Canary m burns
“The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialling wand, please mash the keypad now.”
It’s a touchdown for halfback Dan Beer-dorf! Duff Dry has won the Duff Bowl!
[I]``They wanted it more,’’ notes Moe.
Barney: Hey Homer, didn’t you say that if Duff Dry wins [the Duff Bowl],
your daughter loves you?
Homer: Not Duff Dry. Washington!
Barney: Okay, okay. They’re great teams.[/I]
Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because… I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Hi Nelson! I would like you to meet my new friend Moe. He said that he would take you to the park sometime.
Hang on now - I said I might!
Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine. Yeah, I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!
"You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGarnagle. Did you really have to break so much furniture?”
“You tell me, you had a pretty good view from behind your desk.”
“You’re off the case, McGarnagle!”
“You’re off YOUR case, Chief.”
"What does that mean, exactly?
IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF!
[ATTACH=full]2526[/ATTACH]
[QUOTE=“farmerinthecity, post: 1091144, member: 24”]Funniest clip ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI
[/QUOTE]
Brilliant
Monorail episode on Sky 1 now:clap:
I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin.
One night he looked out the window and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie.
We wrote a song about it, but it ended up infringing on one he recorded years before.
The Japanese?! Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?! Bosh! Flimshaw!
Ah so that’s what was wrong with the little fella - he’s missing casual sex.
When Homer wants to teach a class
Interviewer: What is your area of expertise?
Homer: Well, I can tell the difference between butter and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”
Admin: No you can’t, Mr. Simpson! No one can.
Homer: Oh, I’ve failed again. Everyone can teach a class but me. I’m an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?
Interviewer: Oh, you’re married?
Homer: That depends…is there another way to get this job?
This whole bit.
“Marge, this may be hard to believe but I’m trapped inside two vending machines.”
Man: Homer, this is never easy to say. I’m going to have to saw your arms off.
Homer: They’ll grow back, right?
Man: Oh…yeah
“Homer, are you just holding onto the can?”
