Toilet Etiquette at Work

I will wank when and where the mood takes me you utter cunt. Including your daughters faceā€¦

It takes a special type of uncouth loser to wank at work.

A whale at work today came in and announced to the whole office that sheā€™d broken the handle on the ladies toilet trying to flush it and it would remain out of order for the day until a man came to fix it. She was nearly harpooned there and then.

Went into the jacks in work the other afternoon to be greeted by this sight in the cubicle. Some fucking animal seemed to have eaten a ckicken and stuffing sandwich and a Double Decker for their lunch on the bog.

Two cubicles in our workplace. Iā€™m in one. And a maintenance guy has just arrived and is working on the other one.

Help.

Plop.

That sounds like it could be the beginning of a ā€˜specialistā€™ porno movie Clarkey.

:lol: Clarkey will tell us afterwards he didnā€™t know what your man went when he offered to clean his pipes.

I am fucking seething here. I had just started a poo (1 cubicle 3 urinals) when I heard the bathroom door open. Normal protocol for EVERYONE in the office is if you need a poo and it is occupied you leave and come back later. If you need a piss then work away and the pooer knows to hold off on the farting and grunting until he hears the pisser leaving. Well I held off on giving it the fully welly after hearing the door open. 2, then 3, then 4, then 5 minutes passed and it became obvious that this person was not leaving. I had no choice but to wipe, fix myself up and exit the cubicle as I refuse to break from protocol. There is the new IT consultant stood there smiling inanely and chirping ā€œHi Horseboxā€ as he walks past me into the cubicle.

Is this normal behaviour for these fucking weirdos?

[quote=ā€œHorsebox, post: 753121, member: 1537ā€]I am fucking seething here. I had just started a poo (1 cubicle 3 urinals) when I heard the bathroom door open. Normal protocol for EVERYONE in the office is if you need a poo and it is occupied you leave and come back later. If you need a piss then work away and the pooer knows to hold off on the farting and grunting until he hears the pisser leaving. Well I held off on giving it the fully welly after hearing the door open. 2, then 3, then 4, then 5 minutes passed and it became obvious that this person was not leaving. I had no choice but to wipe, fix myself up and exit the cubicle as I refuse to break from protocol. There is the new IT consultant stood there smiling inanely and chirping ā€œHi Horseboxā€ as he walks past me into the cubicle.

Is this normal behaviour for these fucking weirdos?[/quote]

IT people are generally freaks and have poor social skills.
Except for me. Thatā€™s why I thrive in this industry. I have a superb mix of knowledge, personality and cop on. Iā€™m the acceptable face of IT.

[quote=ā€œHorsebox, post: 753121, member: 1537ā€]I am fucking seething here. I had just started a poo (1 cubicle 3 urinals) when I heard the bathroom door open. Normal protocol for EVERYONE in the office is if you need a poo and it is occupied you leave and come back later. If you need a piss then work away and the pooer knows to hold off on the farting and grunting until he hears the pisser leaving. Well I held off on giving it the fully welly after hearing the door open. 2, then 3, then 4, then 5 minutes passed and it became obvious that this person was not leaving. I had no choice but to wipe, fix myself up and exit the cubicle as I refuse to break from protocol. There is the new IT consultant stood there smiling inanely and chirping ā€œHi Horseboxā€ as he walks past me into the cubicle.

Is this normal behaviour for these fucking weirdos?[/quote]
The dirty animal walked straight in after you? :eek:

Have ye no heating in the office or something that the cunt needed a hot seat so bad?

[quote=ā€œThe Runt, post: 753122, member: 181ā€]IT people are generally freaks and have poor social skills.
Except for me. Thatā€™s why I thrive in this industry. I have a superb mix of knowledge, personality and cop on. Iā€™m the acceptable face of IT.[/quote]

+1 Runt.

I can identify with these traits your have outlined above. They are few and far between in ITā€¦

Fcuk protocol Horsebox. If you need to shitā€¦ then shitā€¦ Liquid, Gaseous, Solid or otherwise.

[quote=ā€œKinvaraā€™s Passion, post: 753130, member: 686ā€]+1 Runt.

I can identify with these traits your have outlined above. They are few and far between in ITā€¦

Fcuk protocol Horsebox. If you need to shitā€¦ then shitā€¦ Liquid, Gaseous, Solid or otherwise.[/quote]

Exactly, When your man heard no plops or splutter he is after going away thinking ā€œwhat the fuck was that lad doing in the cubicle for the last 5 minutes?ā€

The fucking weirdo who stood outside a cubicle for 5 minutes and then went straight in after me? I donā€™t really care what he thinks to be honest mate. Protocol is protocol-we are all agreed that if we are going for a piss we donā€™t want to have to listen to someone farting and shitting-this is the workplace, not the Sin Bin.

[quote=ā€œcarryharry, post: 753125, member: 1517ā€]The dirty animal walked straight in after you? :eek:

Have ye no heating in the office or something that the cunt needed a hot seat so bad?[/quote]
An animal is right-my giddyness completely ruined by the cunt.

I work in a small office with one jacks. There is always the risk of noises being heard in the main office area so recent protocol seems to be to turn on the kettle when youā€™re heading in and the noise from it heating up is enough to distract from any grunts, splashes or spluttery explosions.

trying a little too hard here pal.

Mate your obsession with the SinBin is going a little too far at this stage.

This is not weddingsonline.ie mateā€¦ People shit around here no poos.

:rolleyes:

Do I go on about the SinBin? Hadnā€™t realised I do.