@Batigol is a good sort who has taken some shocking torrents on here over the years, some of bordering on bullying. Dont let the bastards get you down pal, I’ve had to deal with them on here, and I am here for you.
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As a lifelong, intermittent sufferer of the dreaded darkness, with fewer light spots in between bouts as I age, here is one of the things I have learned that I forget and need to frequently remind myself of. One of, if not the worst aspects of depression for me, is my resistance to it when it arrives. Not wanting to house it, wishing it wasn’t in my brain on a given day, wishing I had more physical energy, that I was mentally sharper, that I had more motivation, and that I could feel joy or pleasure from the moments that I know I can find that in, when my brain is not hijacked by it’s grip. So, I remind myself that today I have an illness, like a flu almost, that will mean that I will not be firing on all cylinders, so for me to find more peace in letting go of the resistance to how I want things to be on this given day, or how I want to feel, I need to release the high expectations I have of myself, and instead attempt to supplant them with the expectations I would have for a close friend, or loved one if they were in the same situation. I remind myself that my inner critic’s personality is so harsh, that if another human spoke to me how it does, my knuckles would never find the time to heal, so self compassion is key. Wishing you a blinder of a recovery. Me aul fella used to say, ‘Good times don’t last forever, but neither do bad times’.
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All true. Trying to rebel against can be absolutely pointless. I’d say I’ve shorted my life considerably by some of the self-medicating I’ve done down through the years.
Anyway, I got up and gave an absolute EXHIBITION of mediocre deadlifting below in the gym.
Confident I can pretend to be ok long enough to fulfil the two social events I have tonight and tomorrow night. After that we’ll see what happens.
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It’s always good to intermittently do ‘not depressed’ activities as a barometer of where one is at, as we can miss out on the shards of hope given by a witness to progress when we show up to things the condition rails against. You got this.
Shur anything yous two fuckers say would only depress him further
Did the sadness come on all of a sudden or was it always on your shoulder?
Fairplay to speaking about it in an open fashion.Many dont. You’ll be ok brother.
I find that if people get in touch with me and want to meet up it makes me feel very uneasy. I was supposed to have one such meet up during the week, no firm arrangement was made but I said I’d get in touch with the person Tuesday or Wednesday, but certain other things got in the way and I just went off grid completely, I still haven’t got in touch. The person knows I’m in a bad spot because we met up a couple of times during the summer but when you meet up once and you sort of behave as if nothing is wrong (which I have a terrible ability to do) people assume nothing is wrong, which is not the case. This person is themselves on anti-depressants, so understands my situation, and I understand theirs, but it still feels too much.
My preferred socialising set up is an offer from my brother to go out for pints with another friend on a Sunday evening. He’s going anyway, and I can come along if I like. It depends if I can get myself ready, which usually depends on whether I’ve had a shite that day up to then.
I got a lift in to the All-Ireland final this year. I had to be dropped at the bottom of St. Alphonsus Road. I didn’t have a ticket, I hadn’t asked anybody. The whole way in I was on the pop of saying “fuck this” and asking to turn back. I’m glad I didn’t turn back but it was about 51-49 whether I got out of the car and ventured off into the unknown or returned home and watched the thing with a can of Guinness. As it was I picked up a ticket handy enough. An acquaintance I was drinking with who I very occasionally see at Dublin matches told me he had an eye problem and was seeing the same guy I had arranged to see not long afterwards, and that the doctors had told him they could do so much for his eye but that ultimately he’d go blind in the eye.
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I couldn’t manage the two social events in the end and had to bail on the second one after about an hour.
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Hang in there pal. We’ll meet for a pint in Peigs some night over the holidays.
No problem mate. There’ll be time for that again.
This too shall pass.
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This weather aint helping either id imagine.
Miserable grey damp cunt of a place with nearly everyone going around coughing up a lung
Maybe consider going back to the medication, kid.
What you have is a chemical imbalance and the chemicals used to treat it often take a while, and a few attempts, before the blend that’s right for you is reached. It rarely works immediately and that’s why a lot of people give up on it. It might take a few more twists but you’ll get there.
It’s positive that you can recognise the good things that a currently in your life. Keep the focus on those and beir bua.
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This too shall pass mate.
You need to watch the behaviour though. No harm going to Manchester for a change of scenery but heavy sessions have to be kicked to touch at the moment.
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I listened to a book by journalist Yohan Hari recently, he seemed to be able to make a solid argument that the chemical imbalance is a red herring kinda. Though I’ll let someone better informed weigh in. It’s worth a listen too I think Batigol, called lost connections.
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Gimme the TL;DR
I’m starting to turn against the chemical imbalance idea a bit lately myself. Do a lot (probably too much) of reading into the subject.
I don’t know where this came out of though. Like I plunged down deep overnight. Absolutely awful
Keep battling horse. No one’s business what you are and aren’t doing but talk therapy, maybe somatic therapy even might be worth a shot.
You’ve a very tough job, made worse by the ineptitude and hopeless systems the bad joke that is the Irish civil service has hamstrung you with. Take it easy on yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no to the social situations if you aren’t up to it. But if you are say yes.
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