Those Funny Things That Boggers Do

I’ve said before these people crack me up with some of the things they do.

Boggers will:

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches. One bogger beside us at Wexford-Laois earlier this summer even opened up a can of tuna and started dipping his hands into it and eating away on it.
  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.
  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.
  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.

Thankfully, I’ve avoided lazy stereotypes and making silly generalisations but they provide sensational inadvertent comedy all the same. At the game on Sunday, I was able to observe from a distance as Wexford weren’t involved and I was in the bits laughing at their carry on.

Feel free to add to the list. I will.

we will see how many i do:

Boggers will:

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
    has been done
  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches.
  • One bogger beside us at Wexford-Laois earlier this summer opened up a can of tuna and started dipping his hands into it and eating away on it.

no…only the tipp crowd do this…but i know a few auld boys who would bring tins a salmon and sandwiches to the pub…save them going home for them

  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.

not yet

  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
    yes

  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
    yes…although knocked this on the head thankfully

  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.

no…

  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
    well chief/well lad…same thing

  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
    no…

  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
    no…only the tipp crowd do this

  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
    yes

  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
    no…but the auld lad would be like this

  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
    in the evening

  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
    fact…

  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.
    has been done…

Ya cant drive home from town at 4 anymore, youl be caught. Get a few hours kip, or find a few soft townies to bate, and drive home at 6 when the law are changing shifts.

Boggers will:

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.

Yes

  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches.

As Puke said, this is the relam of the Tipp fan

  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.

No, put have had a few scuffles with em in my younger days

  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.

And how…

  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.

It’s been done

  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.

No… You forgot the big belt buckle as well.

  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.

Only if I’m greeting Gerry “The Chief”

  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.

No

  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.

Tipp

  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.

Obviously

  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.

No, I’ll watch the foreign channels too

  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.

No, the auld ones would though

  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.

Nope

  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.

Sure what else is there to do of a saturday afternoon?

Lets see.

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
    Not in a long time, but yes. House of pain and Ram Jam caused a lot of hassle once upon a time.

  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches.
    Yes, But not a Gear bag and not during the match itself.

  • Kill travelers that trespass on their property.
    Not yet, but do remember having some thrown out of a niteclub some years back for causing trouble. They three of them were then in a car crash on the way home.

  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
    Happened very rarely with me. But there was always a few involved in this most nights.

  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
    Not in a very long time. Got stopped on the way from a niteclub to an after hours bar one night because someone going in the opposite direction had just crashed and was blocking some of the road. Garda was giving out yards about drink driving and me trying not to breadth in his direction.

  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.
    Never

  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
    No

  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
    No

  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
    No, even though from Tipperary.

  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
    No

  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
    Don’t really watch TV that much

  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
    sometimes

  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
    Not when playing. You tend to piss the ref off if you do that, not a good idea in rugby as they can reverse decisions for bad language or giving out.

  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.
    Sometimes

You are missing ont of the most important.

Where someone from the country, but in or near the village itself, calls someone from further out a culchie/bogger

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
    Long time ago but yes
  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches.
    God yeah. Got a txt off the brother watching the match overseas, said I was a lucky bastard to be tucking into the sambos at half time of the minor game
  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.
    not done
  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
    I’m a pacifist and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise
  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
    Never did it
  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.
    Not by me but know the boys, yes.
  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
    Doesn’t everyone??
  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
    I have soft hands
  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
    Done it
  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
    Do it
  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
    No, Bog 1 is muck
  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
    I’d know people who do that, yes
  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
    ha ha ha
  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.
    a dying art that’s you’d only see on the odd occasion these days, pity

Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
Once or twice - not often though

  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches.
    Never partook in such an event nor did I ever see it to be honest

  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.
    No. Another thing here could be defending people who kill travellers that trespass on their property and I would say that this is done no more so in the country than in the city

  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
    Never did it but it happens. Boy racer cars as well

  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
    Drove with drink on me on a few ocassions but never that late. It is not happening down the country as much as it used to that is for sure

  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.
    That is the hard core country lads. Do I know such people - yes.

  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
    Not specifically country based that one

  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
    Haven’t seen it or smelled it that often

  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
    Never ever. Haven’t seen it being done either.

  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
    Definitely - the definition of a bogger

  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
    Yeah happens - particularly amongst older country people.

  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
    Oh yes. My auld one listens to the summary death notices at 8am in the morning and the more detailed ones at 9am in case someone died in the meantime

  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
    No more so than anyone else.

  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.
    Yeah - I’ve seen this happening

A few other things we do:

  • Have abnormally large hands (blokes at least)
  • Combovers
  • Wear caps
  • Never miss Mass (even if that means standing outside the church chatting the entire time)
  • Know the local priest in the parish
  • Gather outside the church after Mass to unmercifully bitch about people
  • Give Christmas drinks
  • Have liberal closing times
  • Go to removals (not funerals) and have a pint after them
  • Wonder what undertaker ‘has’ a removal sometimes more so than wondering who has died
  • Combining the following roles - undertaker, publican and local councillor

More will come to me no doubt…

We forgot the most obvious one.

Boggers will:

  • Have consensual sexual intercourse with family members.

[quote=“Bandage”]We forgot the most obvious one.

