Classic Simpsons Quotes





Still love the old episodes after 2000 things went to shit.




Mr. Burns: Who is that lavatory links man, Smithers?
Waylon Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Well, he’s certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I’ve finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns, eh?
Waylon Smithers: His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I’ve never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.
Mr. Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his
[imitating Nixon]
Mr. Burns: “Oh, I can’t go to prison, Monty. They’ll eat me alive!”
[Smithers laughs]
Mr. Burns: I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?
Waylon Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.
Mr. Burns: Bah! Schedule a game and I’ll ask him myself



Incredible writing.


Beer Baron episode on sky+1 now




Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool!!



I need to get up higher.

[Spots a bunch of balloons]

Ah ha!

These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker.


The Lemon Tree episode on channel 4 right now.

Stone cold classic


Team Discovery Channel


Here’s a tip. Put a sprig of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.


“Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum’s rush.”
“We don’t have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn’t rush, they’d be allowed to go at their own pace.”


Monty Burns “I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”


Drunkedness, violence, destruction of property.

Are these activities you would usually associate with the Irish?