“Acid eh? Gee that would’ve been stupid. Boy would my face have been red!!”
The gun episode of the Simpsons.
Top class satire.
‘It could have been a real messy situation but luckily I managed to shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp’
Wiggam has some great lines.
“Suspect is hatless, I repeat hatless”
I’m directly under the earth’s sun… Now.
Eh - get down off the stage Ralphie sweetheart.
Get them to drop the money under the big net in the park.
And then the net will fall down on them Chief?
Hey! I like it! I like it a lot!!
I’d rather let a 1000 guilty men go free than chase after them.
Ehh that really was more of a burgundy.
Apu : Well if the police won’t help us I guess we’ll just have to take the law into our own hands.
Chief Wiggum : Yeah, yeah a lot of people are doing that these days.
Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice… like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night… like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I’ll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
[Wiggum raises his arms and starts typing on air in sarcasm and starts humming]
Homer: You don’t have to humiliate me.
[Homer walks off, and another man walks in, wearing slightly burned clothes and playing compulsively with a lighter]
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I’m afraid I’ll do it again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I’ll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
[goes through the same sarcastic routine]
Smithers: I have to find someone to replace me while I’m gone who won’t outshine me. I’ll search the employee database under the word “incompetent”.
Computer: 714 matches found.
Smithers: 714 names? I’d better narrow the search. Let’s see… “lazy”, “clumsy”, “monstrously ugly”.
Computer: Searching… 714 matches found.
Smithers: Nuts to this! I’ll just go and get Homer Simpson.
Marge: Well, did you call one of your friends?
Lisa: Friends? Hah! These are my only friends. Grown up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.
Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
This episode is just over on RTE. A classic
“My eyes, the goggles they do nothing!”
Up and at them!!