Classic Simpsons Quotes


As fine of a half hour of comedy as you’ll see.

'I’m disgusted by everyone!! Especially his children!!

(I’m sorry. Please forgive me)’.

I am not sure what that was about but it was very funny.



Grampa: What’s the matter, boy?
Homer: Nothing.
Grampa: You haven’t said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the
bucket [of `Shakespeare’s Fried Chicken’] out of your greasy
Homer: Dad, I’m in love.
Grampa: Uh oh! Why don’t you grab yourself a beer, boy.
Homer: But Dad, I don’t drink …
Grampa: Cut the crap!
[in a mocking voice] I just collect the cans, Daddy.
[in his normal voice] Now grab yourself a beer and get me one
too. Now, this girlfriend of yours, is she a real looker?
Homer: Uh huh.
Grampa: A lot on the ball? [ie, intelligent?]
Homer: Yeah.
Grampa: Oh, Son, don’t overreach!
Go for the DENTED car,
the DEAD-END end job,
Oh, I blame myself. I should’ve had this talk a long time ago.
Homer: Thanks, Pop.


Hugh Hefner: A lot of people know about the Grotto and the Game Room…
Bart: Of course.
Hugh Hefner: …but few know about the laboratory, the biosphere the alternative energy research center.
Bart: Fascinating. (Looks out window) De-salinization plant…?
Hugh Hefner: Yes. The Grotto uses so much water, the bunnies felt we should go this way.
Bart: Smart bunnies, Hef. I can call you Hef, can’t I?
Hugh Hefner: No.


Mayor Quimby, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there’s too much blood on the knob…

What is your, ah, question?

My question is about the budget, sir.



Everything’s coming up Milhouse!



That’s real acid so I want to see goggles people!


Sleek, vigilant puma. The principal of the mountains.


His breath stank of beer and pretzeled bread.

I am sure the manual will instruct me as to which lever is the velocitator and which one is the deceleratrix.


Id like to buy your deadliest weapon
Isle 6 next to the sympathy cards


Chilli festival Johnny cash coyote hallucination episode on Sky 1 now


Home on the couch, "I always just figured my wife was my soulmate, but if not large then who is it? Where do I begin looking?"
Man, “this really goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman, now if you don’t want to buy the couch I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”


“Hey pal, did you get a load of the nerd!?”
“Pardon me?”



Marge: But you liked Rashomon
Homer: That’s not how I remember it


Very apt for today

‘Japanese will eat us alive’ :smile:

You can’t treat the working man this way! One of these days we’ll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we’ll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!


“Put it in H”


The 17th August post on this page is sensational :joy: