The cookies part is pretty much the only unexplained part. If an Irish murderer did that, it would shake things up. Wife-killers take note, you have to have a bit of charm about you.
Some serious contenders for post of the year tonight
Walrus plays the saxophone
Previous PreviousNext Next View GalleryPublished Date: 05 December 2008
A walrus has become a star attraction with visitors at a zoo in Turkey by learning to play the saxophone.
Under the direction of her trainer, Sara the Walrus grips the brass instrument between her flippers and blasts out a note.
Russian trainer Sergiy has also taught her to strike a nonchalant pose, leaning on a worktop with one flipper under her chin and looking bored.
Saraâs skills at mimicking humans extend to dressing up as a railway platform conductor and blowing a whistle. Sara is delighting onlookers with her routines at Istanbul Dolphinarium in Istanbul, which opened its doors this week.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7820885.stm
Zimbabwe troops âeat elephantsâ
Zimbabwe has more elephants than its parks can hold
Zimbabwean soldiers are being given elephant meat for their rations, a wildlife campaigner has told the BBC.
Jonny Rodrigues from the Zimbabwe Conservation Task Force said that several soldiers had complained to him that was the only meat they were given.
Zimbabwe is believed to have some 100,000 elephants - more than its parks can sustainably hold and its economy is in freefall.
The defence ministry has not yet commented on the reports.
Mr Rodrigues said that the use of elephant meat began last June but has recently increased.
It is cheaper and easier to use elephant meat
Jonny Rodrigues
The ZimOnline website quoted an unnamed senior army officer in Harare as saying: âSoldiers started eating elephant meat last week.â
The officer said the meat was a welcome relief, with the website saying soldiers had previously only been given sadza (maize-meal porridge) to eat.
Mr Rodrigues said that army contracts to supply beef to feed soldiers had been cancelled.
âIt is cheaper and easier to use elephant meat,â he said.
Zimbabweâs national parks have the capacity for 45,000 elephants and the population is culled to contain numbers.
The economy is collapsing and soldiers have recently gone on the rampage in the capital, Harare, after being unable to withdraw their salaries in cash from banks.
The pay of many civil servants is barely enough to pay for their transport to and from work, so most people survive by trading on the black market or on the money sent by relatives abroad.
The army plays a key role in keeping President Robert Mugabe in power.
It was accused of leading a campaign of violence against the opposition during last yearâs election run-off but this was denied by defence officials.
Does it taste good though?
Maybe in China they can start eating each otherâŚ
Boy, six, drives family car to school after missing bus⌠and then continues journey on foot after crashing
A six-year-old boy who missed his bus tried to drive himself to school in the family car.
The child, who has not been identified, took the keys to the 2005 Ford Taurus while his mother was sleeping and drove six miles across the American state of Virginia.
He ran off the road several times before coming to a halt after hitting an embankment and telegraph pole about a mile-and-a-half from his destination.
Rappahannock Hospital,
Rappahannock Hospital, Virginia: The boy was treated by doctors after crashing his car on the way to school but later released
Astonishingly, he then tried to continue his journey on foot before being stopped by police.
The boy suffered minor injuries, despite not wearing a seat belt, and was eventually taken to school by officers after being checked out at a hospital.
The incident happened at around 7.40am on Monday on Route 360, about 60 miles east of Richmond.
âHe was very intent on getting to school,â said Sheriff Chuck Wilkins.
âWhen he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE.â
His parents, Jacqulyn Deana Waltman, 26, and David Eugene Dodson, 40, are each charged with child endangerment, Wilkins said.
The boy and his brother, four, were placed in protective custody.
this scummer in Clondalkin outran a chopper and 40/50, yes forty to fifty squad cars for 40 minutes last night.
Teen held in connection with car chase remanded on conditional bail
A teenage boy arrested in relation to a dangerous 40-minute car chase in west Dublin in the early hours of this morning, which involved up to 50 patrol cars and the Garda helicopter, has been remanded on conditional bail.
The 16-year-old boy was charged at the Childrens Court with the theft of the car in the Clondalkin area this morning.
