I’ve been reading the People’s Republic of Cork forum and they have a thread entitled “What’s Wrong With Dublin?”. The replies to the thread are very far from intelligent to be honest, and don’t represent the majority of Corkonian’s views. The best reply to the thread being; Dublin is a village that thinks it’s a city, Cork is a city that thinks it’s a village, even that as a reply is weaker then hospital tea. It did get me thinking though, just why do Cork and Dublin people seem to hate each other?
Myself, I’ve always loved getting away from Dublin and down to Cork. I always have great banter down there, maybe because I know the subarbs well and the people tend to accept me, even though I’m a Dub. I have however been hearing more and more horror stories of Dubs getting little or no welcome in the “second capital”. Banterous slagging of the two counties turns into full blown arguements out of porportion, unacceptable in my opinion. No two other counties in Ireland seem to have this trouble with each other over superiority and snobbery.
I can see why Corkonians think Dublin is a kip. Cork is a very much closed off city, and your average Corkonian wouldn’t dream of going to Dublin for a city break. Most Corkonains will only venture to Dublin for a GAA game. This isn’t the best of experience for an out of towner. Picture arriving into Heuston and being squashed onto a packed tram. Picture having to pay 0.50 more for a shit pint of guinness in an overcrowded boozer and then having a dope in a shell tracksuit slag your accent when your outside having a fag. Feck even I’d hate Dublin if that’s my first impression of the city.
Maybe the same is true for a Dub going down to Cork for the weekend and that’s the reason why we seem to hate each other. That’s my theory on why Dubs/Corkonians don’t get along. Any of you langers have any thoughts on the subject?
Cork people have a misplaced arrogance that defies logic. They have some sort of retarded view that they’re superior to Dubliners. Cork people dont really bother me in the long run though. I just avoid the county and when I do encounter one of them outside of their backward enclosed minded county I avoid them too.
Cork people are the biggest shower of whingers to ever set foot on this planet. They feel the whole fucking world is against them.
Their inbred sense of superiorty is so misguided that they actually feel hard done by at this stage because nobody else tells them they are superior.
Go past St. Patricks Hill and the only way you could tell the difference between Knocknaheey, Mayfield and any scumbag area in Dublin is through the equally annoying accent. Stand around the fountain on Grand Parade an any weekend and you’ll see the scummers just itching for a fight.
Take the current strike by the senior hurlers & footballers, they can’t accept that they aren’t good enough, they are not better than Kilkenny and Kerry, yet instead of looking inward at their own failings as a squad and team, they blame the County Board (Frank Murphy - Coont). The county board has every right to decide how selectors are picked just as they have the right to pick a manager. They should be told to fuck off as it’s an honour to be picked for your county at any sport and at any level, so if they dont want to play for their county then they should just fuck off to Oz.
That said I loved my time in college there in UCK (previously known as UCC as 13 of the senior football who won the Sigerson, Cork County Championship and Munster Club were from Kerry), i love going on the lash there as its a might compact city for going out in, and have a good few Cork mates. But Cork people as a whole for fucks sake…
Their inbred sense of superiorty is so misguided that they actually feel hard done by at this stage because nobody else tells them they are superior.
I like to read this paragraph as:
They’re inbred and their sense of superiorty is so misguided that they actually feel hard done by at this stage because nobody else tells them they are superior.
“We came over to Ireland and went around different hotels. Dublin, Belfast, Galway and Cork. We worked a lot in Cork. I hated Cork. They’re a different breed. They’re like the rednecks of Ireland. They’re totally not with it when it comes to sex and women. A massive bunch of them would request the strangest of things. One man wanted me to treat him like a little boy. A lot of them were gay but they wouldn’t admit it. They’re quite dirty in Cork.”
Dirty, as in a good way, with dirty sex?
“No.” She grimaces. “They’re not clean, not like city boys. A lot of them reminded me of farmers. They’d ask for the weirdest of things. I had a couple of clients from Cork that wanted to be treated like dogs. They’d sit there and pant at your feet and lick them. They wanted beating up. They’d never have sex, they just wanted you to twat them.”
Did she bring her wooden spoon?
"No. One man wanted me to kick him in his ribs and he’d bring an egg-timer to make sure he got his full half-hour. In Cork, a lot of the men want strap-on dildos up their asses. I see it as not having sex with them so I actually prefer that. It’s actually quite amusing because I’d be looking at the back of their head thinking, ‘You ****ing idiot.’
"I loved Dublin. It was full of loads of different people. I saw a politician in Dublin. He told me, ‘I shouldn’t be here. I’m actually a politician’. When he was in the shower, I looked out the window and there was a car parked outside with a chauffeur. He had a massage and we talked about things in general. I was sat there in my bra and knickers.
I don’t think you’d find many Cork people that would rush to defend our bouncers. Bigger idiots on bigger power trips than anywhere else I’ve encountered. I thought all bouncers were like that until I left Cork.
Agreed, complete cunts, went out in Cork once and never bothered again. Never come across anything like them elsewhere. Are they all the same crowd or what’s the story?
I’m not really the inquisitive type so I never really bothered to find out if they all came from the same company. I was happy just to call them cunts while I drank my remaining Dutch Gold back in the house having been refused entry to one of the many clubs in Cork that insisted on playing nothing but hip-hop music all the time… I miss college.
Yes, essence of metal I used to call it. 6 for €7 was phenomenal value back when I had no money though. Consumed while playing a leisurely game of Tiger Woods golf on the PlayStation, followed by a naggon of JD with a bit of Coke. Then on to yet another random encounter with a bouncer. If all else failed, you could generally get into the Bróg unless you were completely hammered though.
Galahad from Lidl was another step into the world of aluminium poisoning. Bavaria despite being the same price as Dutch and the like was actually a reasonable drink. They all were more or less the same after 3 or 4 cans.
