Advice Needed

[quote=“tipptops*”]Oh Ye of little faith.

Right lads,

I’v gotten Berna’s number there and I spent an hour last night trying to put together a text to send to her and I found it impossible. I couldn’t settle on anything to say.

Should I just text away anonymously and see will she reply or should I say straight out its me?

What can you say in a text to a woman anyway? I would be new to this texting lark but due to geographical considerations it is my only avenue.

Any and all help appreciated.[/quote]

texting just like in the Barry’s Tay ad

Glad to be of help Tip

this should go down as one of TFK’s finer moments! no wonder we’re all single! :thumbsup:

Text he and tell her is was great seeing her again after so long, and that maybe you’ll bump into her soon. But not anonymously, you’ll have to say who it is

A bit of sense.:rolleyes:

And call her by a different name, they love that shit.

25 ways to impress women

  1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better” this will
    keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

  2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or
    if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries.
    This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

  3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are
    like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

  4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is
    say “you better be” , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
    show her you care.

  5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every
    girl needs some improvement.

  6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is
    for pussy’s and Asian ladies.

  7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she
    is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fuck you and grab the other girls
    arse. Girls love competition.

  8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks
    it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
    When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re
    really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper
    very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

  9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special
    nicknames.

  10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

  11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket…
    then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop btching about the cold right now you’re going to be btching about a
    black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

  12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the
    bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
    party’s dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the
    party.

  13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick
    the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn’t girls?

  14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10
    minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and
    you can use your arms for more important things. Like soccer

  15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

  16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her
    self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down
    desires to be.

  17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following: shoes,
    earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair.
    This way she’ll go crazy.

  18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and
    say “No she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that
    speaks for her.

  19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a
    spontaneous guy.

  20. Give her one of your t-shirts… and make sure it has your smell on
    it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I’m talking
    about.

  21. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
    This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

  22. Remember her birthday but don’t get her something. Teach her material
    objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she
    keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever
    get.

  23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just
    whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she’s
    coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present
    visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that
    much but I think it’s funny.

  24. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise
    her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make
    sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Now don’t call.
    That’s also quite funny.

Tell her you are the INTERNET legend Cian Foley and she can’t but fail to be impressed.

As for techniques…this is definitely the way to go.
[media=youtube]SQo6GRGOzfk&feature=related

I’ve just closed another girl (not the friend one) at the weekend… and I feel completely empty.

So Another girl got the privilege to feel my cock inside her, I didn’t feel any emotion whatsoever. Riding her was fun because I enjoy people. Banging her felt physically good, but emotionally ? well it was a non runner.

Therefore tapping random girls is a waste of resources and time and serves no purpose.

My next goal is to get a girlfriend that is attractive, has specific traits I’m looking for, and will help me form a relationship that will add to both of our life’s experience.

I’ve reached an internal calmness. Yeah a bit Zen’ish, I know. This is the way forward however and what more can I say only I wish internal peacefulness to everyone.

I’m confused and can’t be arsed reading back. Is Berna the friend you want to be lovers with? How did you not have her number?

Ya thats right Clarkey…she was away for 10 months in Oz and got a new number when she came back.

[quote=“tipptops*”]I’ve just closed another girl (not the friend one) at the weekend… and I feel completely empty.

So Another girl got the privilege to feel my cock inside her, I didn’t feel any emotion whatsoever. Riding her was fun because I enjoy people. Banging her felt physically good, but emotionally ? well it was a non runner.

Therefore tapping random girls is a waste of resources and time and serves no purpose.

My next goal is to get a girlfriend that is attractive, has specific traits I’m looking for, and will help me form a relationship that will add to both of our life’s experience.

I’ve reached an internal calmness. Yeah a bit Zen’ish, I know. This is the way forward however and what more can I say only I wish internal peacefulness to everyone.[/quote]

I’m stuck for words.

It’s not rocket science lads …

Tipptops has had a moment of clarity. I think we should all back away for a few minutes while this epiphany is taking place.

it’s almost Joycean in structure and language.

surely this man can’t fail now.

This could go either way at this stage. If Tipptops was 16 and the wind changed at this moment, he’d suddenly be turned gay. We must proceed very delicately here gentlemen.

Hopefully, she was successful in Australia and made lots of money. It would be galling for you if she was a pauper. Awfully galling.

If she worked in Sydney as an accountant she should be loaded.

Why is she back then? Perhaps she is missing something in her life? Or someone? :thumbsup:

[quote=“tipptops*”]You are friends with a lady.

You have been friends with said lady for a decent amount of time.

You would possibly like to be more than friends with this lady at this present time.

How does one go about removing ones self from the “friends” group and move into the “more than friends group”?

Serious contributions only please.[/quote]

Stop smoking the shit & get off the internet. I hear the 2nds are looking for a target man.

[quote=“tipptops*”]I’ve just closed another girl (not the friend one) at the weekend… and I feel completely empty.

So Another girl got the privilege to feel my cock inside her, I didn’t feel any emotion whatsoever. Riding her was fun because I enjoy people. Banging her felt physically good, but emotionally ? well it was a non runner.

Therefore tapping random girls is a waste of resources and time and serves no purpose.

My next goal is to get a girlfriend that is attractive, has specific traits I’m looking for, and will help me form a relationship that will add to both of our life’s experience.

I’ve reached an internal calmness. Yeah a bit Zen’ish, I know. This is the way forward however and what more can I say only I wish internal peacefulness to everyone.[/quote]

sounds like you’re on heavy antibiotics there Tip

Lads,

Whats the craic with married women? Has anyone ever had a fling with one? Would Ye?