Garda John Walsh, of Blanchardstown station told Judge Ann Ryan that the teenager made no reply to the charge after he was arrested.
He went on to tell the judge that the traffic pursuit lasted 40 minutes he was the sole occupant of the car.
During the drive there were numerous counts of dangerous driving and three traffic accidents. The Garda helicopter and 40 to 50 patrol cars had been involved in the chase, the court heard.
The boys mother told Judge Ryan: I saw the chase last night and my nerves were gone. I got a feeling it was him.
Her son, she said, had received a telephone call at about 2am from a so-called friend, obviously they are after running and leaving him, he should have known better though.
Garda Walsh also notified the court that a bench warrant was also executed against the boy over his failure to attend a case for a motor theft offence, last month.
However, he accepted that the boys mother, who was in court, had been making efforts to have the bench warrant dealt with prior to his arrest.
Judge Ryan said it was obvious that the boys mother was very concerned and was taking matters very seriously. I cannot say the same for her son given the allegations before the court of what happened, the sole occupant of the car, a 40-minute chase involving the Garda helicopter.
She agreed to grant bail subject to strict conditions. The teenager, who was granted legal aid, was ordered to obey a 9pm to 7am curfew at his home and to sign on daily at Ronanstown Garda station.
She stressed that the teenager would be remanded in custody if he breached the terms of his bail, adding It is entirely in your own hands what happens to you.
She noted that the Garda was seeking a lengthy remand given the number of Garda units involved in the incident and adjourned the case until April for directions from the DPP to be obtained.
What the fuck was he drivingâŚTwas hardly a shitty Ford Focus
Good advertisement for weetabix.
A helicopter has rescued a lone Adelaide hiker who survived nine days in a hut in rugged New Zealand bush country on just muesli bars and Weetbix.
A search and rescue crew picked up the woman who began a solo hike near the South Island town of Wanaka last week but soon realised she was not sufficiently well equipped or fit enough for the trek.
She made it to a hut on the trail - known as the Shania Twain track as it crosses land owned by the Canadian singer and has been largely funded by her.
But the Adelaide womanâs rescuers say she was âtoo exhausted and too terrifiedâ to attempt the walk back alone.
âThis is a young woman (who) had never been tramping before and ended up spending nine days stuck in a hut on the track existing on Weetbix and muesli bars because she neither had the skills nor the level of fitness to get out,â said Phillip Melchior, chairman of New Zealandâs national search and rescue organisation LandSAR.
âItâs an example of someone being woefully ill-prepared for what theyâre about to do.â
The unnamed woman, believed to be in her 20s, had been backpacking around New Zealand for about six months when she decided to head south to hike.
The path she chose, officially called the Motatapu Track, was relatively difficult and rarely used.
Mr Melchior said after a more than a weekâs stay a fellow hiker offered to accompany her out of the bush.
âBut by this stage she wasnât capable so he raised the alarm and we picked her up in the helicopter this morning,â he said.
Mr Melchior said it was vital locals or tourists planning to hike thoroughly research the difficulty levels of the tracks, take appropriate equipment and clothing and preferably walk with at least two others
[quote=âGmanâ]Good advertisement for weetabix.
A helicopter has rescued a lone Adelaide hiker who survived nine days in a hut in rugged New Zealand bush country on just muesli bars and Weetbix.
A search and rescue crew picked up the woman who began a solo hike near the South Island town of Wanaka last week but soon realised she was not sufficiently well equipped or fit enough for the trek.
She made it to a hut on the trail - known as the Shania Twain track as it crosses land owned by the Canadian singer and has been largely funded by her.
But the Adelaide womanâs rescuers say she was âtoo exhausted and too terrifiedâ to attempt the walk back alone.
âThis is a young woman (who) had never been tramping before and ended up spending nine days stuck in a hut on the track existing on Weetbix and muesli bars because she neither had the skills nor the level of fitness to get out,â said Phillip Melchior, chairman of New Zealandâs national search and rescue organisation LandSAR.
âItâs an example of someone being woefully ill-prepared for what theyâre about to do.â
The unnamed woman, believed to be in her 20s, had been backpacking around New Zealand for about six months when she decided to head south to hike.
