Thereâs one thing I hate about Halloween, which isâŚ.
3 Likes
Two lads were chatting in Belfast one day.
Iâm thinking of joining the Lemon Order.
Donât you mean the Orange Order?
No - they are far more bitter than that.
1 Like
At lunch time I ramped my motorcycle over ten cars in the parking lot. My boss fired me on the spot, to be fair, he had warned me about pulling stunts like that
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A friend of mine has been offering me free Scuba Diving lessons for years now and has told me we can start next week.
Iâm not going to hold my breath.
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Iâve got really bad cold feet.
A pal of mine recommended acupuncture. Helps the circulation.
I met him a few months later.
How did ya find the acupuncture?
I didnât go. I got cold feet.
2 Likes
I met a guy.
I want to learn to do the splits.
How flexible are you?
I canât do Tuesdays and Thursdays.
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Which breed is a magic dog?
Labracadabrador
4 Likes
A guy was driving down the N7 with his sexy girlfriend and she piped up,
"I think those people in the car next to us are from Limerickâ
âWhy do you think that ?â he said.
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says
"âŚstit ruoy su wohsâ
4 Likes
I was in the cemetery the other day and I saw a few lads going round and round carrying a coffin.
An hour later I saw them at the same carry on.
I thought âTheyâve lost the fucking plot!â
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My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone.
So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievable sexy sister was sitting next to me.
A few moments later she whispered to me âwe should have sex while my sister isnât home.â
I immediately got up and turned around to head back to my car.
I found my girlfriend standing by the door, she hugged me and said âyouâve won my trustâ.
Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your carâŚ
8 Likes
I broke my finger the other day.
But on the other hand Iâm fine.
It begs the question.
Was it the hole finger?
