Annoying Office Jargon - Part III

with at the end

eom

As you climb to the higher echelons of the corporate world its essential that you keep these key phrases in your cache and use them a the odd occasion when the opportunity is presented.

If you don’t use them lads will assume there’s something wrong with you.

Its vital to able to switch it on and off when needed…

For example, Just before lunch I had to give a speak at a meeting and I rolled out a few of these one liners… soon after my phone rang and I excused myself and took the personal call outside the meeting room. It was my tractor mechanic on the line… immediately I had to revert to my default speak and fired a few fucks at him for his recent invoice and poor quality of work.

Then back into the room again and “essentially this” and “essential that” yadda fucking yadda.

[quote=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 899355, member: 686”]Its vital to able to switch it on and off when needed…

For example, Just before lunch I had to give a speak at a meeting and I rolled out a few of these one liners… soon after my phone rang and I excused myself and took the personal call outside the meeting room. It was my tractor mechanic on the line… immediately I had to revert to my default speak and fired a few fucks at him for his recent invoice and poor quality of work.

Then back into the room again and “essentially this” and “essential that” yadda fucking yadda.[/quote]

It really is best practice going forwards

I’ve been employing the word “notwithstanding” quite successfully lately in conversations and emails.

Comes in handy when someone either internally or externally references something you said or did and thinks they’ve caught you out.

But you said…

Notwithstanding that, we now need to…

[quote=“Bandage, post: 899365, member: 9”]I’ve been employing the word “notwithstanding” quite successfully lately in conversations and emails.

Comes in handy when someone either internally or externally references something you said or did and thinks they’ve caught you out.

But you said…

Notwithstanding that, we now need to…[/quote]

do you regularly engage in email war @Bandage?
We should open a thread soon discussing the merits of different communication modes and when they should be used , be it F2F (face to face ) as in talking to the guy, email, IM, telephone call, SMS…

Fuck the crowd mickee. We know better.

Email war

Kind regards become regards and then just your name

[quote=“TheUlteriorMotive, post: 899412, member: 2272”]Email war

Kind regards become regards and then just your name[/quote]

I remain, yours faithfully

Art foley

kind regards

[quote=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 899355, member: 686”]Its vital to able to switch it on and off when needed…

For example, Just before lunch I had to give a speak at a meeting and I rolled out a few of these one liners… soon after my phone rang and I excused myself and took the personal call outside the meeting room. It was my tractor mechanic on the line… immediately I had to revert to my default speak and fired a few fucks at him for his recent invoice and poor quality of work.

Then back into the room again and “essentially this” and “essential that” yadda fucking yadda.[/quote]

Cos you’ve got friends in low places…

[quote=“artfoley, post: 899420, member: 179”]I remain, yours faithfully

Art foley[/quote]

you should use.

I remain, yours faithfully

Arthur J. Foley

  • mickee321

[quote=“TheUlteriorMotive, post: 899412, member: 2272”]Email war

Kind regards become regards and then just your name[/quote]

cunts as well who have these dramatic email signatures with job title, cell, land line (what type of company uses a LL now tho…), email address…
other fuckers as well who put quotes at the end of emails in the signature, shit by Mark Twain and stuff

[quote=“mickee321, post: 899454, member: 367”]cunts as well who have these dramatic email signatures with job title, cell, land line (what type of company uses a LL now tho…), email address…
other fuckers as well who put quotes at the end of emails in the signature, shit by Mark Twain and stuff[/quote]

Also the cunts who have that “please think of the trees before printing off this email” nonsense.

Additionally cunts who print off every email

[quote=“mickee321, post: 899454, member: 367”]cunts as well who have these dramatic email signatures with job title, cell, land line (what type of company uses a LL now tho…), email address…
other fuckers as well who put quotes at the end of emails in the signature, shit by Mark Twain and stuff[/quote]
A lad I’ve been corresponding with recently has this at the end of his email.

“The little things you know, you owe to your own ignorance.”

[quote=“Horsebox, post: 899459, member: 1537”]A lad I’ve been corresponding with recently has this at the end of his email.

“The little things you know, you owe to your own ignorance.”[/quote]

another one just now here:
“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required."
-Sir Winston Churchill

[quote=“artfoley, post: 899420, member: 179”]I remain, yours faithfully

Art foley[/quote]

Art, if I may suggest, these cunts know right fucking well who the e-mail is from. Just end it with Foley.
It’s indicitive of a busy man, in an authoritive position who hasn’t the time for any more niceities.**

** This of course may not the case.