Horus - the Egyptian God of sun - or Sun God - or son of God.
First mention in around 3000B.C. Born on the 25th of December to a Virgin called Mary underneath a star from the east and adorned by 3 kings. He was a preacher by 12 and was ordained (baptized) at 30 by a prophet. He also had 12 disciples he travelled around with performing miracles such as curing the sick and walking on water. In his day he was known as the lamb of god or the light of god or the good Sheppard. He was betrayed by a good friend and was crucified and buried but after 3 days he rose from the dead.
The Egyptians would believe any old horseshit 
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The night is dark and full of terror. Winter has come.
Attis - Ancient Greece 1200BC.
Born to a virgin on Dec 25th, crucified and resurrects after 3 days.
Were any of them fond of the turkey and the pudding?
Krishna of India 900BC
Born to a virgin under a star from the east, performed miracles with his disciples and was resurrected from death.
Ah lovely. Astro-theology…one of my favorites.
Dionysus of Greece 500BC
Born to a virgin on Dec 25th, performed miracles such as turning water into wine. Known as the King of Kings or the Alpha and the Omega, was resurrected from death.
Choco lashing out at the imaginary sky fairy he is going to be kneeling in front of in homage in a few months.
Humans are a funny lot.
Mithra of Persia 1200BC
Born of a Virgin on Dec 25th, had 12 disciples, performed miracles and was resurrected after 3 days - commonly known as the light or the truth.
Not that I doubt you but would Mary have been a common (fuck it even in existence) Egyptian name circa 3000BC?
“Christianity was neither original nor unique, but that the roots of much of the Judeo/Christian tradition lay in the prevailing Kamite (ancient Egyptian) culture of the region. We are faced with the inescapable realization that if Jesus had been able to read the documents of old Egypt, he would have been amazed to find his own biography already substantially written some four or five thousand years previously.”
Gerald Massey
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That communion wafer is gonna be the highlight of the day, make sure to get a picture @caulifloweredneanderthal or anybody else lucky enough to get the fancy paper invitation.
Nothing to see here, didn’t make the impression he wanted first time so Holy God sent him for another go’round
The mother of Horus was the goddess Isis.
Epic fail from our resident historian.
And it won’t the last time either.
Listen to this and repent, you atheist cunt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99TCWaHmWKc
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