The Terrible Joke Thread

There’s one thing I hate about Halloween, which is….

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Two lads were chatting in Belfast one day.

I’m thinking of joining the Lemon Order.

Don’t you mean the Orange Order?

No - they are far more bitter than that.

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At lunch time I ramped my motorcycle over ten cars in the parking lot. My boss fired me on the spot, to be fair, he had warned me about pulling stunts like that

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A friend of mine has been offering me free Scuba Diving lessons for years now and has told me we can start next week.

I’m not going to hold my breath.

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I’ve got really bad cold feet.

A pal of mine recommended acupuncture. Helps the circulation.

I met him a few months later.

How did ya find the acupuncture?

I didn’t go. I got cold feet.

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I met a guy.

I want to learn to do the splits.

How flexible are you?

I can’t do Tuesdays and Thursdays.

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aint nobody got time for that GIF

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Which breed is a magic dog?

Labracadabrador

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A guy was driving down the N7 with his sexy girlfriend and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from Limerick”

“Why do you think that ?” he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says

"…stit ruoy su wohs”

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