I’m from the factory. I make the machines.
What are you strengths?
Accounts.
That is due to be discussed. I am on the cusp of a pay grade increase. I couldn’t have timed it better to take the last two weeks off, showed how valuable a team member I am. I will be strutting into that meeting room at 1.30
What are your weaknesses?
Eczema.
[quote=“Elvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 834178, member: 1624”]What are your weaknesses?
Eczema.[/quote]
What is your greatest weakness?
It might be indecisiveness or it could be procrastination. Can we come back to this later?
“Real knowledge, real consistency of work”
Cool as fucking mustard:clap:
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 834234, member: 1137”]“Real knowledge, real consistency of work”
Cool as fucking mustard:clap:[/quote]
Brilliant news.
Keen as a cucumber. 
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 834234, member: 1137”]“Real knowledge, real consistency of work”
Cool as fucking mustard:clap:[/quote]
http://weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/dog-with-drawn-on-arms.gif
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 834234, member: 1137”]“Real knowledge, real consistency of work”
Cool as fucking mustard:clap:[/quote]
Your happy with being seen as Mr Consistent? Uh oh
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 834234, member: 1137”]“Real knowledge, real consistency of work”
Cool as fucking mustard:clap:[/quote]
And where will you lodge that? Did you get the fucking money?
Q4/End of Year review at 2:30 this afternoon. It’s gonna be off the hook, off the chain!
look, you’re right, Puke must be a young lad at the beginning of the corporate ladder to be flattered by that patronising shit.
Puke, i presume your company are following the model that Jack Welch developed at General Electric for ranking and rating of employees based on yearly performance, the physical model uses the bell curve / normal distribution, i.e. ~80% of the employees fall into the “consistent” or successful category whilst the remaining 15-20% are are at the extremities of the distribution and either very good (promo) or very bad.
Usually a manger would have a corporate requirement to ensure his team fit that distribution, he will then feed it forward to a department level where the overall picture is generated.
The horse trading that goes on at a managerial level in pushing employees to the extremes of the distribution is highly sickening, each manger MUST have an employee in the shit category as he/she must rank and rate their team according to the bell curve, this as you can tell leads to a wonderfully competitive culture within a “team”.
[quote=“mickee321, post: 874928, member: 367”]look, you’re right, Puke must be a young lad at the beginning of the corporate ladder to be flattered by that patronising shit.
Puke, i presume your company are following the model that Jack Welch developed at General Electric for ranking and rating of employees based on yearly performance, the physical model uses the bell curve / normal distribution, i.e. ~80% of the employees fall into the “consistent” or successful category whilst the remaining 15-20% are are at the extremities of the distribution and either very good (promo) or very bad.
Usually a manger would have a corporate requirement to ensure his team fit that distribution, he will then feed it forward to a department level where the overall picture is generated.
The horse trading that goes on at a managerial level in pushing employees to the extremes of the distribution is highly sickening, each manger MUST have an employee in the shit category as he/she must rank and rate their team according to the bell curve, this as you can tell leads to a wonderfully competitive culture within a “team”.[/quote]
Thats exactly how it works Mickee. They are falling over themselves in our place her trying to impress and getting involved in extra curricular activities in their spare time to try and make the 5 stars.
I just cant do it, I tried once years ago to buy into the corporate bullshit but its a hard act to pull off and it wasn’t for me.
I’ll never go permo again.
Mickee knows the score. I did the calibration of my team last week.
Here is how you do it
3 achievements
3 strengths
3 areas to improve
all on 1 A4 page, font 10
[quote=“mickee321, post: 874968, member: 367”]3 achievements
3 strengths
3 areas to improve
all on 1 A4 page, font 10[/quote]
I think i explained this to you previously on this thread. Mine is currently just shy of 9 pages between my Goals/Results/challenges and 14 value based competencies.
It is a load of waffle truth be told but each yearly merit increase is based off the back of it.
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 408007, member: 1137”]Yes, quarterly and it is quite formal and structured.
I have a 7 A4 pages here of goals and results split over areas like People, Veolocity, Cost, Quality etc and then there are Value Based Competencies like Building Trust, Customer Focus, Enterprose Point of View and so forth. Then you are given a rating between 1 and 5 (although 3 is split into 3A/3B/3C and most people are awarded one of these) for your performance over the period which leads to pay rises and increments at the end of the year. 3A and above is seen as good - 3C and below and you are fucked and action plans are drawn to improve performance.
It is a load of shit and the boss doesn’t particularly like it but his boss and his bosses boss are stricklers for it meaning we all have to tow the line and have these quartly reviews. Other departments only pay lipservice to it and might only do it in december[/quote]
bump @mickee321
jesus @The Puke[/USER] @[USER=1137]chewy louie that sounds diabolical
efficiency dosen’t sound like a value that particular organisation has high on its list, you should be able to get that into a one pager.
I suggest you encourage incorporating some LEAN principles into the day to day running of things at your next one on one with your group leader in order to reduce the expenditure of resources on things like this and focus on the customer, you can even suggest kicking off a KAIZEN* to identify focus on the 7 wastes… you wont regret it pal.
*a KAIZEN is a Japaneese term but is in effect a “come to jesus” type of session where the stakeholders strive to identify means to continually improve the process from a customer standpoint, all the time focusing on waste elimination
Mickee knows the way to get up the corporate ladder. No doubt about it.
He knows how to lick arse. I’ll give him that much. The type of cunt at work who makes your skin crawl