Occasionally scout through the spam as some non spam stuff seems to slip in there and came across this one…
“Your wife deserves an erect penis” from someone called Misty Spence.
Hard to argue with really.
I see some great ones in the SPAM Filter at work.
“Fill her in every hole” was one which made me laugh yesterday.
A couple of the ones that I’ve gotten recently
Stuffing her with more inches
Become big love boss
Get better in making it with her
Time to get it bigger
“From your friend”
Immediately got suspicious…
Seems to be a very DIY theme to this mornings batch of SPAM:
“Your drawbolt will go deeper in”
“Make your hammering fantastic”
“Get pure drilling pleasure”
“Energy to tear her ham wallet”
“clarkeycat pulls the stomach out of himself, click here”
Give yourself the weekend you deserve.
and
Bumper specials
(the latter might be a username yet:D)
Thankfully my current email account has escaped the spammers thus far, but have and old o2 address in which I have 1400 unread emails with the majority of them going something like this:
The bigger the tool in your pants is, the bigger man you feel.
No luck with pretty women? Enlarging your stick is your way out.
Every extra inch gives her extra chance for reaching final destination.
If watering your instrument doesn’t help it grow, we know what helps.
Uplift your darling night event.
With a bigger tool you can break not only hearts but also splits.
Enlarging your male tool means winning a battle.
Your instrument is so little she barely finds it in bed?
With every extra inch you climb one more stair on the ladder of masculinity.
Women don’t like it tender they need a major member.
and so forth…
Also, someone called Myra Kennedy says I have been ‘Nominated for a Ph.d’. Someone called Mazurowski Marlon says my ‘Office is on quarantine’. And on a positive note Jayson Feliciano just wanted to let me know that it ‘Look like you just have received a big inheritance.’ Cheers Jayo.
Best one I’ve seen was - ‘We offer the best alarm-clocks for your small buddy down there’ - pretty creative in fairness.
“Suiciders online” - apparently sent by “me”. Don’t remember that but I must have had a pretty rough hangover.
“If you had a goldfish, you would ask for a bigger instrument”
“Tired of girls searching for your little friend in bed notbeing able to find it?”
“Your virile energy will come back to you like a boomerang” Strewth.
“Simple and helpful steps to attract lovely girls” - from some guy called Stephen Nolan
Vonda Werner asks “Do you want to feel like a fish in the river at diplomatic meetings?”
Nah love I’ll just bring my big triangle of Ferrero Rocher to my next diplomatic meeting at the ambassador’s residence and everything will be fine.
I can’t figure out this one
Stable angina symptoms left in past with ?Perfect day?.
Got this one-
Want to make sexy with a fitness instructor with a smoking body and is big into “her own time”, and believes relationships survive on balance and each person having their own time-Call now.
[quote=“Pikeman”]Got this one-
Want to make sexy with a fitness instructor with a smoking body and is big into “her own time”, and believes relationships survive on balance and each person having their own time-Call now.[/QUOTE]
Ah, here. 
[quote=“Pikeman”]Got this one-
Want to make sexy with a fitness instructor with a smoking body and is big into “her own time”, and believes relationships survive on balance and each person having their own time-Call now.[/QUOTE]
Someone should tell Kev that just because she wears a tracksuit and has her hair in a ponytail that she is not necessarily a fitness instructor.
She just wears those casual clothes when she’s dropping her kids down to school in the morning.
he pm’ed me this picture of her,
she is a keeper in fairness
Is that Shan in the buggy, second from the left
God bless the US Army-
Attention.
Business Proposal,Please contact me on my private email { sgtjames0101@hotmail.com }
My name is Sergeant James Regan I am an American soldier with Swiss background,serving in the military with the army’s 3rd infantry division based in Iraq/Baghdad. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of($ 25 Million U.S. Dollars ) Twenty Five Million United State Dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money, and there are no danger involved. Source Of Money:
Some money in various currencies was discovered in barrels at a farmhouse near one of Saddam’s old palaces in Ticket-Iraq during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt Kenneth buff and I that some part of this money be shared among both of us before informing anybody about it since both of us saw the money first. No Compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in this hell hole. Of which my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money, and there are no danger involved. kindly indicate your interest in assisting me as well as Providing the following information to facilitate the smooth conclusion of the consignment fund delivery to your door step.
- Your Full Name:
- Your Address:
- Your Age And Occupation:
- Your Mobile Telephone Number:
- Your Direct Email Address:
- Your Fax Number:
- The Name of the Closest Airport to your City of Residence:
- Your country and your present location:
One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this misinformation to facilitate the smooth conclusion of the consignment fund delivery to your door step. One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please and please destroy this message as any leakage of this information will be too bad for us soldier? here in Iraq. I do not know how long we will remain here, and I have been shot, wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately, please contact me as soon as possible my only way of communication email. I Also want you to tell me how much you will take from this money for the assistance you will give to me. I wait for your reply via my private email address as soon as possible { sgtjames0101@hotmail.com }regarding to my email if you are interested in this transaction please kindly reply to me as soon as you get this mail,and if you are not position to help me kindly delete this email from your email box for security reasons thanks for your time and have a nice day.
God Bless You As You Help Out In This Transaction.
Sergeant James Regan.
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