Lubing them up and riding them isnt help to most people, mate
Tommy Tiernan talking about his mate in school telling a pile of them about sex for the first time behind the bike shed.
First - your mickey goes hard.
My mickey is hard already!!!
Father Murphy - youâre not supposed to be here!!
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Thick as shit or old fashioned your smallie has to come first for all end of
Girls are mental as teenagers but tend to mature a lot better than boys. My two (now 22 and 20) were polar opposites. The elder took after her mother and was very organised, focused and driven, but a worrier as a result. She also shares her terrible driving habits with her female parent.
Her sister was as laid back as could be, with the result that she could wind up the older one with no effort at all. The cuter of the two, I always felt.
Theyâre brilliant now as young adults. Incredibly loyal & caring, albeit part of an unholy triumvirate with their mother, sent by a higher power to try me.
Iâve a teenage son (nearly 15), a long streak who will be looking down on me shortly. At least he hurls.
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I was on the train home last night from work and two young teenagers were also travelling - I would say around 13 or 14 in age.
They were off to some sort of do. And you guessed it - they were wearing next to nothing. Everything on show. Like a six year old at a travellerâs christening.
My missus was tut tutting at them but I adopted a more acceptance tone whereby that age, for whatever reason, seems to dress like that for social occasions with their peers. It looks completely wrong but in six years time they will have grown out of it. The trick is getting them through the next six years - one of them had a naggin of vodka in the pocket of her jacket which can only lead to trouble.
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My two have come up with a new nickname for me. Theyve decided from now on I should be known as âchopped liverâ
The youngest thought this was hilarious.
Cheeky mare. Another zero gone off the inheritance
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Christ, but thatâs a bit graphic
Harmless aul fun flatty. I was always a big fan of black humour to get lads through dark times
I had a lovely bit of lambâs liver in the fridge but that has put me off 
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Get yourself a nice bottle to wash it down. Put you back in the mood
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Great actor
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It passes,my eldest grandaughter a few years back on holidays here was going out 16 ish,I said to her ma ,âFFS girl youâre not letting her out like thatâ?
Quick response to me,'Dad you said the same to me 20 years ago"
I quickly shut up and relaised I was turning into my old man
3rd day in a row without a row of some sort. I just hope theres nothing simmering underneath.
Well it was nice when it lasted
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Our one bored senseless got her to clean crates out the back today that the removal crowd dropped in.
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We just had a major fucking tremor due to someone robbing somebody elses hair dye.
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Had it boy, girls are bitches, boys lambs
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In fairness we got almost 5 days without a rift. That must be some sort of a record in this house
Not bad , only me and the smallie here think I
need fucking Poirot,
My drawers and socks keep disappearing, he does the old shaggy one" wasnât me"
I tell him itâs Miriamâ next door so and sheâs a fetish for my jocks n socks
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