The Weirdo Thread

Was going to post this in the all encompassing ‘Things that are Wrong’ but thought it merited it’s own thread for similar tales of encounters with weirdos.

I had an utterly bizarre encounter with one of these just this evening as I made my way home from work. I was walking up Andrew Street (think that’s the name of it - the one opposite O’Neills pub) and a young lad (I would say maybe 21) popped out from a doorway with a bike, straight in front of me.

‘Do you wanna buy me bike?’

In shock, I move around the weirdo and keep walking.

‘I said do you want to buy me bike. Fuck you, am I black?’

Then he appeared to throw something in my direction which made a type of boom sound.

He continued.

‘Am I black? Am I black? Fuck you.’

I was well gone at this stage and could still hear him roaring. Then I couldn’t hear him anymore.

Then I was walking outside Dakota and he pulls up beside me on the bike and asks if I remember him. His eyes were all over shop and was obviously out of it. Not wanting to engage this maniac at all, I stared straight ahead and kept walking.

‘I’ll follow you home if I have to. Am I fucking black?’

‘Am I fucking black? Am I fucking black?’

‘Fuck you’.

Then he cycled away.

Nutter.

I’d look outside your front window if I was you. The chances are he follwed you home and is waiting for you to leave the house. Lock all the doors. Lock all the windows. You could well be in danger. The cops don’t deal with people like that. Contact your local Ra.

Maybe you should have told him you didn’t want to buy the bike instead of being such a bollix?

Farmer, next time I ask you if you want to buy my bike I’m expecting an answer.

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I had a similar experience with a beggar recently. He was one of these in your face beggars.

“Ah man give us a few pence there will ya”. Walked passed him anyway, and he lost it. Saying all sorts of shit.Followed me for about two blocks screaming and shouting, I eventually lost him in the street though. Lucky enough because I was about to piss myself.

Was he black?

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Farmer being pure ignorant

He probably just got excited when he saw the first ever potential buyer for his bike.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, did you ever think about becoming a comedian rocko??

have you ever thought about going into the family business…prostitution

Face sitting on offer.

I’m sitting looking out the 25th floor(*) window of the gaff. There’s a taller building across the way. About 70m away as the crow flies.
For the last 15 minutes, there’s been a dog walking back and forth along the outside of a set of railings on the roof of said buildings. Not sure what the fuck is going on but two things are sure:
i) He’s not bothered by the 30 odd storey drop only a pawslip away.
ii) Some cunt put him there but I’ve yet to see the person.

Dog still on the ledge but not pacing at present.

Unbelievably, he was joined by a black cat at one stage.

Mental scenes.

Dog gone. I repeat dog is gone.

My latest theory is that there’s an egress from a high penthouse window which is visible.

Either that or it’s a trick dog.

RIP Chinese Rover. He’s gone to a better place - a Korean restaurant.

I hear there are some psycho biting midgets down in Clare.

Too easy…

Sad to hear Davy has resorted to biting though…

Mushrooms grow in gardens but not in rooms. Mush.

Not sure why you didn’t just say ‘No thanks bud’ to this lad Farmer. That usually puts matters to bed fairly quickly. By not answering you didn’t treat him like a human being, far more likely to antagonise one of these eccentric chaps than a swift response in the negative I find.

This is all very true. More often than not you will make the situation far worse by being ignorant. There’s more than a fair share of lunatics who frequent the pubs around home and can be an absolute plague but usually by just acknowledging them and saying something like “fair play to ya” they will go away happy. Beggars are the same, I usually just say “na man” to requests for spare change and have never had any abuse thrown back at me.

Edit: Disregard all the above for those charity collectors. They deserve neither time nor acknowledgment.