I can’t tell whether she was a midget or not but a normal sized head screams “not a dwarf” to me. I can’t recall it 100% from the Office either but think it’s the dwarf with the odd sized limbs and head and a midget is just small. This one sounds weird though if it’s just a small torso.
Kerlogue, thanks for the sterling work on the formula. On the DART home yesterday I had this flash of nerves when I realised I hadn’t checked the formula for negative integers or small numbers like 1 and zero so got a bit panicked but was delighted to find out that it worked.
Feel sort of sorry for Appendage, it was a brave effort.
[quote=“Mac”]What the fuck? How is it only second degree murder?
Any of yez ever fall asleep on a bus only to wake up with a sort of a jump? Always used to happen me on the bus home from college and more often than not I’d hit the person sitting beside me with a trailing elbow. Often happens on planes as well.[/quote]
When I used to use the bus this happened to me once (Friday evening coming home from College). Woke up with a shout, everyone looking at me, drool coming out the side of the mouth. Now I can’t sleep on public transport: Buses, trains, planes, nothing! Cunt of a thing especially on the planes. Akin to getting pushed in the back while taking a piss, wetting your chino’s and getting stage fright from then on (not that this happened to me, honest)
Two incidents I recall from the DART in years gone by:
Got off the DART as normal and there was a good crowd getting off as it was rush hour. Some businessman bloke realised he forgot something and went back to the DART to get it - think it was a briefcase. Doors started shutting. Now you can usually stop the doors but you do it with your foot or with your hands. This bloke stuck his head in between the doors as though he’d be able to duck through them. Doors shut on his neck and driver doesn’t notice and starts moving the train.
I’d love to say it wasn’t funny at the time but it was fucking hilarious. Another guy was with me and there was a guy we sort of half knew from school that was nearby and he were in creases laughing. The stuck bloke’s wife or girlfriend was with him and she was screaming. The train only went about 10 yards before the driver was alerted to the pandimonium and stopped. But for those 10 yards I don’t think I’ve ever seen such panic. Your man was getting ready to fucking sprint to stop killing himself.
Less funny but more personal was the time I was on the crowded DART. Stood in the aisle between seats listening to music with hands in the pockets. DART came to a sudden stop. I started falling forward. Instantly took my right hand out of my pocket (where it was clenched around keys) and made a grab for the bar on the seat nearest me. Didn’t get a chance to either open the fist or make contact with the bar and I ended up punching this middle aged woman right on the cheek. Everyone knew it was an accident so I was ok but Christ I felt bad for her. She’d no bruise or anything I don’t think. I must punch like a girl.
[quote=“therock67”]I can’t tell whether she was a midget or not but a normal sized head screams “not a dwarf” to me. I can’t recall it 100% from the Office either but think it’s the dwarf with the odd sized limbs and head and a midget is just small. This one sounds weird though if it’s just a small torso.
[/quote]
A midget is a small person in proportion.
A dwarf has ridiculously short limbs in comparison to the rest of their body - big head etc.
Don’t know what gerrardno1 was explaining but I am even more disturbed to discover that he found it hot.
At all the stations on the Galway Dublin train line there are cheesy posters of a bloke playing the drums with the caption Its all about timing. The text underneath then goes on to inform us that between Month X and Month Y 97.9% of trains were reliable and 94.5% were punctual
Now. Reliable is defined in the small print as running according to plan.
Because a greater proportion of trains ran according to plan than were punctual, the clear implication of these marvellous statistics is that Iarnrd Eireann actually planned for a proportion of services to run late. Fair play.
[quote=“therock67”]I can’t tell whether she was a midget or not but a normal sized head screams “not a dwarf” to me. I can’t recall it 100% from the Office either but think it’s the dwarf with the odd sized limbs and head and a midget is just small. This one sounds weird though if it’s just a small torso.
Kerlogue, thanks for the sterling work on the formula. On the DART home yesterday I had this flash of nerves when I realised I hadn’t checked the formula for negative integers or small numbers like 1 and zero so got a bit panicked but was delighted to find out that it worked.
Feel sort of sorry for Appendage, it was a brave effort.[/quote]
Won’t work for zero,zero isn’t an integer.Sorry to be a pain in the ass.
I’d take a guess that its something to do with the amount of foreigners taking the bus now but I’d be afraid to say any more in case I’m accused of being a racist again http://www.thefreekick.com/board/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif
A taxi isn’t really public transport but I had an embarrassing moment earlier.
I went to Death of a Salesman in the Gate* this evening. I purchased a sandwich from a shop near my work, then got in a taxi and asked the driver to bring me to the Gate Theatre. Conversation went as follows:
“Gate Theatre please.”
“Sure thing. O’Connell Street way ok?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“What’s on?”
“Death of a Salesman”
“Ah that’s right. It’s a good one.”
“It is alright.”
“…” semi-incoherent mumble with inflected tone at the end “…?”
“Sorry?”
“Are you…” followed by semi-incoherent mumble with inflected tone at the end “…?”
“Eh… yeah” (guess at the answer to a question I didn’t hear)
“Really? What part?”
“Eh just a small one.”
“One of the sons?”
“No, the friend.”
“And do you wear that suit in it?”
“Eh, no.”
“So what’s the suit for?”
“Ah I needed it for something earlier.”
“I knew you were an actor when I saw the sandwich.”
“Ah yeah. Eh why?”
“Just thought you’d eat the sandwich before you went on stage. Fill you up like.”
“Yeah that’s it.”
“Will I bring you to the stage door?”
“Eh no thanks. Main entrance will do fine.”
“I’ve an umbrella in the boot if you want it. Don’t want you going on stage wet.”
“Ah I’ll be grand. We have towels in the dressing room.”
“Great.”
Wouldn’t take the full fare and promised he’d go to see the play this week.
Lesson is: don’t guess the answer to a question you haven’t heard properly. I was terribly embarrassed in the taxi, I felt like I’d deceived him.