Is there another country at all where there’s a “going rate”?
3 Likes
That’s weddings for you mate. Absolute fuckers on the wallet.
I’d say 250 in total for the family would be fair enough.
2 Likes
That’s the venal Oirish for you. Tis a wonder you’re lowering yourself moving back
It’s a genuine question. It seems fairly transactional to me, on what should be an emotional and celebratory occasion.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if you invite guests to your wedding, what should be the most special and precious occasion of your life, you should host them appropriately with food and drink, and expect nothing in return bar their time and trouble for attending.
Why you’d post something so nasty about that, I’m not sure.
3 Likes
People, Irish people, have an inherent desire to be liked and not to shame their people. They also wish to celebrate and enjoy the persons big day (maybe not so much on TFK, there’s a few fierce odd fuckers here who seem to despise the beauty that is a wedding). I’m sure they simply are happy to give something to this joyous occasion and that’s ok too, it’s a grand tradition. Some will expect others may not. Each to their own.
I went as a mid to late teenager to many a family wedding and had some of the best Craic sneaking pints with my uncles now since gone and listening to the yarns they were spinning.
Great great memories.
5 Likes
I dunno old chum but this wedding is very much on in Ireland so remain on point please and thank you- what dough am I dropping?
I do prefer our approach of throwing money down compared to the gift registry bullshit of other places tho
@glenshane I eagerly await your thoughts on this. You’ve been very very very special with numerous precious days!
I know at my wedding some people didn’t give presents or some gave very small presents.
This ranged from close neighbours with feck all money who helped us out so much down the years for nothing - frankly them actually giving me a present would be a insult.
Then you have the distant relations, only there because your folks insisted on it. They can go and fuck off.
Because they only gave a small or no present?! Jaysus, that’s cold if what you meant. They likely didn’t want to go but trudged on to do the right thing
We all have them, its just the way. There’s no harm plamásing your folks for an easy life too. What harm.
1 Like
It’s a riff on a familiar theme for you.
Wish them well and good luck, and gift what you can, or don’t go. Very simple.
It’s an absolute tiny minority of people that make a scene over cards or gifts.
Or they are tight fuckers who don’t have enough respect for you to give a proper gift.
getting an invitation is like getting a summons. by the time you’ve transport, accommodation, suits and the woman’s rituals paid for you’re looking at up over a K before you ever put your hand in the pocket for a drink. Time off work is another thing as people are now getting married of a Friday and usually having a second day. I’d echo @Raylan above there. If you are struggling to gift or can’t justify don’t go. If you feel lousy about throwing a couple hundred at a couple then you are likely just invited to make up numbers. If you cared about the couple you wouldn’t blink twice
5 Likes
Lads thinking wedding days are some sort of glorious epiphany of a trinity of the religious, the spiritual and the romantic …it’s very old hat if you ask me.
The institution of marriage has it’s roots in tribalism, family allegiances and chattelship. In more recent times it provided a necessary refuge and protection for women and children. Nowadays it’s a colossal farcical vanity project underpinned by cliched hollywood inspired romantic sillinesses.
It’s some load of balls.
(Have you picked your chair dressings yet? A trailing satin bow is so 2022 etc)
1 Like
A sculpture in always appreciated
3 Likes
I forego these now as the hangovers just aren’t worth it and taking 4 days to recover fully afterwards.
Re gifts; a few people at the time of mine didn’t give a present; listen some people might be struggling financially but don’t want to let you down by not showing up. You never know what people are going through. I wouldn’t get unduly put out over it. It’s only money and it comes and goes and more often than not is wasted
6 Likes
I don’t think you need to include teens in your calculations. Inviting u18s is up to the bride and groom. If they are inviting them they shouldn’t be expecting a present on behalf of them.
3 Likes
I’d say there’s always a few cards that get misplaced by a dozy groomsman. You’ll have folk inadvertently thinking they’ve been snubbed & raging about it & oblivious guests on the other side wondering why the married couple have been a bit off with them since the wedding.
That said, if I ever get married for tax & financial planning reasons I’d expect anyone with over 1,000 posts to contribute financially. Maybe an amount that corresponds with their number of posts on TFK.
2 Likes
There’s been/will be 7 weddings on in our area this year up to Dec. Just got the 6th invite of the 7 this week. So far I have stuck to my resolution recorded earlier on here of not attending any of them. We have sent/will send a card and a monetary gift to the loving couples and wish them well. Lovely families but none of them were at any of our family weddings. It’s a fucking scam. I’ve saved thousands €€€€. Got one cold shoulder from a groom in question but fuck him. His gift didn’t grow on the ash tree outside.
3 Likes
I started setting money aside for the youngsters college fund when you announced them.
Not sure I relayed the story here, but I never got anything from one of my uncles when I married my imaginary wife. It wasn’t that I had a spreasheet or anything, but I noted it as I’d have been close to him and it surprised me somewhat. But whatever, I figured there was a good reason, he wasn’t too flush with cash anyway, and left it off. A few years later my mother called me to tell me while searching for a bag for a wedding she was going to, she pulled down the one she had from my wedding day, and in it was a card from her brother with a cheque in it. Needless to say the cheque was dead. We had a good chuckle about it. I mentioned it to him a year or two before he passed on and he said he noticed it hadn’t been cashed but never thought to (or was happy not to) mention it. We left it off as a good story. A decent man sadly missed.
9 Likes