What about a bit of TFK value on the bog?
[quote=âBenSherminâ]Churchill Value!
I can only use urinals when Iâm pished, stage fright gets the better of me, besides Iâm not a big fan of piss splashing off the stainless steel, it canât be very sanitary!
As for taking a dump, itâs always the middle cubicle for me, when you think about it the majority of people use either the toilet closest to the front door or furthest away; most of you have just admitted that. This can only mean the middle cubicles are the cleanest, their bog roll supplies will also be plentiful![/quote]
Iâm that sick fucker that leaves a monster dump in the jacks unflushed - just so all can see my excellent work.
I also piss anywhere.
and I will sidle up beside anyone in the urinals just to annoy them.
[quote=âDonkeyTailâ]Iâm that sick fucker that leaves a monster dump in the jacks unflushed - just so all can see my excellent work.
I also piss anywhere.
and I will sidle up beside anyone in the urinals just to annoy them.[/quote]
So itâs donkey spunk Iâm seeing all over the public toilets!
Speeking of toilets, whatâs the best toilet in Dublin? For me it has to be the Sackville lounge, one of the few inner city pub toilets to have a Ben Shermin seal of approval.
The Conrad Hotel and the Burlington.
my favourite is the music room in trinity college; third door on your right as you enter the college.
itâs great, hearing lovely classical music whilst you destroy old school marble toilets.
that or the one in the civil engineering building - itâs like a spaceship.
Just back from an afternoon visit to the toilet. Cubicle 1 was occupied so I went into Cubicle 4 instead. It was there that I noticed something particularly sick. There was a clump of used toilet roll, i.e. covered with excrement, on the ground beside the jacks. Somebody had obviously carelessly missed the toilet and just left it there. I was loath to move in one and end up closer to Cubicle 1 so I gave the shit stained bog roll a kick under the side partition over towards 3 and 2. It got me thinking how sick some people are. I can understand someone being locked in a nightclub and pissing on a toilet seat but certain folk are animals in work when theyâre obviously sober. I often go into the toilet to be met with a piss soaked seat and / or floor, the sight of an unflushed toilet with shit full nearly to the top and last week I even went into Cubicle 1 and there was actually shit on the seat itself. Surely these people arenât like that in their own homes but it amazes me what can happen in a toilet. Thereâs the basis for a thesis or some type of research paper on this topic.
no - never do it at home.
Anyone ever had a âhard crapâ? You know the one where you had to hold onto it for ages and when you finally get to let go it rips ya to bits. Sick I know but it happens. Surely the closest we have come to feeling the pain of childbirth!
yes!
ever do a dump with a clean wipe? known as a dump with âno paperworkâ!
[quote=âBenSherminâ]Churchill Value!
I can only use urinals when Iâm pished, stage fright gets the better of me, besides Iâm not a big fan of piss splashing off the stainless steel, it canât be very sanitary!
As for taking a dump, itâs always the middle cubicle for me, when you think about it the majority of people use either the toilet closest to the front door or furthest away; most of you have just admitted that. This can only mean the middle cubicles are the cleanest, their bog roll supplies will also be plentiful![/quote]
I agree on the middle cubicle. This is the one I go to also, for the same reasons. I two play with the games on my phone. JC does Texas might sound like a p0rn but itâs a good game. Have completed it twice already and now on my third go.
[quote=âDonkeyTailâ]yes!
ever do a dump with a clean wipe? known as a dump with âno paperworkâ![/quote]
Or âPhantom Dumpâ
Knew a guy (not me) who used to straddle a jack and let rip. Shit stains all down the back of the jacks. Dirty fooker
Great value in a hard crap once it gets out of the arse area, you get to look at your magnificent achievement for a moment as it proudly floats on the water! The fookin worst thing is when you have a hard dump and it comes out of your hole at such speed that the dives into the water and down the drain, you stand up to look at your achievement and itâs fucking gone. Itâs like running a marathon and not getting a medal!
Classic analogy there Shermin.
[quote=âDonkeyTailâ]yes!
ever do a dump with a clean wipe? known as a dump with âno paperworkâ![/quote]
It was my shite Father, I just didnât want to fill out the forms.
thereâs also the âlike a flock of seagullsâ dump. doesnât require much explaination.
Yeah the flock of seagulls tends to happen after a night on the Guinness
Flock of seagulls dump is a close relative of the flutter of pigeons dump.
Speaking of Guinness - that must be the worst type of shite anyone can have. Youâd want to put the bog roll in the fridge before you go out or else leave the Johnsons baby wipes out.
Always find it funny after a night out when you go for your first or second dump and theres a smell of booze off it. Usually a sign that the hangover is on its way out!
[quote=âMacâ]Speaking of Guinness - that must be the worst type of shite anyone can have. Youâd want to put the bog roll in the fridge before you go out or else leave the Johnsons baby wipes out.
Always find it funny after a night out when you go for your first or second dump and theres a smell of booze off it. Usually a sign that the hangover is on its way out![/quote]
That smell of booze off the Guinness shit is magical; the only thing that beats it is the extractor fan of an Indian restaurant.
As for analogies Bandage, I seem to be very good at them when talking shite!
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Or the âPlay-Doh Dumpâ where it comes out in one big long lump
