I was in a meeting the other week and before the meeting started the host says “That he has a heart stop at 3pm and needs to end the meeting then”.
I was like what the fuck is a “heart stop”, I thought he had heart problems or something and needed to be out the door at 3 or his heart would stop but it turns out your man just had a conference call at 3 and couldn’t miss it. I should point out that this guy was from the good old USA where they love office jargon crap.
I think the idea is that you bring your lunch in and eat it whilst talking shop.
Fuck that, I’ll eat my lunch in my own comfort, enjoying every mouthful of the left over pork from the weekend barbeque all whilst browsing TFK.
We get a lot of “low hanging fruit” and “helicopter views” here, but other than that it’s reasonably jargon free. Are all ye lads working in multinationals? Is it from the States this stuff comes or what?
[quote=“tazdedub, post: 771622, member: 312”]I was in a meeting the other week and before the meeting started the host says “That he has a heart stop at 3pm and needs to end the meeting then”.
I was like what the fuck is a “heart stop”, I thought he had heart problems or something and needed to be out the door at 3 or his heart would stop but it turns out your man just had a conference call at 3 and couldn’t miss it. I should point out that this guy was from the good old USA where they love office jargon crap.[/quote]
Should that not be a “hard stop”?
Should it not be that he has a conference call at 3 pm so he will have to end the meeting then?
Nope he said heart stop. 
I admit it’s a lot of extra work for us but it’s hardly a show stopper.
Stick to the knitting.
As in they survived the recession because they stuck to the knitting. Needs to be said in a Cork accent to get the full horror of it.
“That is in your wheel house.”
Next time you are in a meeting make up a phrase such as “we’ll have to get the bows and arrows out” or any nonsense phrase and wait until somebody uses it back to you. See how many you can slip in to a meeting.
[quote=“Fagan ODowd, post: 826357, member: 706”]Stick to the knitting.
[/quote]
Quite open to misinterpretation that one, I much prefer the alternatice connotation.
“If you gonna give bananas to a Monkey make sure they are ripe ones”.
(Don’t be giving be giving shit code to testers, wait until its unit tested).
I am not sure how our Indian colleagues interpreted this one but its wide open to what it means.
Add in a “love” or “pet” at the finish for maximum effect.
[quote=“Fagan ODowd, post: 826357, member: 706”]Stick to the knitting.
As in they survived the recession because they stuck to the knitting. Needs to be said in a Cork accent to get the full horror of it.[/quote]
I don’t get it-what does “stuck to the knitting” mean?
Sticking to the simple things/basics
We got a “marching order” at work this week. Can’t remember if we got a “call to action”, earlier this year.
I used the phrase “boots on the ground” during a meeting this week. I was very pleased with myself after using it.
“now its money time guys”, was said by me in a forceful , yet encouraging way to 3 of my subordinates last week as i was coaching them on how to extract and present data that would have a big win for our module
Means stick to the day job I think ie what you know how to do
Another one “square the circle”
I’m on fire at the moment. At a meeting this week I said:
“Look, if someone needs to take him to the woodshed I don’t mind doing it”
i.e. have a word with someone who has been underperforming and tell the to fucking sort their shit.