Coronavirus - the deadly virus that no one dies from

[Fulvio_From_Aughnacloy]

I’m going with 123 new cases today.

[Tassotti]

I hope there is 1000

[mikehunt]

You seem very irritable. Is the Ibiza rash giving you gyp?

[BruidheanChaorthainn]

It’s what we deserve at this stage.

[iron_mike]

@Tassotti

Mike lockdown willi be on now slabbering about Jacinta Aherne and New Zealand. About how great they are. A single state island nation 20,000 miles away from civilisation, who have destroyed their international trade trying to compare it to Ireland. Jacinta Aherne who took a 20% pay cut (her salary is 237,000) I’m sure she’ll survive without having to go to Aldi

Shed be better off going to lidl this week. They’ve an offer on electric drills starting Thursday.

[Copper_pipe]

Virgin Media News (VirginMediaNews)

[myboyblue]

@mikehunt

I heard a story of a club hurler in Laois heading off to a match despite waiting on the results of Covid test. He didn’t play so headed to a junoor match the following day. He was in a car of four each time. Subsequently tested positive as did some of his co-passengers. cc @myboyblue

The car of 4 isn’t true I believe, but the rest is if you are to go on reports in the local meeja. You can’t account for people’s stupidity sadly.

[Batigol]

Virus cases in Ireland per 100,000 now higher than UK

The green list is gonna grow massively this week. Nice bit of positivity

[Tassotti]

Paddy laughing at the brits all along. How will Brenda on Facebook approach this one

[Lazarus]

Our lot haven’t a notion. And lads going on about how great life is getting some sun in New Ross. You couldn’t make it up

[Tassotti]

A cup of coffee sitting on a rock in Buncloady lòoking at the sea, then back to the hotel room for 4 cans of Guinness on your own with the child roaring and the guards telling you turn off the light at half ten. Some life

[Batigol]

The new normal

[Aertel220]

Bunclody isn’t even by the seaside and lads are still content to be sitting on rocks there😅

[The_Most_Infamous]

But shur it’ll be all worth it once everyones safe.

You actually couldnt make this thing up.

[Lazarus]

Get busy living

[binkybarnes]

@Copper_pipe

#BREAKING: Carroll Cuisine in Tullamore, #Offaly is suspending operations “to support measures by the public health services to prevent the spread of Coronavirus in the community” It comes after nine

Ah great. Stephen Donnelly must have asked them really nicely to close.

[Batigol]

I don’t know what the number of cases will be today, possibly a few hundred, but I’d be willing to bet the deaths will be between zero and one (inclusive).

This excludes deaths from three months ago that they only noticed now, obviously

[Thomas_Brady]

You’d imagine someone in one of those meat factories would have got out in front of this much earlier - closed up shop, giveN the usual talk about welfare and safety and donning the green overalls in national interests etc. etc and a free pack of ham for everyone in lockeddown in KOL/LOK/OLK … thick bastards.

[balbec]

Does that mean I might be welcome back in Ireland again?

[Thomas_Brady]

News just in …

Ireland surpasses US for confirmed cases announced in the last 21 mins … The Taoiseach is said to be considering going back to phase three, or possibly two and there’s even talk of going all the way back to full lockdown in phase 1. But all indicators are we will remain in phase 4 and the last two sentences were just added to this news report for effect.

Back to you in the studio Brenda and Nulal.