The Locke for @Locke ?
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@Thomas_Brady 12/5/21 " we demand 1 billion euros to build a motorway from.cork to limerick"
@Thomas_Brady 14/8/22 “only takes 1 hour on the motorway”
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Oooooffffftttttttttt
She’s a beaut once you turn off the motorway at Mitchelstown.
I’d recommend the Kilfinane route. Very scenic.
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You’d need minimum a tractor, Land Rover or a 4X4 Pajero to get across those hills.
There’s your clue above mate.
We are two handed waiters
Cahirdaven
It’s a doddle
Welcome friend.
Can I interest you in an El Chippo or a latte?
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I was prescribed anti-depressants last week, starting on a low dose of Venaflex with the dosage to be upped after a week or so but after taking one tablet each on Thursday and Friday I have decided to stop because I fear becoming dependent on them and that this may destroy my life entirely, not that it doesn’t feel destroyed at the moment anyway. In the first two weeks it is warned that feelings can get worse before they get better. I feel I cannot risk this but I feel it’s also a risk not to proceed with the anti-depressants and that any way I turn carries risk. My aunt says I need them.
I made a half hearted suicide attempt last night I’d say around 10:45 or 11pm. I sprinted at a car coming up my road, the car stopped, I probably would have dived out of the way had the driver not stopped. Then I walked down towards the Salmon Weir bridge shouting and screaming and got half way - I think it is highly unlikely I would have thrown myself into the river - but my mother flagged me down in the car. I got in. Thoughts of suicide are 50% of the air I breathe at the moment, the other 50% is a retreat into a fantasy world where all this has not happened.
I’ve had five valium tablets at various stages over the last two weeks and had the last of the five I had in my possession this morning. They have kept me in check a bit when needed but I am out of them now and worried and feel afraid to go to another doctor. I don’t want to become dependent on valium but if I do not have the option of taking it I feel I could have a mini-breakdown at any moment.
I had a prescription for glasses done up but the glasses don’t cure the double vision I have and in fact only make it worse. I am going to look into prisms but I fear will they not work when the image coming from my good eye is a true one and the image coming from the other one is warped.
I have a telephone counselling session arranged through the NCBI scheduled for tomorrow.
I used to love weekends but I fear them now as I fear my retina could re-detach or that my other eye could go, and it’s very hard to find a doctor in Galway at the weekend, they send you from Billy to Jack and back again. I feel I need help constantly be it from a doctor or any human contact or validation but I don’t even know what it is I want from a doctor at this stage.
I’ve been trying to give up smoking since July 31st and went the whole of August without a single cigarette but I drifted back onto them a bit around the 6th of September. For three weeks after September 27th when my eye went I gave up again completely but I have started having the odd one again in the last two weeks. I still have four left from the same packet I bought the night before my eye went. These cigarettes are like tiny oases of sanity and probably do as much for me as a valium does. But I want to give them up.
I have been told that my eyesight will return to 90-95% but this feels like a complete pipe dream, it feels like I’m having the piss taken out of me, I have no proper useable eyesight in the left eye and I desperately want it back. I keep looking at the edges of doors with my bad eye and seeing wonky lines not straight ones. This is a form of deliberate mental torture, I know I should not do it but I keep doing it.
The whole street knows I’m having some form of nervous breakdown at this stage. I have thought about going on a psychiatric ward or something but having thought about it I don’t want to.
I’m still able to converse on a sane level but I don’t know how long this continues unless I see improvement in my physical condition.
Everything feels like it matters to me right now in a way it has never done before in my life and yet everything feels completely meaningless. I am unravelling and feel like human scrap metal.
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Your mind is a muscle. It is injured. It needs treatment to get better. Take the medicine buddy. It can take a while to get dosage right. You will feel better in no time if you stay the course. Be strong. If a cigarette gives you some comfort, don’t beat yourself up over it.
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My mother had a retinal detachment and was in excruciating pain with it. Had surgery to rectify it and after a tough 2 weeks it started to come right.
I would urge you to contact Pieta House. They are amazing. And while I understand that you do not want to become dependent on anti depressants, from the post above I think you even know yourself that right now you need them.
While it can all seem too much now there is always help available, always light at the end of the tunnel and always better days ahead.
The eye will improve. The anti depressants are necessary and will help. Contact Pieta House.
Have faith. It’ll all come good.
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Yeah I’d agree with @fenwaypark about the fags too, smoke away to your heart’s content if it brings you any comfort
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Thats big news. If it came from a professional I’d believe it.
Stay on the fucking cigarettes if they are bringing you comfort. There will be another time to focus on giving them up. For now you focus on getting through this, hour by hour, day by day.
Hang in there brother
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@Cheasty , you need to trust the doctors, they have no reason to lie about your eye or the drugs
Stay Strong mate,
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That’s great news re the eyesight, try grab a hold of that positivity if you can.
As the lads said, take the medication and smoke the fags. Take joy where it is, quitting can come later.
But take the medication.
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I have very close relations who have been on anti depressants for close to 20 years and they appear far far more well adjusted people than most others I know. If you had to take medication for the rest of your life but lived a far happier life surely you’d do it? Anything else is just a Catholic guilt type stigma about them.
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Very sorry to hear what you are going through. On this point re your eye. My dad lost sight in one eye on the 12th of Dec last year. No warning just went. He went to consultant who told him it would come back and there was nothing they could do about it in the meantime.
They thought he had a minor stroke in his eye with no other side effects. He was doing his nut because he coukdnt drive or go anywhere on his own and he was very active going to matches etc. Docs kept telling him same thing the sight would come back, and it did. Almost as quick as it went. Took about 6 months and all he did was wear a patch at times watching TV… Keep the faith man
Not saying a patch will cure your eye BTW… Just that the docs know what they are doing
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