Canary m burns
“The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialling wand, please mash the keypad now.”
It’s a touchdown for halfback Dan Beer-dorf! Duff Dry has won the Duff Bowl!
[I]``They wanted it more,’’ notes Moe.
Barney: Hey Homer, didn’t you say that if Duff Dry wins [the Duff Bowl],
your daughter loves you?
Homer: Not Duff Dry. Washington!
Barney: Okay, okay. They’re great teams.[/I]
Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because… I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Hi Nelson! I would like you to meet my new friend Moe. He said that he would take you to the park sometime.
Hang on now - I said I might!
Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine. Yeah, I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!
Funniest clip ever?
Ah Ralfie get off the stage sweetheart!!
"You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGarnagle. Did you really have to break so much furniture?”
“You tell me, you had a pretty good view from behind your desk.”
“You’re off the case, McGarnagle!”
“You’re off YOUR case, Chief.”
"What does that mean, exactly?
IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!
[ATTACH=full]2526[/ATTACH]
[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 1091144, member: 24”]Funniest clip ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI
[/QUOTE]
Brilliant
Monorail episode on Sky 1 now:clap:
I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin.
One night he looked out the window and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie.
We wrote a song about it, but it ended up infringing on one he recorded years before.
The Japanese?! Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?! Bosh! Flimshaw!
Ah so that’s what was wrong with the little fella - he’s missing casual sex.
When Homer wants to teach a class
Interviewer: What is your area of expertise?
Homer: Well, I can tell the difference between butter and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”
Admin: No you can’t, Mr. Simpson! No one can.
Homer: Oh, I’ve failed again. Everyone can teach a class but me. I’m an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?
Interviewer: Oh, you’re married?
Homer: That depends…is there another way to get this job?
This whole bit.
“Marge, this may be hard to believe but I’m trapped inside two vending machines.”
Man: Homer, this is never easy to say. I’m going to have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They’ll grow back, right?
Man: Oh…yeah
“Homer, are you just holding onto the can?”
