Classic Simpsons Quotes


#261

First, you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing until he turns away in disgust. That’s when it’s time to kick some back


#262

Wait, I’m a hemophiliac!


#263

Bart’s comet is currently on Sky 1.

A classic:clap:


#264

[QUOTE=“The Big Cheese, post: 1030451, member: 1137”]Bart’s comet is currently on Sky 1.

A classic:clap:[/QUOTE]

Agree.

Astoundingly brilliant.

You know what? He’s right.
About the duck?
ABOUT EVERYTHING DAMN IT!!
Hold on Homer, I want to die too.


#265

[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 1030466, member: 24”]Agree.

Astoundingly brilliant.

You know what? He’s right.
About the duck?
ABOUT EVERYTHING DAMN IT!!
Hold on Homer, I want to die too.[/QUOTE]

Homer: Get out of there. My family needs to use your bomb shelter.

Ned: I kind of figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families.

Homer: No deal. Out.


#266

[QUOTE=“The Big Cheese, post: 1030470, member: 1137”]Homer: Get out of there. My family needs to use your bomb shelter.

Ned: I kind of figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families.

Homer: No deal. Out.[/QUOTE]

:smiley:

I was going to post that.


#267

Homer: Didn’t you hear what that guy in the building said?
Lisa: - But, Dad, don’t you think?
Homer: - Lisa. The reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think all the time.
Just like that rain-forest scare a few years back.
Our officials saw there was a problem, and they fixed it, didn’t they?
Lisa: - No, Dad. I don’t think
Homer: - There’s that word again.


#268

[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 1030466, member: 24”]Agree.

Astoundingly brilliant.

You know what? He’s right.
About the duck?
ABOUT EVERYTHING DAMN IT!!
Hold on Homer, I want to die too.[/QUOTE]
It’s a baby ox not a fucking duck.


#269

I’m disgusted with the lot of you! And especially his children!

[whispering to Rodd and Todd] I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.

:smiley:
What was that about?!


#270

Bart versus Australia just starting on Sky One now:clap:


#271

I see you’ve played knifey spooney before


#272

Marge (to Homer): So you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
Homer: I don’t think I have a choice, Marge.
Marge: Of course you have a choice.
Homer: How do you figure?
Marge: You don’t have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along.
Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.


#273

Marge completes the shooting range while training to become a cop: Wiggum, “tsk tsk tsk, you missed the baby, you missed the blind man…”


#274

Not a quote, but pictures from a so bad, it’s good, Simpsons costume contest

http://imgur.com/a/vBklC


#275

Stop! Stop! He’s already dead!


#276

[B]Lisa[/B]: [tucking in Rod] Once there was a robot named Todd.

[B]Todd[/B]: Did he have a brother?

[B]Lisa[/B]: Yes, he had a brother named Rod, who was two space years older than him.

[B]Todd[/B]: [frightened, pulls up his blanket] I don’t like this story!


#277

[B]Rainier Wolfcastle[/B] (at the opening of "Planet Hype): It’s true! The entire menu was personally approved by my secretary.


#278

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!


#279

[QUOTE=“artfoley, post: 1038261, member: 179”]Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it![/QUOTE]

What’s Steven Spielberg doing?
I believe he’s busy sir.
Well bring me his non union Mexican equivalent!!


#280

[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 1038274, member: 24”]What’s Steven Spielberg doing?
I believe he’s busy sir.
Well bring me his non union Mexican equivalent!![/QUOTE]
That episode was a goldmine
[MEDIA=dailymotion]x1o63ok[/MEDIA]

And

Jay Sherman: Welcome to “Coming Attractions”. I’m your host, Jay Sherman. Thank you. Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in “Death Wish 9.”
[Charles Bronson is in a hospital bed]
Charles Bronson: I wish I was dead. Oy!
Jay Sherman: But first, we have a special guest: Rainer Wolfcastle, star of the reprehensible McBain movies.
Rainer Wolfcastle: Jay, my new film is a mixture of action und comedy. It’s called “McBain: Let’s Get Silly.”
[Cut to clip from movie showing McBain with a microphone in front of a brick wall]
Rainer Wolfcastle as McBain: Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?
[pause]
Rainer Wolfcastle as McBain: That’s the joke.
Man in audience: You suck, McBain!
[McBain pulls a machine gun and fires into the audience]
Rainer Wolfcastle as McBain: Now, my Woody Allen impression: I’m a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.
Man in audience: Hey, that really sucked!
[McBain pulls the pin on a grenade and tosses it at him]
Rainer Wolfcastle: [Cut back to Rainer and Jay] The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million.
Jay Sherman: [contemptuous] How do you sleep at night?
Rainer Wolfcastle: On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
Jay Sherman: Just asking. Yeesh