Coffee thread, aka a thread for spoofers

@Bandage I got one of these pots in Lidl for 9.99. The coffee is unreal out of them. Definitely several steps above the capsules and the pods.

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How many cups per fill?

One and a half.

Drink matcha lattes

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They can make a right mess if you’re not careful.

I’m always careful.

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I sadly rarely am.
As an aside, I was on the bike coming home from work in the dark night on thirsday when pure happenstance and ill luck led me to be trapped filtering between a super jumbo artic and a car. The cunt in the car wouldn’t move a foot to the right so after a few yards the artic driver banged on the airbreaks, and, as I successfully completed my filtering manoeuvre, wound down the the window, and shouted somewhat resignedly in a broad Wigan accent “It’s no wonder you lot get fucking killed all the time”
A thoroughly alright sort, the memory has given me a laugh or two since.

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Okay guys. I don’t want to become a barista in my spare time so let’s put coffee grinders and all that shit to one side for now. I want something compact which will take the pods/capsules/whatever the fuck you call them and produce a coffee in circa 20 seconds. I also want something with a tank which doesn’t have to be filled with water for every single cup. What’s the best of the options mentioned above to match this criteria?

Nespresso, ignore the coffee snobs.

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It’s shit coffee mate, I know because I have one, not a cheap one either.
Once it is done I will never again get one, nothing snobby about it

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Tassimo.

Nespresso. Cheap machine. With a separate frother.

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Nesoresso

Your a tae man. Don’t ever change.

I don’t drink coffee mate, but it meets his requirements. If you want idiot proof coffee you would have to pay a lot more for significantly better.

You could give that as your postal address at this stage.

Spooning coffee into a bowl isn’t difficult really, a cheap delonghi machine would be far superior

I think they have a Nespresso knock off machine in Aldi this week. Worth giving it a go to see if you’d like it. They only make espressos though so a lad like yourself who like huddling with the missus with big mugs of coffee won’t feel well served. Your nearest one is on the East Wall Road.

You just add hot water.