You are getting out of the house into the fresh air
You have engaged with professional services
You have attended A & E as advised
You are taking your medication
You are still here.
These are all positives and all are controllable by you. The situation with your eye is in the control of others and stressing over it will, unfortunately, not change a thing. Control the controllables.
There seem to have been many and regular low points. Without dwelling too much on how you felt at those points, try harness them into believing that tomorrow will be a little better and that the day after that will be a little better again.
There are many thousands of people in this country suffering from many insidious ailments who would change positions with you in a heartbeat.
Many of these are facing similar roadblocks with regard to appointments and assorted delays but their only option is to battle on irrespective of the prognosis or the long-term prospects.
You’re an educated fellow and your life has been turned on it’s head with this misfortune with your eye. A popular catch-all phrase is to “trust the process” and that’s what you’ll have to come around to, the sooner the better. Have a little faith, the medical folk are doing their best and there have been positive if long-term soundings.
Avoid those groups you got into - nothing positive there and kill those videos that you seem keen on. It isn’t how many times you get knocked down but the number of times you get up.
Depression is a mental illness sid, there can be no reading with some of it. Well done for the steps you’ve taken so far, keep on going, get the help, the tide will turn. We’re all rooting for you.
You’re an extremely bright fella @Cheasty and you’re unbelievably articulate. Get the help you need. There are great resources out there.
Suicide is something I’ve had close friends do over the years and I don’t believe for a second any of them think now that it was the right decision. If they could change it I think they would. Its a snap decision done that cannot be taken back.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life isn’t easy. Make no mistake everyone goes through misery but you will get the better of this. The whole forum is rooting for you.
As luck would have it, I went for a swim this morning in the local pub/swimming pool. One of the staff there is swimming 50km today for Pieta house. Started at 2am and has about 23k done so far. Here’s the link if anyone is feeling flaithiùil.
I’m delighted for PJ that he has recovered so well. My problem however is a very particular physical one which is very debilitating and disorientating. It alters your literal perception of the world much for the worse. It involves no physical pain but it’s a physical affliction which involves immense mental anguish and panic. It makes pretty much every second of existence difficult to endure and there’s no end, improvement nor escape from it in sight, and feeling you’re not being listened to by your surgeon amplifies this feeling.
I didn’t get out of bed until 8pm on Friday and the only thing I had to eat that day was a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and two packets of crisps.
I’ve achieved seven things today so far:
i) I got out of bed by 11.
ii) I had a shave with a barber’s razor.
iii) I emptied my bowels.
iv) I had a shower.
v) I put on a pair of clean clothes.
vi) I washed my dirty clothes, which were nearly all of them.
vii) I ate a salad for lunch.
Sorry, I should have said hairdresser’s razor as in “give us a one all over there”. Yeah, a barber’s razor is probably something I shouldn’t be handing alright.
You seem in better form today @Cheasty. Actually delighted to see this been genuine with you! Keep at it pal, tomorrow is another page of the chapter! I get that you were excited for the WC final but remember, Premier league and all that back next week if its a bit of sport you’re after. Keep at it pal!
