Congratulations on your nuptials brian, you should have let us know.
After a great day in malahide castle me and the family happened upon malahide vs carlow in cricket.no better sport in the sun
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Wife waking up in pain after dental work today despite Boxty applying 3-4 shots of brandy (to her).
Further medicinal brandies applied in ratio of 1/3 (Her/Me). Dawn about to break, birds singing and Archie Roach playing in the background.
I’m up for the day…
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Fantastic to see you rising early and drunk as well Boxty.
I knocked out a fly there a while ago and it felt good. It was one of them rotten bluebottle cunts. I went into my jacks before bed and he was flying around making a right racket inside there. He started doing loops then of the light bulb in the middle of the room dazzled by the bright lights so i shaped up and analysed his flight plan. He starts buzzing towards me as i’m stood there in a south paw stance. After watching him for fifteen or twenty seconds i felt i had the measure of him and next time he came around BOOM i landed a perfect punch with my right onto his jaw. Down he went straight away to the canvass lying out cold on his back with his six legs motionless in the air. I don’t like killing things if i can avoid it at all, karma and all that, so rather than stomp him into the ground i gently picked him up and threw him out the top window. He’ll come round i’m sure in a few hours and fly off to somewhere new. I wish him well for the future.
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A heart-warming tale of decisiveness mixed with compassion. One thing, the floor in your jacks is canvas?
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What a post. It does give me a weird sense of deja-vu though…
Did the bluebottle fly out of his ear? I remember a simple god help us type poster who used to hang around here tell us before about how he cultivated moths in his ears.
People I don’t know paying me money over the internet. Yariba yariba.
PayPal just sent your way mate. I’ve been wanting to get a wind-up porcelain cat that plays “how much is that doggy in the window” since seeing it on Only Fools and Horses when I was a kid.
Done and done. And I’ll throw in a slightly damaged whoopee cushion for good measure.
Wahey! I can’t wait to bring it into work.
sleeping with the window open and no underpants on its so close
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My eldest one got her school report yesterday, I only ever check the comments section to see if they’re behaving themselves and don’t bother too much with the academic stuff. It’s only primary after all. Anyhow Mrs Bradley looked at this SIGMA T shit bit of it, it’s an academic measurement for some subjects and the maths were bordering on below average, so she asked me to mention it to her.
I’d reluctantly did as i hate to worry kids over that stuff.
Anyhow she says 'it’s ok Dad, sure that test was the day after we knocked Borris out of the championship, sure how could I think about maths that day '.
I got a laugh out of it anyway. Her heart is in the right place.
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I’m not doubting you in the least mate but it is generally policy not to run these tests on Monday, I’d say the young one was pulling the wool over your eyes, she’ll never get the 525 points in the leaving that is the minimum requirement for you not to be ashamed of her if she continues on this path.
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Who mentioned a Monday ?
Also I’d rather a child that’s happy and balanced to a results robot.
The academic stuff will be done when needs be. Give them a happy childhood now and worry about serious exams when they come along.
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She’s mugged you right off there, pal.
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I know. She mugs me off at least 10 times per day. Sure what can I do.
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Sure i know the way mate. I have a decade of muggings ahead of me.
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That was a very serious answer to my tongue in cheek reply 
One of my kids has a little pal from playschool, a little boy and he’s a gas cunt altogether, he must be sitting with his old fella watching football non stop, he’s got an opinion on everything football related, obviously parroting what his dad says. He was in our house the other day and I got a great kick out of him, giving out yards about Ronaldo’s comments after Iceland, he’s barely 4 years old and has a thick Limerick accent, ‘sure what did he expect them to do, it doesn’t even get bright in the Wintertime up there’ 
I’ve only got girls
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