Iāve resisted the desire to tell you to go andā¦ā¦.
Iāll admit the phrase crossed my mind but thereās no need for nastinessā¦.
My mate is a taxi driver in Liverpool and he picked these 2 Chinese businessmen men up from Manchester Airport yesterday and drove them to the Crown Plaza at Man Island they got out the taxi and went into the hotel.
When he drove off he noticed they had left a brief case on the back seat.
He opened the case and discovered Ā£60,000 in cash.
Tommy a very religious lad and as honest as the day is long took the case back to the hotel and ask which room the men were in.
Reception rang their room and they came down and could not thank him enough.
They offered him Ā£1,000 which he wouldnāt take but eventually agreed to take Ā£100.
They said you have been very kind and we are here for the Grand Nationalā¦. Put your Ā£100 on these 2 horses and you will win big.
They have gone Ā£15000 ew on both horses. Good Luck everyone
Here are the 2 Horses
4.00 Aintree
天å°å¤©å°ēé»å¤©å°ēé»
天å°ēé»å¤©å°ēé»
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Oh, I get it, there is no 4.00 in Aintree today
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I translated that for you to help you out.
Heaven and earth, dark yellow, heaven and earth, dark yellow
The sky and the earth are dark and yellow The sky and the earth are dark and yellow
Theyāre very long names for horses.
Thatās a first. A terrible, terrible joke.
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The good news about erectile dysfunction is that it can be cured by diet and exercise.
The bad news is trying to get your wife to diet and exercise.
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When I was young my fairy godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory.
I canāt remember what I chose.
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A pen doctor showed up at my flat last night. She had travelled all the way from Madrid to fix my broken Biro. āI didnāt expect youā, I said. āNobody expects the Spanish ink physicianā, she repliedā¦
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Thatās awful.
I love it
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An English, a French, a Spanish, and a German person sat in the back of a club. The guy on stage asked if they can see him. They said:
āYes, oui si ja.ā
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Put all my old dogging gear up for sale on eBay today.
No bids yet but Iāve got 12 people watching.
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Loads of non binary people have gone prospecting.
Theyāve heard that thereās gold in them/their hills.
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What countryās capital is growing the fastest?
Ireland, as every day itās Dublin.
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I got that ājokeā in a Christmas cracker a good 55 years ago.
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I texted the missus can we have a quickie before go out tonight?
She texted back, yeah of course we can.
So Iāve got home all excited and thereās a bloody quiche on the table
Doublin Dublin was the motto of a lot of foreign financial firms
Living with a flatmate whoās bulemic. Sheās forever waking me up during the night with her vomiting. Only stops when I knock on the wall and ask her to keep it down.
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At the shop today,the cashier said,
āStrip down facing meā
Apparently she was referring to my credit card.
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