Boggers will:

  • Have consensual sexual intercourse with family members.[/quote]

no your completely wrong there bandage…thats the level below a bogger…they are what we call in east clare “rednecks”

I’ve said before these people crack me up with some of the things they do.
A bit like the craic inside the ladies toilets when hard up loosers are hovering outside. Now ye know why women go to the loo in pairs

  • Have shouldering each other competitions in nightclubs.
    Never seen it, doesn’t happen with the company I keep
  • Bring gearbags full of sandwiches into GAA grounds and scoff away on them during matches. One bogger beside us at Wexford-Laois earlier this summer even opened up a can of tuna and started dipping his hands into it and eating away on it.
    Thats a lie, a bogger wouldn’t eat tuna; he/she’d open a tin of beans and use the spoon from their ice cream tub. What do you eat at games? Can I guess; 4 hot dogs, share size taytos (2 bags); 1.5 ltr of Club Orange, a bag of wine gums and two ice burgers. But you know what bandy, if you met a woman who wouldn’t mind seeing your kitchen in the mornings she might put together a nice BLT on brown with low fat butter for your picnic
  • Kill travellers that trespass on their property.
    Travellers don’t stop on my road
  • Come into ‘town’ on a Saturday night and get into loads of fights outside chippers.
    Here in Jack land they’re called Take Aways
  • Then drink-drive back home at 4am.
    Happens here too, but usually more likely with elected officials
  • Wear black slip-on shoes, drainpipe Wrangler jeans and check shirts tucked in when they’re out on the pull.
    You forgot the 20 Carrolls, the black shell rope around the neck, and the razer cuts under the ears.
  • Say, ‘Well chief?’ when they meet someone they know.
    They know important people, and they haven’t gotten used to Taoiseach and Minister yet
  • Have black fingernails from working on the land and a smell of silage in their kitchens.
    Around here we call them Fingal Residents
  • Stop at the side of the road on the way home from matches and drink flasks of tea.
    Yup, but I prefer to use my silver Tiffany Hip Flash while on move
  • Give out yards about Dublin and the stuff that goes on up there.
    We give out more about the people that live here, Poles, Lituanians, Chinese; because they drive rusty cars that cut out in Terenure Village all the time. Although Arabs and Muslims are exempt from City Dwellers ire because they’re doing Med in RCSI. But our new eastern european brothers and sisters do know how to make Latte and they enjoy better manners than indigenous residents. Ever see a Lituanian going to the Spar in her pj’s? But all that aside all urbanites would love to see the Boggers back in the city’s bars
  • Refuse to watch any station other than RTE 1.
    6.1 news and Mark Little. Nothing else worth watching.
  • Listen to the death notices every morning on local radio.
    What channel? Or are you being unfair to 2FM? I must admit Your east coast wit has me bamboozled Bandy.
  • Berate referees with foul language and then complain about filth and bad language on the television.
    In fairness, Joe Duffy is a Dub; Radio 1 is run and staffed from Dublin 4. The National Broadcaster has to provide some public information notices; it can’t all be about getting roses to grow in Dun Laoghaire
  • Stand on the side of the road outside their houses and watch traffic going by.
    One of the National Pastimes, like GAA and Rugbee; a 32 county affair; bagging it as the preserve of boggers is untrue and snobbish Bandy. Avril Doyle would be proud of you I know, but fair is fair.

Thankfully, I’ve avoided lazy stereotypes and making silly generalisations but they provide sensational inadvertent comedy all the same.
At the game on Sunday, I was able to observe from a distance as Wexford weren’t involved and I was in the bits laughing at their carry on.
And you, the handsome suave high earning old Belvo boy still living in Clontarf that you are, is easily entertained.

Hadn’t read the last few posts on this last week. I think Mire was trying to be cutting in the last one! You’d know Farmer was from a traditional ‘one game, defeat and then you’re out of the championship’ county (prior to that increasing to 2 games with the advent of the qualifiers) if he says he’s never seen boggers eat sandwiches at GAA games.

Another one that came to mind earlier; boggers will:

  • Spit on their hands and then use the greener to style their hair in the manner they so desire.

I know two boggers who hijacked a forklift, hotwired it (ie stuck a bit of a screwdriver into the ignition, that usually works) and drove it from Bulgaden to Bruff to get home from a nightclub. They were stopped by the guards after about two miles.

Heard a story about a guy stealing a tractor to get to a nightclub and had his bird in it with him. The guards stopped him and yer man legged it across fields. Apparently when the cops returned to the tractor they found the bird ‘sitting in the driver’s seat patiently waiting for her beau to return’.

Another one I noticed some Ulster boggers auld lads at our recent matches versus Tyrone and Armagh doing was:

  • Wearing their county jersey to games (fair enough) and wearing an open-buttoned sports coat over it (hilarious).

Boggers.

what about the oul’ bogger going into a match in thurles or limerick on a baking hot summers day with the piece of twine being used as a belt to hold up his suit trousers and he farting dirty guinness farts from last night’s fill as the packed crowd filters through the turnstiles grasping for air…fcukin rank…

How about a load of boggers hopping the heads off each other on the terrace in Limerick on Munster Hurling Final day. Thats fairly bogger-ific now I must say.

Hanging out around jacks doors in nightclubs is fairly boggertastic too.

Thought of another one. Boggers will:

  • Spend hours leaning on gates looking at sheep and cows in fields.

A lot of boggers are the nosiest fuckers you’ll ever meet. A lot of the time this is related to the wealth of another bogger neighbour.

Eg. “I wonder where he got the money for that new slatted shed” or “I see he has a few sites up for sale, wonder what he needs the money for”

Boggers will

Bate the shite outta gays and that, You’d often hear of a townie lad that was after “coming out” and that would be the topic of conversation, “What would you do if your young fellow turned up gay?” would be asked “I’d bate it outta him” would be the answer.

Townie lads with spiked, bleached hair and silver jeans and womens shoes are beyond saving.