Went into the pub, seen it was darts night.
I did a 180 and walked outâŚ
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You whatâs annoyin
An upside down 6
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I have 2 tickets for Man Utd vs Newcastle at Old Trafford tomorrow night if anyone wants them. Decent seats, and both in the shallow end.
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Seems logical enough seeing as Ken himself is dead six years now.
Ken Dodd could barely say it when he was alive
What did the horse say to the one legged jockey?
How are ya getting on.
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Where is Messi from? Messico.
A joke truly deserving of this thread.
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Well I just saw a Facebook ad for some website selling stuff influenced by the muslim faith and allah etc. So prayer mats etc. One item was a Palestine themed bomber jacket. Bomber jacketâŚ.
What do you call somebody who used to like powerful motor vehicles with large rear wheels, used chiefly on farms for hauling equipment and trailers but isnât all that bothered about them any more?
an extractor fan 
just spent 300 quid on a limousine, then discovered the fee doesnât include a driver.
I canât believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it
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Did I tell you the joke about the one-armed altar boy?
No?
Really?
Are you sure?
Doesnât ring a bellâŚ?
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Should he not have no arms? Unless itâs some form of gong he has to operate
Shit. Youâre right. I transcribed it incorrectly.
Too late to edit it now.
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Did I tell you the joke about the altar boy with no arms�
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Doesnât ring two bells?