Remember if a bull is chasing you to run in zig zags, play dead and make yourself as big as possible.
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Bulls hate water so run towards water if you see any
If there’s no water around just piss yourself
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Matador training. That’s the boyo
Thanks for all the advice but like any townie faced with a rural dilemna I will probably just stand still and shit myself.
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Right, here’s the best way out of it.
Anonymously phone the cops. Tell them you witnessed a bull chasing two kids along the main road. Be fairly specific about the location.
It’s a miserable, cowardly way out, so you might want to get the missus to do it.
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Grab it and you’ll find out.
Generally, bulls are placid enough when on their own. Its when they are with their harem that they are really dangerous. If you were to read case descriptions of bull attacks, usually they happen when the farmer is trying to separate the bull from the cows i.e at milking time etc.
Having said that you can never be 100% as it is a living breathing tonne of attitude behind the nose ring so always best beware.
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Better to give the bull a wee squeeze. Just to be sure
Texted the neighbour. The bull has a sore foot. He says it’s placid and he walks him around with a rope. I’ll just make sure to put the double lock on the front door. 12000 volt tape to keep him in too. Twas electric.
if you fix his foot he’ll be your best friend. Like Fernando, or is that Lions? Either way, get close and stick your thumb up it’s hole
Balls. Docile animals /petted animals are dangerous. A dog, a car horn, a kid. A stranger etc are all enough to get a reaction out of him.
Not electric enough to keep in a placid bull with a sore foot
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I think the selfish giant is right about the oul farming, it has no future. Weather conditions that farmers can’t farm in and need government handouts according to the farmers in the last 7 or 8 months are sun, rain, wind and snow.
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Imagine they had to farm in a country that actually got extremes of weather 
The mother texted me there.
The aul lad is after driving over his phone with the tractor. Not on purpose I might add
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Told ya get should never have changed that Nokia
He’s on the same Nokia for about five year Mike.
He’s never had anything but a Nokia
He probably reckons he can fix it now
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Not such a shhhhmartphone now, is it?!
As any farmer worth his salt will tell you, it only takes one shock of d’electric fence to learn an animal to stay well clear of it. After that, any auld bit of wire will keep him in, until the next time he escapes.
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