The Terrible Joke Thread

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It’s easy buy a Christmas present for my uncle Ben every year.

UB

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

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It’s the World Cup final of the greatest liar of all time competition.
Ireland provide both finalists (quelle surprise) . Tie-break lie…

Mick: I’ve swam up Niagara Falls backwards, dressed as Batman, doing the backstroke…

Paddy: I know, I was watching you.

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Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots.

He was picking his nose

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I bought a pair of shoes from an ex drug dealer. I don’t know how they were laced because I was tripping all day

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Cheers @iron_mike

How do Jews celebrate CHRISTMAS?
They install parking meters on the roof

vile

Just heard this today, had to search the thread to see if it’d been posted.
Gutted.

Thankfully @myboyblue has cleared that up. I couldn’t understand why he/she had to be an ex drug dealer.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

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The wife got terrible depressed by the storm last night. She was standing by the window for hours.
I suppose I better let her back in

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I remember many christmases ago when I was in my early teens and my mother asked me what I wanted for christmas. I told here I wanted a pair of new jeans and something to play with.

So she bought me the jeans and cut the pockets out of them

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Pal of mine is a rouge. Going out with two anorexic girls.

Two birds. One stone.

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red face for you there pal

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All my attention was on that punch (and Judy) line.

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