Got involved with our young lads U9 and U11 teams this year. First U9 match happened a couple of weeks back. Thereās a little lad on the team who wouldnāt be great and would be fairly timid. He gets a world of encouragement from us all in training but is still shy.
Anyway, match kicks off, everyone is going to get a full game which is great. Within 5 mins, the young lads grandad is roaring at him from the sideline. Everything he does is wrong. Heās either in the wrong position, or not marking, or if he tries to pass it, then its a terrible pass. None of the coaches have ever seen the grandad before or really know the family so no-one says anything. The kids father is beside the grandad but says nothing. Another 2-3 mins later, the kid is in tears - canāt handle being shouted at anymore. 5 mins of crying heās walked off the pitch and asked to be taken home. No show at training the next week and a thumbs down for the match at the weekend.
After the game (we had 2 games going and I was with the other team so the above account is 2nd hand info) the 3 coaches chatted. The lads were disgusted but felt they couldnāt say anything with the match going on and because of the kids reaction it was over. The club have since sent out a message to all parents about silent sidelines and respect, not because of this but its something they send anyway at the start of every season.
Iād have seen this plenty of times in the past with kids in their teens where matches are competitive but never at such a young age. One of the coaches wants to ring the father if the kid doesnāt show to training this week to check the child is ok and basically call out the grandfather for what he did. More from the perspective that he wants to support the child and help him enjoy playing soccer and to develop. Should he do this or is he asking for trouble?
Since the child has skipped training and seems deeply affected by being yelled at, itās important for the coaches to step in and address the situation. Hereās why:
Emotional Distress
The child may not actually hate football but is responding to the emotional impact of being screamed at by a family member. Skipping practice could be a sign that he feels embarrassed, discouraged, or afraid of further negative experiences. Coaches should check in with the child to offer support and reassure him that the focus is on having fun and improving, not perfection.
Understanding the Root of the Problem
Coaches should have a private conversation with the child to understand how they truly feel about football. Is he really losing interest in the sport, or is he simply reacting to the criticism from his grandparent? This distinction is important to ensure any decisions he makes arenāt based on temporary emotions.
Rebuilding Confidence
Kids who arenāt naturally good at a sport often need encouragement and positive reinforcement. A good coach can help rebuild the childās confidence by emphasizing personal growth and small wins rather than focusing on performance. The child might still enjoy football but feels inadequate after being harshly criticized.
Re-engaging the Child
Coaches can also try to re-engage the child by making practice more enjoyable or offering one-on-one guidance. If he feels supported, he may want to return and continue playing, especially if he associates the sport with fun and improvement rather than pressure and criticism.
Monitoring Long-Term Feelings
If, after these efforts, the child still skips practice or expresses a strong desire to quit, it could be a sign that heās genuinely lost interest in football. But itās important to give him the chance to make that decision after receiving the right support, rather than letting one negative incident define his choice.
In conclusion, the coaches should definitely step in, as the childās current feelings may be more about the emotional fallout than a true dislike for football. By offering understanding and encouragement, they can help the child decide whether football is something he still enjoys.