The path she chose, officially called the Motatapu Track, was relatively difficult and rarely used.
Mr Melchior said after a more than a weekâs stay a fellow hiker offered to accompany her out of the bush.
âBut by this stage she wasnât capable so he raised the alarm and we picked her up in the helicopter this morning,â he said.
Mr Melchior said it was vital locals or tourists planning to hike thoroughly research the difficulty levels of the tracks, take appropriate equipment and clothing and preferably walk with at least two others[/quote]
Now sheâs one dopey cunt.
[quote=âHBV*â]this scummer in Clondalkin outran a chopper and 40/50, yes forty to fifty squad cars for 40 minutes last night.
[/quote]
Sure most of the coppers probably didnât even know what/who they were chasing as all they could see in front was a shit load of other squad cars.
Like the chase in the Blues Brothers 
Staff at a state-of-the-art hospital have called in a chaplain after being spooked by a âghostâ - but have denied there are any plans to carry out an exorcism.
A chaplain will visit Derby hospital next week
Workers at Derbyâs new Royal Hospital have reported seeing a black-clad figure in a cloak stalking wards and corridors.
The 334m hospital is built on the site of the old Derby City Hospital - the same site where a Roman road used to run.
A hospital spokesman has confirmed to Sky News that a number of hospital workers had been âspookedâ by a sighting.
And she said a chaplain would be meeting staff next week to help allay their concerns.
Word of a planned exorcism spread after an email to staff was leaked to the media.
Senior manager Debbie Butler wrote: "Iâm not sure how many of you are aware that some members of staff have reported seeing a ghost.
"Iâm taking it seriously as the last thing I want is staff feeling uneasy at work.
âIâve spoken to the Trustâs chaplain and she is going to arrange for someone from the cathedral to exorcise the department.â
But a hospital spokesman said: "There is absolutely no truth in what has been reported in the media today that an exorcism has been arranged.
"We will be talking to staff in the department to listen to their concerns.
âWe respect our staff and always listen to their views to help put minds at ease.â
Experts said the surgical spirit could be the ghost of a Roman soldier killed on the spot where the hospital was first built in the 1920s.
Developers apparently ignored local protests about the construction and covered over part of a Roman route
A businessman who lost his mobile phone on a beach was amazed when it turned up - in the belly of a giant cod.
Andrew Cheatle thought it had been swept out to sea after it slipped from his pocket.
But a week later his girlfriendâs mobile rang and it was fisherman Glen Kerley saying heâd found the phone in a 25lb fish, reports The Sun.
Andrew got the handset back, dried it out - and amazingly it still works.
Andrew, 45, said: âI was messing about with my dog and my phone must have fallen out and been swept out in the swell. I kept calling it but I gave up hope after a couple of days.â
He was shopping for a new phone with girlfriend Rita Smith, 33, when her mobile went off.
She told him: âYour old mobile number is calling my phone.â
Andrew continued: "She said some guy was going on about my phone and a cod so she handed it over to me and he told me where he had found it.
âI thought he was winding me up but he assured me he had caught a cod that morning and was gutting it for his fish stall and that my Nokia was inside it - a bit worse for wear.â
Glen, of Worthing, West Sussex, said: "Cod are greedy fish - theyâll eat anything. They have big heads and big mouths.
"Iâve found plastic cups, stones, teaspoons, batteries and Iâve also heard of someone finding false teeth in one.
âIt was a bit smelly but I was glad to return it.â
âI was messing about with my dogâ
Beast!
Three years for man who decapitated birds
27/03/2009 - 14:33:24
A young Skerries alcoholic who broke into an aviary and killed 12 âunusual and exotic display birdsâ by pulling their heads off has been given a three-year sentence by Judge Patricia Ryan at Dublin Circuit Criminal Court.
Glen Conroy (aged 21) had drunk 12 cans of beer and a litre of vodka when he and an accomplice broke into Newbridge House in Donabate, which contains an aviary for exotic and rare birds.
Conroy, of Mourne View, also âkept sketchâ for an accomplice while he burgled a 92-year-old mans home.
