You donāt have to be asked twice Iād say.
Lawnmower ran out of petrol this evening. Threw in a bit of vodka to try and finish it. Now my garden is half cut
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Got stopped for speeding myself last weekā¦He said why was I in such a rushā¦??
I work in the hospital and Iām late I repliedā¦
What do you do in the hospital he asked??
Iām a rectum stretcher i replied.
What does that entail the guard asked smirking??
Well I start with one fingerā¦then twoā¦then a whole handā¦then two hands till I get it about 6 feet!!
And what the hell would you do with a 6 foot arsehole he replied laughing??
Youād give him a speed gun and stand him behind a bush i saidā¦
A good one but I saw the punchline coming.
1 Like
Probably a bit long for here also. Will do better the next time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiotās house
Knock knock
whoās there?
The chicken
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Q: Why do Swedish warships have QR codes on their sides?
A: So that they can Scandinavian.
5 Likes