Farmer’s just disappointed Reverend Lovejoy never raped either of them
I always like when Arnie Pie gets an outing, particularly when he gets angry with Kent Brockman
Kent Brockman: “We now take you live to Arnie “Pie in the Sky” for an update on the kidnapping.”
Arnie (in helicopter): “I can see the van Kent – I’m going to try to hit the driver with my shoe.”
Kent: “I think you’d better leave that to the police, Arnie.”
Arnie: “I’m sick of being a reporter! I want to make the news!”
Kent: “This isn’t the time Arnie.”
Arnie: “You’re not the time, Kent! You’re not the time!”
Arnie Pie: He’s trying to jump the fence, now he realizes he’s too fat… He’s climbed into a pipe and he seems to be stuck, his legs are dangling in a comical fashion, oh! It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen!
Kent: Arnie, Arnie, how are the children?
Arnie Pie:I can’t see through metal Kent!!!
Kent Brockman: Arnie, you’re meant to be filming people coping with the loss of their church.
Arnie: And how am I meant to do that Kent? With a magic mirror that can see into people’s souls? Well your’s would be BLACK Kent, BLACK LIKE THE ACE OF SPADES!!!
:lol:
The delivery of that line was fantastic
Krabappel: Just speak from the heart, Seymour. Tell them how we brought a little happiness into each others’ lives. Ask them why they’re forcing two dedicated people to choose between their careers and their hearts.
Mrs. Flanders: Excuse me Edna, I don’t think were talking about love here. We’re talking about S-E-X. In front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down.
Krusty: “Gentlemen, I am your candidate. There’s just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up youthful, middle aged indiscretions?”
Burns: “Are these indiscretions romantic, financial or treasonous?”
Krusty: “Russian hooker, you tell me.”
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Lisa: You can’t afford this. How can you afford this?
Bart: Ahh you’ve been all edgy and suspicious ever since I gave you
those Pep Pills.
Lisa: [peppy and speedy] What are you talking about-I don’t need
pep pills to be suspicious-If I wanna comment on it, I’ll
comment on it-Who’s gonna stop me-You, Pep Pill Boy?-Pep boys-
pills-Beverly Sills-Oh boy ah boy-Uh oh-uh oh… [walks out
of Bart’s room and off-screen]
Uh oh. I gotta stop taking those pills…
Maybe it’s the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won’t quit.
They got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? get outta here [scrawl]
When the Springfield folk rebuilt Flanders’ House after the hurricane:
Apu: This is the room with electricity. But it has too much electricity. So, I don’t know, you might want to wear a hat.
When Apu and Manjula had the octuplets:
Apu: Oh. I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.
Manjula: Oh no you don’t! Not til they’re out of college.
Apu: Listen, I’ll die when I want to!
Apu : Snap on your bulletproof vest Sanjay, it’s time for another bank run
Sanjay : Alright, but if I don’t make it, promise you won’t sleep with my wife
Apu : I promise nothing
One of my all time favourites:
Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn’t it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you!
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
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Homer: Lurleen, wait.
Lurleen: Yeah?
Homer: I just wanted to say your song touched me deeply in a way I’ve never felt before… and which way to the can?
This Lurleen episode is one of the best in the Simpsons catalogue.
‘Don’t look up my dress unless you mean it’.
‘Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen’.
‘Did you know Buddy Holly stood outside this very recording studio in 1958 and said there is no way I am recording in this dump’.
‘As much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.’
I found my wife in bed with my best friend.
Bitter?
Yep, bit him as well.
[b][color="#000000"]Marge[/b][color="#000000"]:[color="#000000"] Mmmm… okay, maybe the moral of the story is “The squeaky wheel gets the grease!”
[color="#000000"]Homer: Maybe there is no moral, Marge. Maybe it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened.
Marge: [over radio] Homer I have someone here who thinks he can help you.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: Its not Batman.
(Apu and Manjula argue in Indian)
Marge: I think we should leave.
Homer: Uh uh, no way. I don’t wanna miss a word …
Marge: But you don’t know what they’re saying!
Homer: I’m picking it up … “sala” seems to mean “jerk,” and I think “Manjula” means some kind of spaceship …
‘Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.’
“I dont have a mirror that can see into people’s souls, but if I did yours would be black, Kent, black as the ace of spades!”
Spud: Hey, they just ran into the house. That Homer fella grifted you good, dad.
Cooder: Well, there’s no shame in being beaten by the best.
Spud: But, he didn’t seem . . .
Cooder: (angrily) We were beaten by the best, boy.