-success needless to say but she gave me a few tips on cleaning up my act

[quote=“Bandage”]CM, you should never fear piling into some hootie from Eastern Europe. No offence to dancarter but if your missus is from Cork it’s probably enough to see her once every month! You can rattle into the hottie in Dell in the meantime.

I premiered a new chat up line last night, ‘Do you just want to score now or give it 5 or 10 minutes to get to know me?’ Then found out the bird’s name was Mary! What the fook?[/quote]

No offence taken. I have never gone out with a Cork bird myself, unbelieveably up there own hole. Choc Mice, Im sure your is the sound one though.

BTW long distance relationship, cork and limerick, hr and a half on the bus your having a fookin laugh, shes not in fookin canada for fook sake