Flux off
Hasn’t the standard TFK solution been offered yet: Multiple choice:
Push it down the drive and see will it be stolen.
Get Mattie to tow it away and set it on fire somewhere.
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Buy some cheap booze as well.
So you won’t be in Fraher Field on Sunday then……I was looking forward to a 
or
No bucko. Enjoy the trip.
I’d agree with that. Not that I’d know much about it but it’s easy enough get a metre to check the battery.
If the battery is flat even connected via jump leads to another car it may take a few mins to charge it up whilst running vehicle is slightly revved up.
If your jump leads are cheap lights ones and are getting hot whilst attached that could be your issue too. Light cheap leads are useless.
A trickle charger again if a cheap model will take a good while to charge the battery back up.
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D’yu think that Flatty has cheap accessories. The jump leads are Louis Vuitton and the charger is a BMW one.
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The amount of lads who buy jump leads in fillings stations is large I’d imagine
Apparently, according to my mate Jim, the modern jump packs won’t work if your battery is completely fcuked. He explained why, but I can’t remember.
I’ve left it on trickle charge and will report back later.
@flattythehurdler you might as well put the trickle charger on your mickey. Away down to Halfords or whatever other car parts place near you and get yourself a new battery and don’t be codding yourself with lads on here
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@flattythehurdler needs to have as little interaction with people selling him things as possible, he’d probably go in for a battery and end up coming out with a diamond encrusted gear knob for £2k
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Forgive my ignorance here but I have a question.
When you attach jump leads between a running and a dead car, I always assumed you were just placing the two batteries in parallel. You are basically just using the power in the good battery in the running car to start the dead car. No actual charging of the dead battery takes place with the jump leads. You just get it started, disconnect the leads, and then run it out the road in third gear to charge the dead battery.
If the battery is flat the tick over charge provided may not be enough to get her started.
The jump pack is different, and it’s basically a portable battery in itself. The newer ones apparently won’t work with an absolutely dead battery though. I’m not sure why. They can sense it like a Jedi mind trick, and refuse to fire.
My trickle charger is now showing charging rather than battery fault.
If it works, I’ll see how it goes, but with an eye on a new battery forthwith (and diamond encrusted gear knob)
Final edit, it’s not the starter. The whole car is completely dead, lights, central locking etc etc.
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You in the AA?
I am, but I’ll try myself first.
Don’t be wasting your time. This is what you pay the premium for. They’ll come out, give the battery a jolt. If that doesn’t work they’ll tow you to the garage and they might even let you sit up in the cab in the big lorry.
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They put you in a plastic cage in the back these days.
Fcuk that.
Lookit if the charger doesn’t work I’ll go green flag.