Conroy was on bail at the time of the second burglary for robbing a 52-year-old Swords mother and was jailed for three years for that crime last year. This new sentence is consecutive to that term and will begin in May 2009.
Detective Garda Aidan McGuire said mutilated and killed 12 âinvaluable and irreplaceableâ birds worth 2,670 and several of them cannot be replaced because it is forbidden to import them due to the bird flu epidemic in Asia. Four birds also escaped from their enclosures and were not recovered.
Conroy a father-of-one, pleaded guilty to burglary and two counts of criminal damage on April 13, 2006. He also pleaded guilty to another burglary in Skerries and unlawful interference with a car on December 15, 2006.
Judge Ryan had adjourned the case last December to give him âan opportunity to get his act together whether he likes it or not.â She noted today that he had not taken this opportunity to address his addictions.
Judge Ryan said she had to take into account the âviolent way that the birds were treatedâ resulting in their decapitition and the fact that they were irreplaceable.
She imposed concurrent sentences totalling three years which are consecutive to the sentence he is presently serving and she suspended the final year on strict conditions.
Det. Gda McGuire told prosecuting counsel, Mr Paul Carroll BL, that Conroy suffered from ADHD and had a âserious drink problem and propensity for violenceâ.
He had 38 previous convictions including ones for firearms offences, burglary, assault and robbery.
Garda Declan McGarvey told Mr Carroll that Conroy acted as a look out while an accomplice broke into a 92-year-old mans home as he slept and took his car keys. The pair took his car and caused 3,000 damage to it.
Det. Gda McGuire said the night watchman at Newbridge House saw two youths on CCTV as they smashed the fence of the aviary and pull the heads off the birds. He saw that one youth was stripped to the waist and drinking from an bottle. They caused 160 worth of damage to the aviary fence.
Conroy and his accomplice then left the aviary and garda and staff arrived to find the 12 dead birds.
The garda recognised Conroy on the CCTV and he was interviewed about the break-in when arrested on another matter several days later.
He told garda he did it because he was drunk and did not remember killing the birds until told by a friend the next day. He said âhe snapped their necks and gave them a few bootsâ.
Defence counsel, Mr Damien Colgan BL, said his client was abused as a child and had received very little formal education to the extent that he is unable to read a newspaper.
This one is probably a candidate for most pointless news story of the 21st century
Father angry as roadside baby recorded in wrong county
By Gordon Deegan
Friday March 27 2009
The father of a baby girl born on the roadside in west Clare complained yesterday that the HSE has refused to record his new daughter as a Clare baby, and instead has insisted on classifying her as Limerick-born.
Lawrence Gallagher spoke yesterday after it emerged that the HSE does not have any official record of babies born by the roadside in Co Clare en route to the maternity hospital in Limerick.
The failure by the HSE to record roadside births in Clare was yesterday described as ârecklessâ by HSE West Forum member Cllr Brian Meaney (Green).
Cllr Meaney estimated that up to 20 babies could have been born on the Co Clare roadside on the way to the Maternity Hospital in Limerick based on the number of babies born before arrival at University College Hospital, Galway.
The Government withdrew maternity services from Clare in the 1980s and each year a number of births take place on the roadside involving mothers who do not make it in time to Limerick or Galway. Caroline Gallagher gave birth to Molly in the front seat of a car on the Loop Head peninsula on April 7 last. She was the second-known baby born on the roadside in west Clare within an eight-week period. Mr Gallagher said: âMolly was born in Clare and that should be the official record.â
Cllr Meaney claimed that it is a deliberate policy by the HSE not to record the roadside birth figures by mothers en route to Limerick as it would increase the pressure on the executive to restore maternity services at Ennis in Clare.
- Gordon Deegan
We are stealing there babies.
But only give them a better chance in life. Iâve already had this out with Puke on another forum.
[quote=âThe Runtâ]We are stealing there babies.
But only give them a better chance in life. Iâve already had this out with Puke on another forum.[/quote]
Well love where were you born
Your some clown runty!
[quote=âThe Pukeâ]Well love where were you born
Your some clown runty![/quote]
You never know puke, you should always be prepared. A good limerick man like yourself should know that.